OLLI - I can haz old Landy - Staying for another winter

[beko1987]

Oh and posh, you ever been to the Kings? They try to be reet posh don't they. 

 

I remember there was a wedding one saturday morning, the same morning I changed the missus brake pads in the car park. Apparently they had to move the photographs around because I was in shot. Apparently an oily, dishevelled oik drinking a beer and smoking a 'rolly' wasn't the look they were after. Stuck up bastards. The wedding car nearly squashed my can of coppaslip too, thay would have made a right mess of their car park

[Shep Shepherd]

I like that. A lot

[Sloth in a bowl]

Is the old British sports car in the garage a Marcos?

[Guest Breadvan72]

I will have a look next time I fancy paying 200 quid a jug for petrol!

 

As for the King's . I bodge-fixed the rear lights on my Jensen in the car park one Sunday morning last year, using tinfoil for lecky connections.  It was early doors and the punters and guests were still sleeping off the wedding from the night before.  

 

One day last year there was a wedding there using a Monster Truck as the wedding vehicle.  Very classy.    Watching lots of pink faced chav dads and uncles squeezed into tasteless, ill fitting rented morning suits and cravats was most rewarding, and as for the 30 stone bride and her bridesmaids (I use the term "maid" in 20 foot high inverted commas), their dresses did not appear to be couture by Lagerfeld.   That wedding went off without police being called to the premises, apparently, so a result.

 

Just over the border here in Oxon the place is swarming with poshoes, horses, poshoes on horses, poshoes that look like horses, horses, and poshoes, but the proximity of Stokey helps to keep it real knowarrimsayin brah?

[Guest Breadvan72]

PS:   if that seems a  tad  harsh, to soften it try this from that soppy old perv P Larkin.  One of his most fabby poems:

 

http://www.poetryarchive.org/poetryarchive/singlePoem.do?poemId=7108

[Guest Breadvan72]

Today I decided to impress my daughter with my WKD OVROAD SKLLZ BRAH and hooned off along a local farm track right at the bottom of a hill, that is acting as a sump for all the rainwater (it has apparently rained a bit recently, who knew?)  This amazingly sensible plan was given added panache by the fact that the Landy was loaded up with a spare gearbox and a load of other assorted tat, some of it a bit heavy. 

I promptly got stuck in a very boggy and rutty bit of the track. It then started to bucket down, to add to the fun. Much wheel spinning, mud flinging and getting all steamed up later, I remembered the 4x4 training I did years ago and GTFO using low revs, high gear and much slooooooownesss. My daughter preserved her sang froid throughout the adventure, but she is used to her daddy being a bit of a knob. 

At one point I  convinced myself that one of the freewheeling hubs was stuck in the 2WD position and I could be seen hitting it with a metal bar to free it.  Dial F for Fuckwit.

I forgot to take a photo of the Landy when it was stuck. Off to the jet wash afterwards and removed approx 14 metric shit-tonnes of congealed mud from the wheel arches.  


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNybnRkj-MY

 

PS:  Mrs BV likes the Landy and came to the pub in it later, so, phew.  

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Your stuckedness should be seen as Karma , it's a reward for spoiling my supper with a photographic reminder rubbing in the fact I don't have either a yuppie shiny Series or even a Rusty Red Rangey!

[scruff]

Yuppy Series... love it.

 

Looks real nice. Who's your local 4x4 bloke?

[Guest Breadvan72]

Ian at FW 4x4, Watlington.

[Guest Breadvan72]

I have had two old Landies before.  Each one was a diesel and each one was rougher than a badger's arse.  They had crap engines, crap gearboxes, crap springs, and were generally crap.  This petrol one is a revelation.  It's actually quite pleasant to drive.  The engine is almost smooth, the gearchange almost precise, and everything on it works- lights, heater, etc.     It leaks, of course, and shakes, rattles and rolls, but its's a bit ace.  It has slightly more roady and less knobbly tyres than my old ones, so goes quite well on tarmac, and even stops, after a fashion, so long as you plan ahead a week or two.

 

If it had a Fairey Overdrive, you could even go somewhere in it, but they are going for about 400 to 600 on eBay at the moment.  

[Albert Ross]

Don't diss the diesels....

[Guest Breadvan72]

You should have seen my two diesels.   Except you couldn't, because of all the smoke.  

