Shitely request - Lancia HPE Doncaster to Oxon - NOW a sort of rubbish collection thread

[Guest Breadvan72]

Anyone who is trailered up fancy a cash money gig?  I may have found a donor car for my HPE, but it's in Yorkshirelandshire Land, 130 miles from me.  I live near junction 5 of the M40.  I haven't bought the heap, yet, but I probably will do if I can locate transport at a reasonable rate.

 

Thanks for any offers.

[beko1987]

Happy to help push it off the trailer when you get it home G! If it'll fit in the boot of the XM we could drive up?

 

If only you had a range rover and access to a trailer for a few hours... Red would be an excellent colour for a range rover...

[scruff]

HELO SUNBLESTVAN62 I AM BIG FANN OF UR POSTZ & WUD LUV 2 SHIFT A BETA AGAINn. 4 A SHITTER I HAV SPEZIEL R8S. BTW CAN I DRIVE UR SRS 3 LOL

 

(I will send you a PM)

[Guest Breadvan72]

Thanks yuh all y'all.

 

If we leave it in the rain for a bit it should fit in the XM's ashtray, never mind the boot. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

PS - course you can drive my series 3,  if you can get the badgers out of the back.

[beko1987]

Nodding parcel shelf dogs too mainstream for you?

[willswitchengage]

Doing that journey in four weeks, but no trailer. Damn!

[Guest Breadvan72]

I haz done buyed the heap for spares bummage.  The Hon Scruff Esq is on da case. 

[Skizzer]

Is that the grey one in Doncaster? Shrewd move.

 

Edited to add: ah, thread title suggests yes. DUH.

[Albert Ross]

I can help push it onto the recovery drone.... if he wants me too. Keep me in the loop "scruff" mate, I might actually be available!!! You might even get the lottery ticket you wanted.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Yes, that's the one.  Could save me a fortune on shopping for bits at Betaboyz.    If the car is better than I expect, then maybe I won't totally bum it to death, but for the time being the plan is to shove it in a corner under a cover.  If I get the Volumex resprayed, the gunmetal grey is a contender for the new colour, as I am not sure that red is the best colour for an HPE, although it suits a Spyder or Coupe. 

 

Someone here should buy that blue one as a runner!   It needs cherishing.

[Guest Breadvan72]

As we speak, the intrepid scruff is somewhere in the wilds of Yorkshireistan, collecting some mouldy bit of Italian Chod with his deluxe Fannytail Shitewagon.  I hope that they have invented roads and stuff up there, but in any event scruff is reputed a man of wit and resource, and I am confident that he will survive.  Whether the car will make it to Oxon without shaking itself to bits on the back of the wagon is another thing altogether. 

[beko1987]

Mini Oxon meet later to sweep bits of lancia off your drive?

[eddyramrod]

I can vouch for the fact that Yorrickshire does in fact have roads, despite some of it being where KruJoe lives and therefore 22 miles off of every known map.  I visited recently and escaped with not only my life, but also a red sports-type car.  So, it is possible.  I hope Scruff took a native guide along as interpreter...

[Guest Breadvan72]

Alas, not today, as I am up that Lunnun poncing it about and won't be back in Grockleshire until tomorrow, but swing by at the weekend to point and laugh if you like.  

 

I used a newly available paypal service to wire scruff some brightly coloured beads to barter with the Yorklanders in case he has to encounter any.  

[beko1987]

Tempting! Will see if I'm allowed out to play (think I'll need to do a tip run sunday so there could be a queue at the dump or something... and I'll just tip my grass diggings into someones compost heap...)

[Guest Breadvan72]

Da scruff has done da biz!  I am not home to see this wonder of Italianate automotive genius in the actual ferrous oxide flesh, but my wife has eyeballed the heap from a distance (she is poorly and not going outside) and says that she likes the colour and as totally fooked wrecks go it looks not that bad.  Scruff says it is quite rusty but not that bad by the admittedly dire and disgraceful standards of this forum.  He had some merry japes with its on and off and on again brakes, apparently. Photo to follow tomorrow or Saturday, if I can be arsed.

[scruff]

I have returned from the land of whippets via the yummy mummy infested badlands of rural Oxbuckfordshiringham. 

 

The beast in all it's "glory"...

 

 

Arrived at the cunningly hidden BV Towers without drama, although I did scrape some of the County Council's finest off the road as I pulled onto the drive - that's quite a slope!

 

 

The brakes were stuck on, which wasn't a problem loading up, but a bit of a ballache getting off and even more so as the wagon was facing downhill. I rigged up the snatch block on the back of the bed, with the hook on the front towing point of the Beta to drag it backwards. Worked a treat... then the brakes freed off, and as I went for the brake pedal my soaked boot slipped and we shot backwards on the slack of the winch rope until it caught up, thankfully avoiding murdering Mrs_Breadvan's 206 

 

Of course hitting the brake pedal caused the brakes to stick on again. In order to plonk it in BV's preferred spot, the arse end needed to go across and it needed to go backwards, uphill.

 

After making sure I wasn't going to pull the fence down, I fixed the snatch block to a sturdy post and the Lancia was soon in place.

 

 

Many thanks for the extra gift BV, and the Landy is very nice.

 

[Albert Ross]

You said snatch.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Many thanks again, scruff.  Mark at Betaboyz tells me that the IE is rarer than the Volumex, no doubt hoping to encourage me to save the car if it can be saved, but I am not sure.  I will kick the tyres and ponder over the weekend. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Having now had a good poke and prod, the IE looks like a tall order to save, as it has rusted badly in many important areas, but there is still plenty of good metal that could be used for the Volumex if needed, and the car has two inner wings and one outer wing inside the passenger compartment.  There is lots of usable trim, a good headlining, all the clocks etc, and the engine bay looks to be complete.  I will hook up a battery later and see if the car will run.

[320touring]

 I will hook up a battery later and see if the car will run.

I'll look out for the WIFE FOR SALE post due to

 

OMGHAZTOSAEVDISWONitis

[Guest Breadvan72]

That could just happen!  I checked the oil level, put the jump leads on, and, guess what - starts up and runs smooth as a smooth thing.  Oil pressure a bit low, but ticks over very pleasantly.

 

Some photos, beginning with  "una Italiana deve aiutare un connazionale"...


 

[Guest Breadvan72]

I could also post some close ups of the rust, but I don't want to put anyone off their dinner.  Here's the enginey bit:-

 

 

 

[320touring]

oh dear...

[Guest Breadvan72]

The rear winsdcreen motor is definitely getting bummed off the IE, as the one on the Volumex is iffy. 

[320touring]

The rear winsdcreen motor is definitely getting bummed off the IE, as the on the Volumex is iffy. 

Surely with superchargeru you

dont need to see where you've been?

 

Re the IE- looks better than Vulgs Orangemeister, so "save it boyo!"