Sold VAJtastic Volvo 960 FORSE HAIL (Sold)

[danthecapriman]

Hopefully not seeing as rml2345 brought the 850 up yesterday and at least we know where the 960 is so if we want it back, we know where to look. Remember cms206 took delivery of the 740 turbo a few weeks ago and his V40 turbo at Christmas as well so stock levels are on the rise. I should do a formal fleet update.

Meanwhile I shall lock my 740 up and chain it to the floor so it can't flock north with the rest of them!

[davidfowler2000]

I've not done one of these formal updates since the start of 2015 when I got the silver turbo. Christ. Anyways...
 

SVM Fleet Status (2017 Q1):

Andy (cms206)

2 x 745 : "Savalas" Council Estate. Operational. "Woy Cwopper" OMGHGF and OMG heater matrix FAEL! For disposal

1 x 745 Turbo : Very rough inside. Everything held together with bathroom sealant. Ceiling turfed.

1 x 854 : Very waft. Such grunt. Wow.

1 x 345 : Condemned but technically still there.

1 x V40 T4 : Turbochargered for much HOODLUMING. Borked Clutch slave.

 

Dave (davidfowler2000)
1 x 745 : Blue. SVM Staff Car. Recently described as "Lush"

 

Neil (Creeping Jesus)

1 x V70, Red. Currently VOR pending various jobs

1 x 765, Silver. Formerly Dave's. Daily driver.

 

Richard (Richard)
1 x 850 TD. Status unchanged. Got mud inside at Shitefest '16 from leaving windows open.

 

Alan (aldo135)

1 x 740GL. White. Very, very, very, very tidy. Tweed seats. Yum!

 

John (Tickman)

1 x 940. Silver.

 

Adrian (rml2345)

1 x 850. Much happiness.

 

Inactive members.
Ryan (Voltastic)

1 x S40. Known to still be around

 

Joe (Joseph Martin)

Fleet unknown

 

Lee (Swampy21)

1 x 945GLE. Red. "The Baron".

 

 

SVM Fleet Movements and Information. 2017, Q1

Since 2015, Andy got The Council Estate Running again after over a year VOR. A seriously grumpy bastard these days after an extrordinarily spirited* run from Cannock to Glasgow due to a family emergency. He aquired an orange 765 Turbo which has since went to the bin. It never ran right. The 945 "Bertha" has also went to the bin oweing to serious corrosion and poor engine running. Suspect electronics failure. He also gained and has since moved on a 340 Variomatic. This now resides with skattrd. WIFE_CMS was mental enough to buy him a V40 T4 for his Christmas and although needing work done, will get said work done. Much fastness due to a fat turbo. It has since shat it's clutch slave cylinder and he's lost the keys. Then about 2 weeks later, he managed to find a 740 Turbo estate in need of love. It got a new clutch thrust bearing and release fork to get it going. The 345D (The luxe fell off) has been sat since it was successfully fired up for the first time in 17 years. It's terminally rotten so is likely binward. The ex Gary Cox 745 Estate is also likely to head binward due to it's previous OMGHGF and never getting round to fixing it.

Dave sold the 760 Turbo estate to Neil Jebus and is now down to the original 740GLE in order to minimise fleet costs in preparation for mortage funding later in the year. This leaves SVM Central Division without a car with towing capability however the NATO spec towbar was recovered before sale for use on the Olympian decker. As is tradition, the 740GLE gets anything it wants even if it doesn't need it. It has seen things like new injectors and will likely receive a proper Nivomat self levelling suspension setup this year.

Neil still has the red V70 although it is believed to be needing some work to make it properly roadable again so the 760 was purchased to fill in for it in the meantime. The ex Wilson Wilson (Barry Shitpeas) 850 ended up going to the bin after it ate it's turbo. What with needing a new clutch, it just wasn't worth it.

Richard still has the diesel 850. It went to Shitefest 2016 and ended up getting copious amounts of mud inside when he tried to pull away in a muddy field with some steering lock on and the windows open.

Alan (aldo135), while a long term Scotoshite member and former Volvo owner, finally got himself a white 740GL estate to induct him in to the ranks of the SVM. It was bought on the cheap with suspect gearbox issues which turned out to be a seized kickdown cable resulting in massive clutch and brakeband failure. This has since been repaired with another gearbox.

John (Tickman) finally became brave enough to attempt a Scotoshite dinner when we started going to Larbert. He brought a tidy silver 940 estate on his first few meetings before bringing his Morris Minor and Triumph Toledo although the Volvo remains his stalwart motorway beater seeing as he does the meetings from Dundee. Has since become a firm regular at Scotoshite meetings and SVM regular member.

Lee (Swampy21) also finally gained SVM membership by finally turning up to a Scotoshite dinner in his red 940 estate however has failed to keep up attendance so has been placed Inactive for the time being. The red 940 is known to still be on fleet.

Adrian has, finally, regained full SVM Member status. After writing off the white 940 and going through a Mitsubishi (Lack of) Charisma, Citroen AX and Citroen Xantia he aquired the ex-JohnK 850. Only got it a couple of days ago so a full report is still waiting.

Spiny Norman's SVM membership has since rescinded after selling his rather rotten V40 and nonattendance at Scotoshite meetings.

Voltastic's SVM membership has been placed to Inactive status due to lack of Scotoshite meetings however it is know that he still runs his S40.

Joe has also been placed Inactive due to non-attendance of meetings owing to not been ideally placed to attend however it is known that a strong Volvo fleet is going with him.

[alcyonecorporation]

Tebay Services achieved, these are the facts:

 

FOADWERX visited and 305 door skin retrieved. Bonus items: front and rear Fiat 127 windscreens donated by Fuck Off And Die (Dunfermline) Ltd.

 

It costs £81 to brim.

Weird ticking noise suspected to be PAS pump.

 

Raspy exhaust now farting like a good 'un.

Possible slow puncture/porous wheel buggery detected from OSR. Horn silent.

 

Tebay pie delicious.

 

Next update from Lancaster University after I stop to get a shot from the underpass, bum its wi-fi and then get chased off campus by security.

[CreepingJesus]

Dave...

Joseph still has the utterly bargainous, top of the range, super luxo, Moss Green 855 T5, which is getting a few bits to be back on the road soon (tyres mostly, I think): at least one S40, and the misery spec blue 440 he's tucked away in a lockup somewhere. Still has the non-Volvo content too, which he's tried and failed to move on...!

[cms206]

Joe's got a 460 and a 480 too now IIRC.

 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

[rml2345]

Meanwhile I shall lock my 740 up and chain it to the floor so it can't flock north with the rest of them!

We'll find it... You can't hide a 740 forever...

 

Edited to add;

850. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!