Shitefest 2013 including Autoshite OVROAD Mongfest 13-15 September

[KruJoe]

Beer o'clock = 1:30pm, right?

[gdhaydock]

Beer o'clock = 1:30pm, right?

 

Nah, 11.30am, wonder if John's bringing a box o' cider

[KruJoe]

*shudder* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[John F]

I've just had a chat with Joe... there'll be an itinerary & facilities update coming along soon, i.e. within the next day or two.

 

This will cover (or recap on) the following:

 

1. Directions to Malham

2. Local facilities

3. Eating & drinking

4. Off-roading

5. Target sports

6. What you need to bring

 

So watch this space

[KruJoe]

John, you've got mail...

[dollywobbler]

Good stuff. Let's not go too crazy on lanes. If it's good stuff, I'll come back some other time for a proper session! I'd be much happier doing it on the Saturday as I won't be driving many miles home that day.

[skattrd]

I think doing the majority of the ovroad stuff on Saturday also makes sense for the reasons previously mentioned ...

Long drive home for some people afterwards, plus time to hammer motors back together afterwards.

Plus those of us not doing the ovroad bit could turn up a bit later on the Saturday after a side trip to Lancaster to pick-up a replacement bumper for a Daihatsu.

[John F]

Yep... it's intended more as a taster green laning session than ultra-hardcore off-roading with RIGAR BOOTS and WINCHS*.

 

Zippy will no doubt go through the details of the laning side of things over the next few days.

 

Joe: replied to your email... you might as well post the update, Zippy can add anything else as a separate comment.

[KruJoe]

Right folks, it has been a busy afternoon, but we're pulling things together. Your organisers:

JohnF (camping setup, field activities / target sports, brew-up facilities)
KruJoe (All things Malhamdale; preservation of the field, garbage, signage, toiletage, showerage.)
GDHaydock(Zippy) (The off road bit - routes etc.)
 

THE PLANZ:

FRI
arrival and setup as soon as you like
chin-wagging
pub dinner (The Buck Inn)
lolz

SAT
brews
Showers if reqd.
8.30am FULL breakfast at YHA (£5) or a cafe if you're late
hangover recovery
11.00am depart for THE LANES
Meet up for lunch at Linton (TBC) or collect sandwiches from there
Fix Olga for the nth time
Continue on Zippy's route
Back at the field 5pm ish?
Brews/showers/ales/replace Land Rover axle
7.30ish: dinner - option of curry, fish & chips, etc. in the nearby town of Settle, good choice of establishments. Please let us know your preference (and numbers, if you’re bringing others) so we can book a table if req’d.
Evening on the field with megalols
Watch Joe drink industrial quantities of Black Rat cider and forget who he is / where he lives.
^oi! Who edited that bit in?!

SUN
Brews
Showers if reqd
Brekky as before
Chod-bothering
Field activities
Pub lunch, preferably in Malham
Final remedial work to vehicles for the ride home
Brews
Pack up and depart - no set time, stay as long as you want!

MON
I'll return to check the field, remove markers, signs etc. Also, apologise to the locals.
I'll clean the shower facilities - keep it as clean as possible ya buggers.
Share your pics and lols!


To reply to John's earlier post...

1. Directions to Malham
Google 'Malham', click maps, click directions

2. Local facilities
Malham has:
Extremely clean National Trust public toilets (one field away)
pubs x2
cafes
gift shops
YHA
brilliant walking/mtbiking and scenery
Malham has not:
Chavs and scumbags
Fuel station
Cash machine
General store or supermarket
Owt else not mentioned above.

3. Eating & drinking
Meals will be along the lines outlined above, not catered on the field. Brews will be available while we're there, if you want to be nice, please bring cake (pre-portioned) or snacks to share!

4. Off-roading
Saturday, most of the afternoon, being sorted by Zippy.
Those without 4x4s can either ride along in empty seats on offroad day, laze about on the field, do target sports, go for a walk / bike ride, whatevz.

5. Target sports
Archery, crossbows, air rifles and throwing axes will be on site & available for informal use all weekend, whenever instructors / supervisors are present. Sensibly. If rather unadventurously, kit will be packed away each evening before serious beers happen. The target sports gubbins is provided free of charge but we’ll have a collection jar for the Yorkshire Air Ambulance (http://www.yorkshireairambulance.org.uk/) so feel free to donate. All good fun 'til someone loses an eye, please heed precautions. Lost eyes can be reclaimed from Reception at the end of each day.

6. What you need to bring
Mug and spoon and method of cleaning (we don't want loads of paper cups etc to get rid of)
Any other beverage receptacle you might want
loose coins for propane/milk donations
BYO drinks for the evening/s
BYO biscuits / cake / snacks
Camping gear
Car gear
Stuff to sell / swap / share

COSTS
£5 per car suggested donation for the weekend on the field
£2 donation each time for shower to cover heating water and cleaning
£10(?) Fri pub dinner 
£5 x 2 FULL breakfast
£5(?) Sat lunch
£7(?) Sun lunch
£5-15 Sat dinner (fish+chips/chineseTA/Indian rest.)
£5 donation (suggested) for target sports if you decide to have a go
Loose change for butane / milk donations 

So that's about £60 if you're here the full time from Friday pm to Sunday pm. Plus your pez/beer/snackage.

It sounds a lot but that's a whole lot of fun for the price of a B+B room.

NOTES
If you're off-roading please tank up in Keighley or wherever as you approach the area. There's very little fuel for sale around here, even less if you want it cheap.

