Autoshite cliches, myths and old wives tales...

[Junkman]

A 1.6 in a car the size of a Mini should have been a great combination

 

You mean the 1959 Mini?

Because an adequate engine for a hefty barge like the 'new' Mini would be a 3.0 V6.

[af1]

Coming home and saying "I bought a *insert shite here* and it's on the drive"

Will make your mrs proper moist and you will be getting laid that night

 

 

Sent from my Ericsson GH337 using WAP

[sierraman]

Myth: You cannot go wrong with a 10 year old common rail diesel, they will run forever on fumes. Laughing all the way to the bank, but probably not back when the dawn of replacing 4 injectors/turbo/dpf/fuel pump/dmf occurs.

[Taff]

This thread reminds me of a guy I used to work with. He was known as Urko, as he had more than a passing resemblance to the character on Planet Of The Apes. Real name was Stuart.

He came up with some real corkers.

 

A Rover V8 uses so much petrol that if you leave it ticking over at the petrol pump you can only just put enough in to keep it running as it uses petrol faster than you can put it in.

 

If you got a drink driving ban, it only banned you from driving in the town where you got pulled over.

 

If you want a Personal Number Plate all you have to do is get one made up at the local motor factors then just put it on your car.

 

A Marina would do 60 in reverse as the reverse gear had no synchromesh.

 

Eating earthworms made you invincible and prolonged your life. ( Not car related )

 

If you are lying in some mud and get run over by a tank you will survive.

 

If you are attacked by a shark just hit it on the nose.....

 

Was a total goon.... Wonder what happened to him?

 

my bold. Now, while I agree that he sounds like a proper facebook mouth breather, the tank/mud thing has some truth to it. It's based on the pounds per quare inch thing of each track pad which, on the CVR(T) light armoured vehicle (not technically a tank but tank-like enough in appearance) has a track-pad ground pressure of just 9lbs per square inch. so, in theory, you could lie on the floor and have it drive over you. In practice, and with 16 years spannering on them, I've never met anyone daft enough to put their money where their mouth is

[scooters]

Jaguar most cetainly did change their name from SS to Jaguar post WW2. I have a good friend in edinburgh who owns an SS 'jaguar' a 1939 SS 1700cc. wonderful car.

 

The big problem Lyons had was that the logo they used looks remarkably like the logo used by another organisation that was founded in Munich in the 1920s which had a PR issue by 1945.

 

It's quite rare to still see 'jags' with the SS badge from the period as, understandably, as owners dusted them off after petrol rationing had lifted, they suddenly realised that their Uncle Bertie's roadster had a badge that dad recognised from the battlefield!

 

I've got some pics of this car somewhere, I'll dig them out

[scooters]

- one of my ex employees said when he was still an employee..

 

"but boss, it's ok to put red diesel in the van because its a commercial vehicle, I've been doing it for months"

 

last thing he said whilst still working for me

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Jaguar most cetainly did change their name from SS to Jaguar post WW2. I have a good friend in edinburgh who owns an SS 'jaguar' a 1939 SS 1700cc. wonderful car.

 

The big problem Lyons had was that the logo they used looks remarkably like the logo used by another organisation that was founded in Munich in the 1920s which had a PR issue by 1945.

 

It's quite rare to still see 'jags' with the SS badge from the period as, understandably, as ow.ners dusted them off after petrol rationing had lifted, they suddenly realised that their Uncle Bertie's roadster had a badge that dad recognised from the battlefield!

I've got some pics of this car somewhere, I'll dig them out

My grandmother was a volunteer driver in Birmingham and Coventry during WW2, her duties were mostly taking members of The Forces who's families had been killed or injured by bombing from stations to hospitals,crematoriums etc . She said that in 3 years only one soldier mentioned the Wafen SS and the fact she drove an SS Jaguar 2.5,apparently it was only after the war people were more aware of the SS.

[minolman]

Most, but of course not all, of the "PR Problem" relating to the SS, was almost every other branch of that service except the Waffen SS, who were the combat troops. Or is that a myth too?

[stilo_active]

Every car posted on Autoshite gets sold within four days...

