What's your scariest 'near miss' in a shite car...

[New POD]

Came over a hump back bridge in the metro turbo, took off and snapped an engine mount on landing. managed to stay on the road.

 

Came over a hump back bridge on a z500, took off, (with girl friend asleep on the back), got into a bit of a tank slapper on landing, managed to stay on the road.

 

Came over a hump back bridge on the RD350LC, took off, and then passed between 2 horses (with riders) before going off road across the verge and back onto the road.

 

Came over a hump back bridge whilst on the RD350LC with girl friend on the back, took off, and on landing saw a pheasant about 50 foot ahead, braced myself and hit said bird at 70 mph.  Girl friend NEVER awoke.

 

Came over a bridge at over a ton, to find stationary traffic, and locked my brakes (raining see) in the mk3 cavalier, managed to cadence brake and stop with 2 foot to spare.  Wife (said same lady as above) woke up at the point of brakes being locked. Children awoke.

 

Hum seems to be a pattern of sorts here.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Seeing the above tales of humps ,reminds me of nearly coming unstuck when hitting a dip at speed.

It was 02.00am and I was on my way home down B roads I knew pretty well, there was a long straight that I was used to going along at 100+ in both S3 and XJ40 Jags with no problems, however this particular night I was in a 5 year old W123 280e loaned to us by Merc dealer as a courtesy car.

Now, anyone familiar with 80's Mercs will remember how bouncy the seats were and this 280 had particularly soggy suspension. I hit a dip at very high speed the suspension bottomed out the seat launched me upwards( I didn't have my belt on) and I hit my head,hard against the roof. So hard, I saw stars, just like in a cartoon, I slowed right down ,put my belt on and cursed the feckin Germans .

I did think afterwards, that if I'd been knocked unconscious and crashed,that the next day the Police would find my body and wonder how I'd ended up going off the road on a perfectly straight stretch.

[DS20]

The first: driving up the A19, a few miles north of Stockton-on-Tees, in my old Rover 820.  Must have been about 2001.  I had to turn right off the dual carriageway (legally), into a small gap in the central reservation - from lane 2, obviously.  The man in the Mercedes behind me saw me indicate and slow down, so he slowed down too.  Unfortunately the three cars behind him didn't, and there was an awful lot of noise and broken bits of car flying around.  The casualties were the Merc CLK (shortened by about three feet), a Lexus IS200 (front and rear stoved in), an Audi A4 (front, rear, and passenger-side impacts), and a VW Golf (front impact only).  None of them were more than a year old - and my tatty old Rover was left unscathed.  The air ambulance and ALL THE POLICE turned up, and the A19 was shut for a couple of hours.  

 

The second: driving north up the M40 between Beaconsfield and Oxford, in my Saab on an unlit bit of the road in February 2013.  I was in lane 3 at 55mph, passing a lorry doing about 45mph in lane 2, with nothing in lane 1 - the weather had been appalling that day although I don't know why the lorry wasn't in lane 1 - and suddenly there was an unlit car parked across lane 3.  I thought I'd brake hardish and pull in behind the lorry - only lorry-driver not only slowed down for a bloody good look, he/she also DIDN'T MOVE INTO LANE 1, which meant that I had to brake really hard and turn sharply left to avoid hitting the car parked across lane 3.  The result was that I missed the parked car by about a foot, missed the back of the truck by about 3 feet, and span up the road coming to rest 200 yards beyond the parked car - which was a Mitsubishi Colt that had spun into the armco to the right of the carriageway all by itself - and found myself facing the wrong way.  The driver of the Colt was on the hard shoulder - and I have no idea why she hadn't left the lights on / put the hazards on after her crash.  I don't know if hitting the Colt broadside would have been fatal for me, but my first instinct which was to steer around it and into the side of the articulated trailer probably would have been.  I drove the remaining fifteen miles home VERY carefully.  

[Station]

First proper car I bought, a knackered red Escort. Coming down a road towards 'Clatterbridge Roundabout', the road bends to the left before the junction. Back end went out for no reason, spun 360 degrees and stopped on the junction facing the right direction. My two mates were as white as sheets and they said the people in the car next to me were looking as if I was meant to do that. My mate said a couple of minutes later 'I need a drink' and we drove carefully to a pub and had a brandy.

I didn't know much about the workings of cars then, but I think the shock absorbers had no gas/fluid in them and locked up as they were probably seized. It used to lock in a lean over position if you went round a corner too quickly, and quickly snap back. It was lethal.

[Matt]

Hum seems to be a pattern of sorts here.

 

What, you not learning from your mistakes? 

 

I'm boring, got a bit of under steer once in a G red Polo, that's as exciting as it's got for me (off a track).

[martc]

Came over a hump back bridge ...

 

Came over a hump back bridge ...

 

Came over a hump back bridge ...

 

Came over a hump back bridge ....

 

Came over a bridge ....

 

 

 

I came over a humpback bridge in.... Czechoslovakia whilst riding my Moto Guzzi from a supermarket back to a camp site. I was wearing a t shirt and shorts and with a rucksack full of bottles of beer on my back. I smelt the hypoid gear oil before hitting the slick deposited on the road on the far side of the bridge. I proceeded to travel sideways long enough to think "how would the folks come to visit me in hospital?" I skidded out of the slick, the bike gripped the road and I carried on my merry way past a dead tractor + agricultural machine - the rear diff of the machine having smashed open when it hit the crest of the bridge.

