BMW 318iS OMG SPEARTS OR REAPEIRS COLLECTED AA WRONGNESS. EBAY! BREAKDOWNS!! TRAINS!!

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Well, with four old BMW's, I felt that there was room in my life for just one more. JUST one more.

 

Ebay threw up this candidate - excuse the picture but Billy has set the bar for rubbish pics and I had to meet this minimum requirement.

 

1994 318iS in metallic blue. With black leather. Had a 'knock' from the engine but ran and drove. Only 50 miles from me and when my meagre £100 online vouchsafe secured the merchandise, I set off.

 

5.30pm NO PICTURES! Taxi to Sheffield station of trains. £10.70 to Pontefract.

 

5.50pm NO PICTURES! Boarded train to Pontefracture.

 

6.50pm NO PICTURES! Got off train at Pontinsfraction. Geezer met me at station in a BEDFORD RASCAL.

 

7.00pm NO...oh fuck it. Handed over dollars. Nice bloke selling it, no dramas.

 

7.01pm. Fired it up and it sounded like four hammer wielding Yorkshiremen beating seven shades out of the block. Oh dear. Still - £100, leather.

 

7.30pm. Got 2 miles and decided this is a BAD IDEA. Pulled into The Durrington Pub in Durrington near Pontificatingfract. Call AA. "Don't send a Van love, it's FUCKED!

 

10.30pm. Having consumed a massive burger and a pile of chips as well as a couple of Stellas, I ring the AA to enquire as to where this fucking truck is.

 

11pm. Truck arrives. Loads up, gets 4 miles down the A1, gets a call from his boss (Not AA) and turns round, dumping car back in pub car park. WTAF????

 

12pm. Kicking out time at the pub. They've been really great - phone charged up, another Stella. A proper AA truck arrives. Strap up, set off. But........,

 

12.45 am. ......the driver is on a tacho and has to offload the car at Woodall Services on the M1. It's fucking cold now. Ring AA. Could be 3am before next truck.

 

2.40am. Second (or third) truck arrives. Load up, back to my garage for 3.30, unload it. Get into a working car, home for 4.20 am, fall into bed and expire.

 

 

Apparently, the AA were 'very busy tonight'.  EIGHT BASTARD HOURS TO GET 50 MILES!!

 

But, a wee photo from Woodall Services where I enjoyed the WH Smith library.

 

Oh, the car. The engine is wanked but the shell is amazingly good. Arches and wings all fine, sills lovely. Leather already sold for one hundred pounds - it's going to be by next track slag.

[barefoot]

Note to self. Join the RAC! They can't be any worse than that.

[hairnet]

note to self for 50 miles get friend to take you bring tow pole in case of above - job jobbed

[trigger]

I think the RAC is even worse. I'm with Green Flag I think and they have been good each time I've broken down (Admittedly it's only been 3 times).

[wuvvum]

Yep, RAC much worse than AA in my experience.

[oldcars]

I like this, buy a car, "breakdown" at pub, have to wait and have a few beers, lift home, sell bits of car for money. Sounds like a spot on night out, free car, some beer and a lift up the road.

[Cavcraft]

The AA are absolute dog wank, I'm afraid, and all that 'relay' nonse is a nightmare. I had the RAC out yesterday evening, they arrived before the ETA of 45 minutes and he did his best to repair the car and was a very helpful and knowledegable fella.

[wuvvum]

The RAC are absolute dog wank, I'm afraid, and all that 'relay' nonsense is a nightmare. I had the AA out last month, they arrived before the ETA of 45 minutes and he repaired the car enough to get me the 110 miles home and was a very helpful and knowledegable fella.

[HillmanImp]

They are probably all wank, not paying their staff enough and cutting down on 'overheads' to keep the shareholders happy at the sacrifice of their customers.

 

Car can't be bad for £100. Could probably weigh it in for more. However you won't get your 8 hours back so I think you are still down on the deal.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

However you won't get your 8 hours back so I think you are still down on the deal.

 

The 8 hours weren't all bad. It was an evening out and sitting in the thing in the services I had to laugh at the whole sorry episode. A Man of my age fucking about with 100 quid shitters. 

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Well, I've just fired off an email to Arseholes Anonymous moaning about Paragon Recovery pulling the shitty 'pick it up - put it back' bag of tricks. Not funny at 11pm.

[trigger]

On the subject of the AA, it seems potatoes are now the fix of choice for the repair men when a condenser fails on a Land Rover.

 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/aa-mechanic-fixes-car-potato-5193266?ICID=FB_mirror_main

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

That's nothing. I always keep a box of Fererro Rocher chocs in the glovebox for OMG HGF issues.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

AAA UPDATE:

 

After some very low level moaning (one email expressing mild - medium dissatisfaction) the AA have sent me a cheque for FORTY QUID!

 

So. The engine has been swapped for my good one and it runs nice. Sold the head from the old one for £135 and the black leathers for £120 fitted. Looks like this could be the cheapest track slag ever.