[Gerald]

Breadvan72, this time tomorrow:

 

landrover.jpg

That just made me choke on my carrot laughing!

 

Looks like a tidy siii though, petrols are sewing machine smooth compared to the 2 1/4 denzil.

[Guest Breadvan72]

I can haz Old Landy pleeze do not die stuff.  Note also high tech rear hatch support system.

 

[Rocket88]

On most Land Rovers, Waxoyl is "structural"

[Guest Breadvan72]

Things wrong with old Landy:  driver's door does not always stay latched.  Auxiliary dials not wired in.   Roof leaks a bit.  Otherwise,  not much!  Starts from cold with a bit of choke.  Goes  well.  Stops eventually.  Some rusty bits need painting.   

[Rocket88]

I hope it wanders all over the road, with corrective steering inputs that could be measured in yards.............

[Guest Breadvan72]

You betcha.  It is like being in the driving scene in an old movie.

[320touring]

You appear to be missing a catering sized pack of 'landrover chassis repair paste"

 

Aka chodclag

[Guest Breadvan72]

Me Landyshed actually has quite a good gearbox (by 1950s/60s bag o spanners standards), plus a whole spare one that came with, but I still think that this is FOONY -

 

[drum]

When I put a new half chassis on the swb, I left the floor easily removable so I can access the top of the chassi rails. I gave it a power wash last weekend and clearly the chassis needs painted again.

[beko1987]

Thats a great idea! Lift it out on a hot sunny day and boom - air con!

[Guest Breadvan72]

I like that very correct blue colour.  My previous Landy was blue when new, but had been brush painted in sand and green by some bloke.  The blue was still visible inside it, along with all the hay and cowshit (it had been a farm wagon),

 

I probably saw all of these heaps when they were new, awaiting delivery in the big yards outside the factory when I was on my way to play footy in Elmdon Park, Solihull as a kid.    

[Guest Breadvan72]

Thats a great idea! Lift it out on a hot sunny day and boom - air con!

 

Old Landies have ace aircon  - the front vents really work, and because the glass is all vertical or nearly so the sheds don't get very hot when parked up in the sun.    I had a safari roof on my last one, but I did not notice much difference between that and a boggo roof.  It just looked cool to Landy twerbs such as me.

 

Last night I drove a 2013 Defender SWB diesel belonging to a friend.  Pretty good, and definitely still Landylike in many ways.  There is a 1990 Defender for sale at the local pub, but the dude is asking £4000 for it.  

 

Also a 1980s Scirocco for a bag, if anyone is interested.    Bronze with beige/brown interior.  1.6 single carby job, I think.  Steelies.

[beko1987]

I nearly had a S3 Pickup with a fuck off massive harvey frost winch on it. Luckily (because it was fucked) I'd sold it for spares before passing my test.

 

I keep promising myself to get one one day, but lack of spannering space puts paid to that!

[scruff]

Mine's not got front vents.   Need a military spec windskreen to get one.

 

I see you've been taking hints from Albert Ross and carry a spare transmission, just in case! 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Is the old British sports car in the garage a Marcos?

 

 

I have made enquiries and found that it's a kit car based on an old Escort chassis, with a Bazzockified Crossflow in it, and phat tyres.  Said to be somewhat challenging in the dry, and spinny-explodey-crashy-deathy in the wet.  Lacks a screen at present, and has been there for ages.    The white Porsche belongs to the bloke who owns the garage and has been an ongoing never to be completed project since 1848.

[drum]

I like that very correct blue colour.  My previous Landy was blue when new, but had been brush painted in sand and green by some bloke.  The blue was still visible inside it, along with all the hay and cowshit (it had been a farm wagon),

 

I probably saw all of these heaps when they were new, awaiting delivery in the big yards outside the factory when I was on my way to play footy in Elmdon Park, Solihull as a kid.

 

This one is marine blue. I painted the inside with a roller a couple of years ago, but that's all scraped due to the general abuse land rovers are supposed to get.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Unlike most cars, Landies have not grown bloated over the years, as even a brand new one is not much bigger than a 1976 one (although the new one usually stands taller as it has hewarge tyres).  Here is  me 1976 with a 1990 Defender, for sale locally but for 4K, 'kinnell.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Soz for crarp focus on that one.  this is better, and has bonus Fordshite.