[Albert Ross]

January 7th 1999. 1985 Mk1 Sierra 2.0i Ghia Hatch. Towing a large trailer with Mk1 Sierra 1.6L Estate. A46 southbound from Lincoln, just past the Collingham turning. I had been travelling slowly, 35-40mph, because I had been baulked by a tractor which had turned off near Swinderby. At the point the centre line turned into white hatchings, a White Escort van overtook me, and forced me against the kerb with a selfish tuck in... the trailer wheels bounced off the verge, and it started wobbling. Lots. This is where the journey went downhill.... literally. I couldn't recover the wobble and ended up jack-knifing the whole rig, and leaving the nose of the towcar directly in the path of a Renault Magnum.. Cue a severe crunching noise, and many bent things. I climbed out, as did the Renault driver, and we cleared the road. I took the Estate off the trailer, and popped it into a layby, took the trailer and wheeled it onto the back of the Estate. I then drove the bent Ghia onto the trailer. The Police arrived 19 minutes after the first call went in... they were in Ollerton. (I was just into Notts.) We were both breathalysed at zero, and sent on our ways. I lost a good car that day...

[New POD]

What, you not learning from your mistakes? 

 

I'm boring, got a bit of under steer once in a G red Polo, that's as exciting as it's got for me (off a track).

 

 

The definition of a mistake is "Something you remember happened before, just as it starts happening again"

[catsinthewelder]

I learn from my mistakes but that doesn't make me clever.

 

Age 19, Jump moped over blind crest in Gilesgate in broad daylight in 30 limit (foolish as I can't tell whats on the other side) no ill effects.

 

Age 20, Jump Suzuki Bandit over Blind crest on NSL road,  no ill effects for me but the giffer in the mk2 Fiesta that was heading the other way looked like he was going to have a heart attack.

 

Age 23,  Jump Fiat Tipo over blind crest on single track road at 10pm,  see headlights ahead and hit the brakes while still airborn.  Land in a cloud of tyre smoke with all 4 wheels locked and skid along the road finishing up 6" in front of a stationary E30 tourer with my main beam still on.  Slowly drive away once my heartbeat dropped below 300 bpm.

 

I have learnt not to jump things on single track roads now.

 

Age 26

 

Late for work and bored with waiting to turn right onto trunk road I convince myself that if I pull out quickly behind the Artic that is coming from the right then I'll have plenty of time to get my 205 diesel up to speed before the lorry that is some way to my left reachs the junction.  Unfortunately that lorry was doing 60+ and would have flattened me if the driver hadn't been really on the ball and I hadn't dived into a bus stop.

 

That one taught me to finally stop driving like a twat.

[Junkman]

I never had a near miss in any car, because I'm not a stupid pillock and half as stupid as I look.

Apart from my exploits in motorsports that is, where I had many deliberate "near misses" and the odd not so deliberate one.

 

I take issue with the term "near miss".

Which is nonsense. In non-pc speak, it's "nearly had a crash", which means in road traffic terms, you didn't know what you were doing.

 

Near miss. My arse.

 

If you didn't have a near miss like Junior Dugong had with that terminally shite 7-litre Galaxie, you haven't had a near miss, dig?

[burraston2006]

Not so much of a near miss but still a touching cloth moment. I was barreling down the A303 in the bx. As it happens not too fast, approaching a roundabout when the hydaspastics decided to shit themselves. Coming up to said roundabout at 80 with no steering/suspension or BRAKES was scary as fuxk! Luckily it was 05.30 so there was nothing else about and I nursemaided it to the local garage. Every time I get in it now I still wonder if it'll happen again. The car has down the typical french thing and lost my trust completely! Does anybody want to buy it?!!

[Skoze]

Capri is (well, was) a magnet for near misses with everything from kerbs to lorries to oncoming Golf R32s. 

 

Friend* of mine also had quite a mishap in a Land Rover a lot of years a go, ended up coming to an abrupt halt from about 40-50mph and very nearly rolling it, saved by sheer luck and a full tank of fuel + driver on the high side. 

[martc]

I was in the middle lane of the M1 overtaking a line of lorries in a fully loaded 2CV.. The pedal is connected to a rod - which at this point gave a Gallic shrug and disconnected.

 

There was an immediate loss of power...

 

 

So many it's hard to choose one or two!

 

a Citroen 2CV that was held together with gaffer tape and spit and the roof was more tape than roof. The bow wave of wind from his cab hit the little Citroen and ripped the roof straight back! It wasn't held all that well but to choose that precise moment for the gaffer tape to lose stickchion was most inconvenient....

 

my 2CV... Needless to say the wind caught it and the bar flipped over and smacked me on the head while then ripping the roof straight off leaving it trailing behind me... It then started raining, heavily and this continued all the way back to Leicester...

 

 

 

I spot a trend...

 

Citroen - trying to kill people since 1919

[cort1977]

 

 

 

I spot a trend...

 

Citroen - trying to kill people since 1919

 

And yet they are so appealing with their grumpy Frenchness.

[D Spares & Tyres]

I had snapped hydraulic belt on a BX - no brakes, suspension or powersteering....

 

 

I nearly stuffed a BX Gti in my youth by trying to handbrake turn it..... How was I to know it would be on the front???

[saucedoctor]

Ignition coil failure on my mark 4 Escort 1.6, while on the outside lane of the M5 Belfast bound was pretty scary.

 

Trumped by the Rover 25 throttle body jamming wide open on the Westlink at rush hour. Not really Shite-qualifying as the car was fairly new at the time, but FUUUUUCCCCCCK!!!!

 

The Westlink looks like this:

 

 

That BFO concrete divider was rushing towards me at great speed.