Early Naughties French Rubbish plus novice mechanic equals.....

[Ben_O]

So i bought this last year.

 

It's not my cup of tea at all but in the interest of buying a car as cheap as possible and then running it for as long as possible whilst spending as little money as possible on it but it being reliable (takes breath) I brought a, erm.... well a Diesel Scenic 

 

 

 

 

Now i should have looked into this more because since buying it, i was inundated by people yelling NOOOOOOOOO and what were you thinking and i soon found out why....

 

 

[Cavcraft]

Good luck.

[purplebargeken]

I must be getting old as I think these are quite nice. Am also starting to like the Citroen Picasso.

[stripped fred]

How cheap was it?

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Tatoué maman seule surpoids Netto 

[UltraWomble]

They do look very nice ( I have the PSA offering of blobby jelly mould family haulabouts with components made of brie).

 

Are we taking bets on what the next post will be ( picture of grenaded donkey?)

[Ghosty]

Has it exploded yet?

[Bobthebeard]

Did you find that you suddenly weren't able to park properly? Took up three parent and child spaces yet still managed to bash your door on another car? Also had an inexplicable desire to go to KFC?

[Ben_O]

Purplebargeken, I thought it would make an ideal load lugger. I was originally looking for an estate to replace my ailing temporary 106 hack. It is actually quite a nice car!

 

Stripped Fred, It was very cheap but almost a waste of money as i will explain shortly

 

The Reverand Bluejeans, I don't have any Tattoos, nor am i overweight. Last time i checked, i wasn't a single mum either

 

UltraWomble and Ghostly, i will explain what happened shortly.

 

Bobthebeard, I can park it nicely but i just use the status to park where i want and how i want

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Did you find that you suddenly weren't able to park properly? Took up three parent and child spaces yet still managed to bash your door on another car? Also had an inexplicable desire to go to KFC?

 

 

As well as registering on Mumsnet?

[Noel Tidybeard]

DO NOT FILL THE OIL TO THE MAX MARK ON THE DIPSTICK

[Ben_O]

Ok so the story goes like this.

 

I was in Kent visiting the folks and was just doing my usual internet chod browsing (you know the sort, select category 'cars for sale' and then sub category 'cheapest first')

 

I saw the Scenic advertised as having a years MOT, 6 Months tax but with a rather vague description of a 'slight misfire'

As i was away from home (IOW) and the car was there, i phoned the chap up and he explained that it was very clean but didn't drive very well at low revs.

He was a friend of the owner who had had the car since it's 1st birthday and it had been looked after by the same garage in all that time and he said it wanted for nothing during her ownership.

 

I asked more about the misfire and he said he hadn't driven it himself but the woman said it was ok once you get the speed up a bit. he then went on to explain that the same thing happened 2 years before and they replaced 1 injector and all was well.

 

So i thought it was worth a punt, chuck an injector in and drive it. er...........no.

 

I sent my mother in law over with a £50 deposit with the promise to collect and pay the remaining Ã‚£100 hee hee hee when i returned to the Island.

 

On my return, i went over to collect it and discovered it was in the yard belonging to the chap i dealt with and he was in fact a Mechainc. Alarm bells started ringing... Why didn't he chuck an injector in it??

 

Anyway, he started it up and it barely ran, chugging and smoking but the fact that once your revved it past 2k it sort of cleared so i took the gamble, paid the man and set of on the 10 mile trip home.

 

And i was worried about being seen driving one of these.........

Nothing could prepare me for what followed.

 

10 miles of being completely engulfed in thick black smoke, not being able to make it out of 2nd gear and holding up long queues of traffic as i crawled along as fast as i could (15-20mph)

 

Finally i arrived home and was faced with the realisation that i had bought a complete Lemon...

 

grrrr

[alf892]

From your description I can confirm that your vehicle is operating as it should

[jonny69]

Hilarieux. So you bought an undesirable French car of well-known poor vintage, unseen, with known problems, from a dodgy mechanic, off an island that costs £70 to visit by boat. I think you deserve a round of applause

 

Can't be much up with it though, surely? It's a diesel after all. Set of injectors and glow plugs and it's got to be good to go.

[alf892]

Hilarieux. So you bought an undesirable French car of well-known poor vintage, unseen, with known problems, from a dodgy mechanic, off an island that costs £70 to visit by boat. I think you deserve a round of applause

 

Can't be much up with it though, surely? It's a diesel after all. Set of injectors and glow plugs and it's got to be good to go.

oh for the days when this was true................now its all blocked or leaking wires.

 

Electricity needs to have some kinda dye added........

[Ben_O]

So after i calmed down and decided that it might be a simple fix, I set to work stripping off some of the parts.

 

First up was the airfilter..

 

 

That seems odd considering it was replaced 6 months ago.

 

So off came the intercooler and turbo pipework. As i was pulling them off (ooo er) oil was dribbling out over everything. Not a good sign at all.

 

Here is a shot inside the intercooler

 

 

Inlet manifold where the EGR goes

 

 

Inlet from intercooler

 

 

Now i know a small amount of oil is normal but this is taking the piss.

 

I cleaned everything right up and reassembled and guess what?? no difference obviously.But, i wanted to see how long it needed to run to fill everything up with oil again.

 

And at this point, exhaust smoke started pouring up from behind the engine so i gave up.

