Junkman in Northern Phrench Shite Spottery Phrenzy

[Junkman]

Less like for the absence of pre-90s stuff: is Wimereux too posh, or has France had some sort of monster scrappage scheme / horror old car tax rate?

 

What I am showing here is the oldest of the old I've seen. And even these are few and far between.

There is absolutely zero 80s, let alone older stuff, out in the wild.

[carlo]

One of those 405s of the day same colour as yours!

 

I noticed the lack of old cars in France the last time I went, and that was in 1998!  I was expecting to see lots of old 204s etc but no, nothing like that at all.  Don't the French have some sort of continual scrappage scheme going on?  

[Junkman]

No, they don't, and they also have no VED. What they have, however, and you can see this everywhere, in every aspect of life, is money.

Certainly not as much money as England has, but it doesn't all belong to the same ten families, that's the difference.

[dave21478]

Pre 90 stuff is incredible rare to see and every day I see less and less pre 2000 stuff now too. Meanwhile, numbers of brand spanking (probably leased) Peugeot something oh somethings, Dacias and low spec, de-badged Audis and bimmers are massively on the rise.

[Junkman]

There is a shitload of new Audi and Mercedes pseudo SUV shit out there. Not much in terms of Bimmers, which are more prevalent in England

(BMW stands for British Motor Works, as we all know). There is a sea of other newfangled waste, but I can't tell what it is, apart from a few Renaults,

because their chrome plated badge up front is bigger than the old dealership signs were.

 

Speaking of dealerships, I have NOT seen a Citroen, Renault, or Peugeot dealership yet, with the exception of the latter corporation having at least

a small shop in Boulogne, selling their pepper mills and bicycles.

 

I'm NOT making any of this up. People familiar with my exploits can confirm, that I'm one of the best truffle pigs when it comes to chod.

[dave21478]

Round here anyway, dealerships are now all far out of town clustered together in retail zones, looking like something from the front cover of a Science Fiction novel - soaring multi-storey glass edifices full of plush carpets, mood lighting and designer coffee machines.

[Junkman]

I've seen these consume/obey/conform zones and those Disneyland meets Star Wars dealerships sure justify being papped.

However, I've not seen anything French in them. It's all German or Asian.

Well, under international law, the current status of France is that its occupied by Germany (since July 1940), so I guess that explains it.

 

What's also annoyingly popular is new white or black sporty* bloated k00p shit with a few of the accessories they are festooned with painted red or orange.

They all have black anodised alloy wheels designed to allow for bleeding the brakes without taking them off, surrounded by a thin layer of rubber.

They also all sound like farting wasps.

 

But worst of all, there hasn't been a single pair of dim yellow headlamps.

 

At least the roads are still as they always were and the French drive as they always did.

 

Oh, and the singposting is exemplary. Something the English definitely could learn from, but it would require logical thinking, so it won't happen.

[Junkman]

Anyway, I saw England today:

 

 

It made me all warm and fizzy inside and thoughts of having a beer in an English pub crossed my mind.

You have to go abroad to be reminded what a sheltered life we all live on this sweet little island.

[Junkman]

Day 6 and I went through Boulogne with a very fine comb in my restless quest to please my fellow Autoshiters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Et le 405 du jour:

 

[Skizzer]

Chapeau!

 

Great to see that 80s tat isn't entirely absent from La Belle France.  

 

I shall miss these daily updates greatly when you come home.  Thank you.

[Junkman]

80s chod is rare enough here to border absentness. Judging by the condition, most of what remains is on its last legs and will soon be gone, too.

Weirdly, this is in stark contrast to the vast array of old car magazines available even in ordinary supermarkets, which would suggest a strong interest by a wide section of the population.

 

However, I'm in a region of France where not many people live, and I still manage to provide daily updates, however dismal they might be. I'd be hard pressed to manage the same at home, which is in one of the most densely populated areas of the UK.

[dave21478]

...

But worst of all, there hasn't been a single pair of dim yellow headlamps.

 

 

 

Just for you, JM,

 

My new toy is suitably equipped....

[martc]

Day four, today was exceptionally chod yielding.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is brilliant and dire at the same time. Aimeriez-vous un tour sur le rolercoaster américaine de shite , les enfants , il est venu directement de Eurodisney ?

[Junkman]

Yeah, now I regret that I didn't pap more fairgroundshite. Fairgrounds in France are cheerfully depressing.

They should be accompanied by a travelling therapist you can see afterwards.

[Junkman]

Day 7's loot is from Dunkerque, which is a bit shit. However, this isn't reflected in the amount of shite in the streets, so the yield is meager, as usual.

 

605 alert!

 

 

 

 

 

This is positively shite zenith, though:

 

 

Et le 405 du jour:

 

[jonny69]

Can't decide what's better, the white 405 without a straight panel or that Renault 19

[Junkman]

Two 605s are two more than I ever saw in the UK.

My wantage is an overwhelming one. I bet that if one ever pops up in the Land of Eng, it will be coal powered, have an inadequate cylinder count, a stone-age gearbox and the inside will be clad with dead animals, like you do with seating furniture for the servants.

[lovejoy]

BINGOES !!!   Multiple Twingoes !!!!  par excellence

 

I just got back home to see your thread update,  Mucho Merci's, mon ami 

[Junkman]

Well, it's day 8 and unfortunately our last day in France. I will miss the red wine have never looked forward to a pint this much.

Here is today's loot:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Et le 405 du jour:

 

[Skizzer]

Oof!  505GR and a DS19 with a Magic Tree!  You have ended the trip on a high, which is surely the best way to do holidays.

 

No Renault 16 purchase, then?

[r.welfare]

I am a little sad that each and every 405 du jour is a Mk2 (aerial on the roof is the giveaway), even though I can't stand the Airfix interior of the early models.

[Junkman]

Every 405 du jour was a fight for dear life and I'm damn proud that I managed to pull it through at all.

I'm not just a little sad that France is largely deprived of chod nowadays, and I'm even sadder about how deprived of cars the automotive world has become since 1986. It's bloody hopeless.

 

Anyway, a few aftershots from tonight:

 

 

 

 

 

[Junkman]

 

No Renault 16 purchase, then?

 

Sadly this trip didn't even yield a model of an R16.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Excellent reporting skillz0rz Mr. Junk. I am off to France in a fortnight and will be on HIGH ALERT for old shit

[Junkman]

Mucho merci!

 

I hope your exploits will be crowned with greater success.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Still plenty of Twingos, looks like I'd be happy with France.

[Junkman]

Hurry up then, because each and every one I saw gave me the impression of someone who has been suffering from a lung disease for quite some time and is now spitting blood.

[stormee]

That purple Visa 2 I want!

[Junkman]

It was delightfully orange inside (as we all know, the only acceptable interior colour apart from brown) and had the most bonkers controls I've ever seen.

[stormee]

It was delightfully orange inside (as we all know, the only acceptable interior colour apart from brown) and had the most bonkers controls I've ever seen.

They are great! Had some rides in a SuperE back when they were new, Very, very soft and comfy but never scary. Nice engine noises from the 1,1 and 1,4 and they go well.