Sold Roffle! The world's worst Goona2 £1 a ticket WCPGW?

[Guest Hooli]

Right, I'm due my first collection on saturday so I need to dispose of this pile of shite desirable but down on it's luck piece of frog magnificence. I can get £61 scrap for it, so if it doesn't go then it's no loss.

 

This wondrous conveyance presents as a 1.8 petrol Laguna Dynamic estate sports tourer with the ever desirable five speed gearbox, it's even equipped with a bonus sixth gear that allows you to retreat* in times of need. The coachwork presents in full giffer spec and is immaculately clean underneath the protective coating of filth. The half leather interior is complete with seats for five persons, comprising of the lucky driver and four victims passengers. The boot is easily large enough for two dead sex workers, this payload also allows you to tame the lift off oversteer if you happen to be transporting the weak hearted. Be the talk of the street when you turn up at home with this luxury car.

 

The good bits -

 

92k miles, not due a service till 100k.

 

It starts, drives, stops & does most** of the normal car things.

It's averaging 35mpg in everyday use & hasn't FTP'd in months.

 

The engine & box are pretty good actually, it was serviced 9k ago & the oil is still 3/4 of the way up the dipstick & quite clean. Fresh coolant at the same time as the service. Apart from the clanking of the axle bushes it's nice to drive.

 

Three of the electric windows work, the NSF needs a new regulator as the wire cable has broken.

 

The*** keycard has been repaired so it not only unlocks & locks the car it can even cause it to start whenever you wish.

 

All the things work, except for the bits that don't as mentioned below.

 

New rear discs, pads & front pads for the MOT last year.

 

The lucky new owner can be collected from Doncaster train station as part of the purchase price.

 

Long**** MOT till 1st March 2017.

 

Unless I can get it out, it'll even have £20-25 of petrol in it.

 

Theft proof, even car thieves would rather walk.

 

 

Bad bits -

 

The back doors don't open.

 

The rear fog warning light illuminates when you brake or indicate.

 

The info display flickers when you hit a big bump or adjust the heater.

 

I think all the above are an earth fault in the drivers footwell, I just can't be bothered to try & sort it.

 

Drivers seat has a broken cable so you can't adjust the backrest, it is however perfectly positioned for me so if you sit properly it's dead comfy.

 

No rear wiper arm & the nut that holds the motor to the glass is welded on, I assume someone stripped it before I got the car.

 

The rear axle bushes have gone, I had them replaced last year but I guess they used crap parts.

 

Aircon doesn't work. The light comes on & I think it gets very slightly cooler, might need regas? I've never bothered to find out.

 

Sunroof is siliconed shut to stop the body ECU flooding. The nearside drain is blocked & I've never bothered to get the arch liner out to sort it.

 

Slightly***** dented NSR door, see pics******.

 

 

Pics tomorrow if there is any interest. Needs to be gone by 1st Feb when the insurance expires, so don't delay - get it today!

 

 

 

 

*optional white flag dispenser not fitted

**see details about the rear doors

***singular

****if measured in minutes

*****badly

******no pics (yet)

[Kiltox]

I'll take all 59 tickets if you want to drive it to Cheltenham Spa train station on your way to get your new* car from an undisclosed location that is quite nearby....

[Cavcraft]

/\

Ignore him, he meant Chester station.

[Guest Hooli]

I'll take all 59 tickets if you want to drive it to Cheltenham Spa train station on your way to get your new* car from an undisclosed location that is quite nearby....

 

I've already paid for train tickets! Didn't think this would get any interest.

 

Could be a plan if ya serious though, I'll see what cancelling the tickets cost

[Kiltox]

It's only £8 or something like that from Cheltenham to where you're going so if you can get out of the train tickets you might do well

 

No worries if not though. I am serious

[Guest Hooli]

SOLD!

 

Bloody hell, this place etc. You can't even finish advertising a car & people snap it up!

 

 

Standby for a delivery & collection thread combined this weekend!

[Cavcraft]

Well bought Kiltox, bloody good deal that.

[Guest Hooli]

Wasn't worth writing such an amusing advert really was it?

 

I could have put 'crap car £59' & it'd have gone as quick!

[Kiltox]

My fleet clear out is going well and I now (almost) own TWO Laguna 2 estates!

 

Fuck!!

[SiC]

Looks like you're a proud owner of another Laguna!

 

Just don't tell the other half on how the shite clearance is going.

[SiC]

Out of interest, does this have the natty speaking computer in it?

[Guest Hooli]

Nope, no talking thingy. It's got a wireless though, it's kinda the same.

[Kiltox]

Anyone want a towbar for a Laguna 2 estate?

[SiC]

No. But I might need a wiper motor though!!

[Kiltox]

Assuming front - much cheapness if you come and remove it yourself!