 

FUCKING THING!!!

[Bobthebeard]

Just park it (badly) at the nearest McDonalds and forget it. Buy a Honda.

[Ben_O]

Another day, another Dollar.

 

Tools back out and i set to work trying to find out where the hell all of this smoke was coming from. I knew it had to be exhaust related and at the rate the engine was shaking about on idle, i imagined a crack in the exhaust or something.

 

I scrambled about on my back for 2 hours trying to unscrew the manifold nuts with the hope of being able to lift out the inlet and exhaust manifold complete with the turbo too.

 

Now i am inexperienced when it comes to this sort of spannering but i thought what the hell and after a lot of jiggling about and swearing, i managed to get it out complete with cut and grazed knuckles..

 

What did i find?

 

Well the precat had a split wide enough to fit a pound coin through and was long enough to almost meet in the middle.

 

doh!

[Ben_O]

After the process of elimination, i discovered that it was no4 cylinder that was the problem as it ran no differently with that injector disconnected so i swiftly ordered one on eBay for a tenner.

 

Whilst i was waiting for it to arrive, I welded up the mahoosive split in the pre cat and reassembled it all cleaning up as i went. I cleaned all of the soot and crap out of the inlet manifold and it all looked lovely.

I checked the turbo and although there was quite a bit of linear movement in the turbine shaft, there was no axial play so it went back on.

 

I also took the chance to check and unblock all breather pipes and cleaned and flushed through the oil feed and return pipe for the turbo.

[Ben_O]

Finally, the Injector turned up so it was promptly fitted and like a giddy schoolgirl, i turned the key thinking YESSSSSSSS!!! this is it.

 

Sadly, No. it ran no different whatsoever although there was no smoke coming out from behind the engine thanks to the now welded pre cat.

 

I spoke to a friendly renault mechainc, showed him a video of it running and he quickly told me that the engine was knackard and would need a rebuild. After looking at the photos and me telling him that the smell of Diesel was clinging to every inch of fabric inside the car, he unfortunately informed me that it had suffered with diesel runaway.

I didn't know what that was so for anyone here that doesn't, its where the engine runs on its own oil and quickly begins revving its nuts off and you can't do anything to stop it until it just runs out of oil or blows up.

 

oh dear...

[Ben_O]

I made some enquiries and was advised to remove the head to see what damage had occurred.

 

I was feeling pretty shitty about the whole thing and just wanted rid. I didn't have the know how, time or money to rebuild an engine so it was decided. The car was to be scrapped.

 

I phoned a scrap dealer who offered me £30. ha ha right o, he can piss rite off!

 

So instead, the car just sat there for the next nine months doing nothing.

 

I opened the car up one day and everything was covered in mould and cobwebs but i was determined to make something of it so i started making enquiries about a replacement engine for it but at £700 for a bare engine, there was no way so it sat a bit longer.

[Ben_O]

Sooooooo, i started looking for another car as the 106 was still ailing despite giving me another several thousand miles more service during the Scenic saga but it was fast approaching 200,000 miles and the clutch release bearing was starting to make huge noise.

 

So back to good old wightbay to search for another cheap car that would do me for a while and this came up in the search..

 

 

It had a rear end shunt and the gearbox had just exploded so the chap wanted it gone quickly.

I phoned him up with the burning question... Is it a 1.9DCI????

 

YES, it was!! so i jumped straight in the 106 and drove over to Harwoods Renault where the car had been left. I was expecting to meet Mr Joe Bloggs there to talk money but instead the owner turned out to be one of Harwoods master mechanics and he explained that after the shunt, it was just going to be used until the MOT ran out and then scrapped but then the gearbox went so he bought another car.

 

He started it up and it ran as sweet as a nut. He told me that he had been changing the engine oil and filter every 3000 miles and mechanically (apart from the box) was sound.

 

He wanted £150 for it which i was more than prepared to pay for a decent engine but after some haggling and the promise to return the wheels, cat and roof bars, a deal was struck for the excellent price of £90.

 

I was one happy chappy 

[UltraWomble]

 so for anyone here that doesn't, its where the engine runs on its own oil and quickly begins revving its nuts off

 

Because Renault.

[Ben_O]

The following day, This happened

 

 

and the money shot

 

 

Let my first ever engine swap commence

[Ben_O]

I saved some time by going all Jeremy Clarkson on the front end

 

[oldcars]

I saved some time by going all Jeremy Clarkson on the front end

 

Did you do the same to the red one

[UltraWomble]

I am of course waiting for the tragic twist in the tale of switching the new donkey on for the first time and it going runaway and eating itself....

[Ben_O]

These fell out when i ripped the undertray off

 

 

I guess we now know what went wrong with the box.

 

Next thing was to hire an engine crane

[Ben_O]

I hired a crane for £20 and set to it by first removing the dead engine from my red one.

 

 

It was completely painless and could not have gone smoother (note the Peugeot 205 GTI Axle stands 

 

Then pulled the lump out of the blue one

 

 

This went smoothly too!

 

I don't know what all the fuss is about. So many people told me not to attempt it as i would fail miserably and never get it in and running. (they must have been on crack perhaps?)

 

Easy so far!

[Aston Martin]

You bought not one, but two of the things? Welcome to AutoShite.