Junkman chickens out despite SVM's sterling efforts - Caution: Terminally scary French chod content!

[Junkman]

Hello, my dear fellows from above,

 

Straight to the point, my current Rover of not doom is in good enough nick to reactivate my lost tradition of WBoD ownerage.

Being the snob I am, only something terminally bonkers will suffice, hence the following fine* motor has entered the inner circle of potential shite:

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/car-replacement-parts/citroen-xm-v6-automatic-spare-or-repair-/1187279267

 

1. Are there any objections against exporting it to that England?

 

2. Is anyone of you close enough to scope it out?

 

3. Would any of you be willing/able to shelter it for a few days until a "pre booked MoT" can be arranged?

 

4. Could any of you actually drive it to an MoT station? (this would be more than ideal)

 

 

I can assure you, that any assistance in this matter will be renumerated with appropriate sums of beer whisky money, in addition to coughing up for any expenses.

I also insist to meet everyone who is willing to get involved in this at a suitable purveyor of intoxicating liquids and at least the first round will be on me.

I will arrive unarmed, in peace and only with the best intentions, as usual. Guaranteed.

 

Many, many thanks in advance!

 

Your's truly

 

The Junkman

[dome]

1. Are there any objections against exporting it to that England? I'm sure a trade agreement can be arranged. Personally as it's not an early one export tax expectations will be low on my part.

 

2. Is anyone of you close enough to scope it out?

I'm not far away, however my knowledge of these things is somewhere between zero and fuck all

 

3. Would any of you be willing/able to shelter it for a few days until a "pre booked MoT" can be arranged?

Sadly not as my driveway is full, however see 4. for a possible solution.

 

4. Could any of you actually drive it to an MoT station? (this would be more than ideal)

Possibly. I work beside a tame MOT station in South Queensferry-possibility of driving/storing it in the car park there for a pre booked MOT could work. 

[320touring]

I have a tame mot garage nearby(they just do MOTs-no repairs)

 

I'm also sitting about 20 mins drive from the car just now-so could likely view if needed

[cort16]

No take it please

 

I could shelter it for a few days and could get it to an mot (given the guy I use hasn't go on holiday) but I'm about an hour away from it.

I'm not sure my blood pressure could take driving an mot less v6 hydrospastic citroen for an hour via the Kingston bridge so you'd have to get it to me somehow.

[BavarianRetro]

I can get it here and get it MoTd. It can also sit here until you want to collect it.

 

I know nothing about them, though.

[jonathan_dyane]

Looks great. I'm envious 🙂

[Junkman]

So how could we proceed with this?

 

I guess it would make more sense if whoever goes and looks at the car contacted the seller and arranges this with him directly, no?

Shall I paypal/wire some funds?

 

Besides, I know exactly the square root of fuck all about these myself, so let's call it even.

[320touring]

I have txt to see if it is still available- will advise if I hear back- then whomsoever can go see it:)

[Junkman]

Looks great. I'm envious

 

Thanks.

 

Should a deal come together, I'll envy myself.

 

Nossink moofza you lika a Sitroanna. Into a forest at 85 OMGMPH.

I had no idea my little old wrinkly prunes would still allow me to do this.

[320touring]

Car is still available- am awaiting details of when the vendor is able to facilitate viewings.

 

I may be busy at the weekend but happy to help however I can

[gm]

I live locally but am at work all weekend - sorry for this unhelpful post

 

good luck

[320touring]

Available to view post 5.30pm today or tomorrow.

 

Anyone able to do so?I'm busy tonight and tomorrow, but may be able to do sat if no one else can

[dome]

Available to view post 5.30pm today or tomorrow.

 

Anyone able to do so?I'm busy tonight and tomorrow, but may be able to do sat if no one else can

I'm about 20m away and finish at 5.30 tonight too so can come along and point/laugh as appropriate. However it's being sold by a breakers yard so they might be shut by then.

[dugong]

Why are you buying a fanboi suspension Citroen, Junkman?
It'll take up half of fucking Cheadle Hulme just to park it. 