[minolman]

Every car posted on Autoshite gets sold within four days...

I plan to put this to the test lol

[plasticvandan]

All autoshite members are skillful in selecting reliable,well looked after cars,carefully prioritise what work needed is most important,spend their money wisely,fix the faults rather than the symptoms,and always make a profit when the time comes to sell.

[scooters]

Most, but of course not all, of the "PR Problem" relating to the SS, was almost every other branch of that service except the Waffen SS, who were the combat troops. Or is that a myth too?

myth - not as simple as that

 

whilst the waffen SS were 'combat troops' they were also fanatics and comitted some pretty nasty crimes during the war including the summary execution of British POWS on the battlefield, the crushing of the Warsaw Ghetto and many others - the Reichswehr (regular army) don't come out of the conflict smelling of roses either with several units, those commanded by fanatical nazi commanders committing atrocities and being complicit in terrorising and murdering civilians. For every von Stauffenberg there was a Runstedt (c in c of the army) who issued general orders endorsing the murder of Russian pows, jews etc. by regular troops. Courageous individuals and units did their best to resist or ignore these orders but those politically motivated were a rum lot. 

 

Very accurate - the civilians didn't understand how the SS and its various functions or what they did. High profile images of Belsen camp and the Wormhoudt massacre, of 80 British POWs in 1940 by the 1st Waffen SS division division after the war began to fill in the blanks - a no brainer for Jaguar -

 

as my late grandfather who fought the buggers used to say - the SS were an 'absolute shower' and 'bloody gangsters'

 

anyway - off topic lets get back to the shite

[New POD]

A 1.6 in a car the size of a Mini should have been a great combination but the engine was definitely, definitely the weakest bit of the Mini. It produced 90bhp which for a (newly designed) 1.6 was rubbish. Bear in mind before our Mini Won we had a Polo 16v with a 1.4 engine and 100bhp, and a bubbly Rover 200 with a 1.4 that did 103bhp. Both these engines were fab and surprisingly perky.

The Mini engine was flat and dull, and didn't like being revved. I had a go of a Cooper too, and despite having an extra 25bhp there was very little difference. It's almost like they designed the engine to replicate the least endearing characteristics of the A series and succeeded magnificently. I reckon that engine was bad enough that without the great handling and TLC servicing package the Mini might have bombed. BMW were right to dump it at the first opportunity.

 

 

It was used in the PT Cruiser too.

 

 

Seriously ? I bought my wife a 2001 Oxford built cooper, and I reckon the power delivery of the 115 BHP is really nice. It's a bit flat below 4000, but from 5000 to the red line It's bloody brilliant.  (A bit like a 1275 93 Bhp Metro turdo really)

[sierraman]

You can seal a leaky cooling system with an egg...

 

Replace a aux belt with some tights - try that with a modern car with air con

 

Cure a slipping clutch with coca cola...

[Lankytim]

A piece of lead in the fuel tank replicates leaded fuel when unleaded is added. Also see those shitty bags of lead pellets "improved fuel economy, stops valve seat wear" e.t.c

 

Not sure if anybody actually believes this nowadays mind.

[Doctormop]

Sorry if this has been posted already, haven't read the last few pages but 'SS' of pre Jaguar days stood for 'Swallow Sidecars' as  the company originally made, Sidecars.

 Originally based in Blackpool Sir Bill had the good sense to get away from the land of Donkeys and Kiss me quick hats when things started going well, the one thing I have in common with him!

[mercrocker]

I have a letter from E W Rankin, PRO of Jaguar Cars (dated 27th August 1958)  that states SS stood for Swallow Sports in the context  of the car name.   The company itself was indeed formed as Swallow Sidecars in 1922....

[Alusilber]

Sorry, couldn't resist picking up on one of the myths at the start of the thread... the 924 engine actually originally appeared in the Audi 100 (C2 generation) as the EA831, in carburetted form. Then it was converted to K-Jetronic for an extra 10bhp in the 924. The version in the LT van was derated to 75 bhp. Other versions of the engine ended up, improbably, in various AMC models in the states, including the Gremlin.