I'll provide a wheelie bin for recycling of cans, glass and plastic bottles, and a bin for other waste. We can dispose of a reasonable amount in a local dumpster in the village. There's no reason we'd create much rubbish anyway.
 
I'll sort out ashtrays for the smokers - I don't want to hand back the field to Mr.P's sheep with dog-ends etc in the grass. It goes without saying 'don't litter'.

Also, let's not tear up the turf more than necessary. There's some soft ground at the bottom of the field we'll stay away from.

Water for drinking, hand/cup washing will be available but has to be carried over from the National Trust toilets, so use sparingly. Or you’ll have to fetch the next batch.

I will provide tea towels etc. 

Let's play nice and have fun!

[dollywobbler]

Brilliant. I'm a fussy sod with food, so a chippy is far more desirable than a curry house (yes, a Brummie lad who hates curries!)

 

I'm probably going to have to work on Friday until about 2pm, so will be struggling to beat the rush hour now. Hope to be with you by 7pm.

[gdhaydock]

Right - List of lanes below

 

 

1. Drive from Malham towards langcliffe and take a short lane to Stainforth
2. Drive to Helwith Bridge, take a longish interesting lane over the side of Pen-y-gent shoulder.
3. Short road section then another lane over Darnbrook fell dropping into Littondale
4. Longish road section down Littondale, up wharfedale via Buckden leading to a lane over Stake Moss towards Stalling Busk.
5. Interesting rocky lane with a couple of fords, heading toward Marsett
6. Road section toward Bainbridge
7. Another lane over Cam High Road (Roman road) which comes out near the summit of Fleet Moss

Sandwiches - suggest slight deviation after step 3 above to drive to Grassington to collect sandwiches.

 

Optional – Rocky lane which goes over boulders and drops into Hawes – I’ll have to have a look at peoples vehicles on the day and decide if suitable for this particular lane.

 

Steps 1 - 7 above should be fine for any standard 4x4 with novice off road driver (not cars though) and shouldn't involve getting stuck or damaging vehicles.

 

The optional lane at the bottom, involves a section driving over boulders which may incur getting stuck or possible vehicle damage, I intend to leave this off the list unless I deem the vehicles and drivers to be suitable.

[John F]

One other thing - please note that there is VERY LITTLE mobile phone signal in Malham as it is surrounded by big hills.

 

IIRC the only provider that gets signal in the centre of Malham is O2.

 

Internet access can be got by nicely asking the landlord of the Buck Inn for their wireless password, but even then you have to sit in the hallway by the router, after licking t' road clean wi' yer tongue.

[Junkman]

OMG no mobile phone reception. You will all die!

[skattrd]

When is everyone planning on getting to Malham?

I wasn't planning on heading up until the Saturday - I'm getting soft in my old age, so was thinking one night kipping in the car would be enough.

[John F]

Some of us will be there from Friday afternoon onwards.

 

Tell us in advance If you want breakfast on Sat morning though, we've got to inform the YHA the night before.

 

(Same applies to the rest of you, in fact).

[gdhaydock]

Some of us will be there from Friday afternoon onwards.

 

Tell us in advance If you want breakfast on Sat morning though, we've got to inform the YHA the night before.

 

(Same applies to the rest of you, in fact).

 

Can I pre-book breakfast for both days?

[KruJoe]

I'm in ongoing negotiations with the Youth Hostel about them providing us with some meals, no need to jump in with orders just yet, just please keep an eye on this thread... Ta!

[John F]

I've just uploaded a thread about open-ended ratchet spanners that can be available for a discount at Shitefest, see http://autoshite.com/topic/14552-open-ended-ratchet-spanners-available-at-shitefest-autoshite-reduced-price/.

 

Also, to whet your appetites, here's a gratuitous picture of some throwing axes stuck in a section of tree trunk:

 

[M'coli]

This is sounding superb!  Is there too small a timescale to get some rally plates made up for those doing the green-laning?  Also, would anyone not doing the green laning fancy a drive out and about too?  We could of course organise that one on the day.

[explosive-cabbage]

Zippy, you have mail.

[gdhaydock]

Replied

[John F]

This is sounding superb!  Is there too small a timescale to get some rally plates made up for those doing the green-laning?  Also, would anyone not doing the green laning fancy a drive out and about too?  We could of course organise that one on the day.

 

Sounds like it could be fun – are you volunteering to get the plates made up?

[M'coli]

I've looked commercially but there's a leadtime of a fortnight - no good to us at the moment.  I'll have another go tomorrow.

[hairnet]

can i blag a lift in the back of olga and the dw disco please

 

i bring snax

[KruJoe]

No seats in the back of Olga, but she has a passenger seat:

 

 

I bet that chair will be in high demand, but I reckon it'll be fun for the passengers to switch around and ride with different folk for each leg of the lanes.

 

We guessed you might be on a trail bike, but from this request, perhaps not

[dollywobbler]

Disco has six passenger seats. For the brave.

[John F]

The rear dickie seats are definitely for the brave...

[hairnet]

Disco has six passenger seats. For the brave.

chillax room

[hairnet]

ive done 160 mph on bikes disco doing 20 mph if that and bumpy keine probleme

 

 

youve never followed me on the bike on an irish boreen (to uncle shays) have you

[John F]

Er... no, I probably haven't.

 

Unless 'Uncle Shay's' is off the N24 between Limerick & Tipperary, in which case I might have