If you think P6s are scatty pains in the arse........you don't know the half of it. 

[320touring]

I'm about 20m away and finish at 5.30 tonight too so can come along and point/laugh as appropriate. However it's being sold by a breakers yard so they might be shut by then.

He said

 

"Car can be viewed tomorrow? Or tonight after 5:30pm"

 

why dont you drop a line and go view for the poor chap?

 

I cannae as ahm oan the dinnur thenicht

[dugong]

"Aye, eht doesnee werkh." 

[320touring]

"Aye, eht doesnee werkh."

werkh is mair livourpull.. we're mair wurk up this way;)

[dugong]

werkh is mair livourpull.. we're mair wurk up this way;)

 

"aye, gid. norh, ehts fein."

 

"doz ye gan anee slayer?"

[beko1987]

It's not a volvo, I feel any offer of help by the SVM will be sabotage in disguise!

 

Pointers I would check are:

 

Does it piss out LHM when raising up or down? Raise it up to high and have a look under (without putting your head under)

Check the LHM level whilst on high

Does it piss coolant out from anywhere?

Are the tyres legal?

Does it stop?

Does the handbrake work? (brakes the front wheels, there's a lever to the RHS of the steering wheel on the dash, made of chocolate, I certainly avoided using mine apart from checking it worked the day before an MOT

Does the electric armrest work? Reject and set on fire if it doesn't.

 

We could go onto bounce tests and accumulator ticks but for £300 why would you?

 

For £300, anything else is a bonus!

[dugong]

It's not a volvo, I feel any offer of help by the SVM will be sabotage in disguise!

 

Pointers I would check are:

 

Does it piss out LHM when raising up or down? Raise it up to high and have a look under (without putting your head under)

Check the LHM level whilst on high

Does it piss coolant out from anywhere?

Are the tyres legal?

Does it stop?

Does the handbrake work? (brakes the front wheels, there's a lever to the RHS of the steering wheel on the dash, made of chocolate, I certainly avoided using mine apart from checking it worked the day before an MOT

Does the electric armrest work? Reject and set on fire if it doesn't.

 

We could go onto bounce tests and accumulator ticks but for £300 why would you?

 

For £300, anything else is a bonus!

Buy a £300 Volvo instead. 

 

[checks Captain Slow's drive] 

 

On second thoughts, don't. 

[cort16]

Do they also not rot like bastards? I'm oot this weekend so cannot assist.

[Junkman]

Why are you buying a fanboi suspension Citroen, Junkman?

That's none of my business, hence I don't give a shit.

Since when am I responsible for my deeds?

 

It'll take up half of fucking Cheadle Hulme just to park it.

That's why I live in Cheadle Heath and not where the ordinary people live.

 

If you think P6s are scatty pains in the arse........you don't know the half of it.

WCPGW?

[320touring]

Inamongst the jovial frippery here, Mr Dome should be off to see it either tonight or tomorrow- JM you may want to deop Mr Dome (Brian) a PM:)

[beko1987]

I imagine for £300 even if it does have terminal rot you'll break it easily if so inclined (and can make a kick arse 3 peice suite with the interior and battery...)

 

I don't know how they rot though, Campbell's broken a few, he might know.

[Junkman]

Whether it has terminal rot or not should be revealed during the first sighting, no?

[320touring]

Whether it has terminal rot or not should be revealed during the first sighting, no?

He knows what to look for, he's had a Princess Anne;)

[Junkman]

I thought Princess Annes are made from Lego?

 

Anyway, PM PMed, so let's sit and wait and drink tea until we know what hopeless pile of shite it really is.

 

I'm soooo excited...

[320touring]

Lego bolted to ferrous oxide..

 

Location details have been sent:)

[Junkman]

Have we forgotten an ingredient to make this all go terribly wrong?

I checked and it looks like we have them all.

[Junkman]

Plus there is imminent danger of winning the 405 Roffle.