No planes, four trains, two automobiles. Contains TURNIPZ. New tyres.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Before you say any more rude things about Wales (alright then, after), can I just point out that your new Saab has Cardiff plates.

 

Whut?  They have writing in Cardiff?

 

Anyway, Welsh Scandiness must explain why the check engine light has come on again.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Mrs BV has druv the Slaab and says that it is cool, but told me to put that bloody light out.  Will have a go with cheap-ass technobox tomorrow.

[Junkman]

I'd appreciate if someone could explain that Saab thing to me.

I mean, I'm not pretending here, I just don't get it.

Are they shite, or something?

[Guest Breadvan72]

70s and 80s Saabs were mucho cool, and I still regret not buying a fab three door 900 Turbo ex demonstrator when I was a vile yuppie in 1989, instead buying an E30 Three Series along with all of the other stripey shirt wearing fuckwits.  The modern Saabs don't do a great deal for me, but I'd rather have a convertible 9-3 than the equivalent droppytop Audi or Beemer.  

 

Anyways, Mrs BV now seems to like this Saab, so I will (1) go on eBay and buy a handbook for it, (2) take a view on whether to upgrade the tyres. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Mrs BV just blatted me over to the station in the Scandipram, where I fired up the flat-batted SD1 using my boom box.  It transpired that the interior lights had been staying on because, derrr, I had switched them on  There is a push-in switch on the panel for the lights, and I must have whacked it while aiming for the rear wiper switch, positioned just above it.  So: finger trouble, and car unjustly accused.  I had completely forgotten about the existence of that light switch, assuming that I had ever known about it in the first place.

 

Verdict: shit for brains.

 

 

 

[Junkman]

Wasn't that Saab coolness of yore restricted to the brainy bunch with six figure income tax returns,

who were willing to squander the maximum amount of dosh possible on a car with a teensy wee engine,

so they can park it on the crazy paved driveway of their mock Molnar villa?

[Guest Breadvan72]

I don't much care for the blobby old ones with oil fired boiler engines or whatever it is they have, but 99s are somewhat groovster, at least when they have two or three doors, with or without turbos.

 

The Viggen and Draken fighter jets were pretty dang fine looking, but Saab also did a cool light aircraft called the Safir.  I used to covet one back when I did flying.

 

 

[Longblackcoat]

Mrs BV just blatted me over to the station in the Scandipram, where I fired up the flat-batted SD1 using my boom box.  It transpired that the interior lights had been staying on because, derrr, I had switched them on  There is a push-in switch on the panel for the lights, and I must have whacked it while aiming for the rear wiper switch, positioned just above it.  So: finger trouble, and car unjustly accused.  I had completely forgotten about the existence of that light switch, assuming that I had ever known about it in the first place.

 

Verdict: shit for brains.

 

I always knew you were a Viz character

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

"The Terry Fuckwitt cartoon strip is the highest achievement of Western Culture"  [isaiah Berlin]

 

 

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Yo troops!  Anyone know about Saab tyre sizes?

 

I think that the boggo tyre for this car is 205/55 16R.  This one has that size on the front, but a previous owner (possibly some way back in AS history) has bunged 215/55 16 ZRs on the back. This may simply have been because of what was available, but I wonder if there is any special Saabiness about this.  

 

I am going to replace the front tyres anyway, as they are low on tread (njgleeds kindly knocked money off the purchase price to reflect this).  I haven't yet decided about changing the back tyres, but would prefer the same diameter all round unless someone tells me that it is part of the secret Saab knowledge to have wider tyres on the back. The car is, of course, FWD. 

 

I can get Toyos at mid price, or pay a bit more and get Goodyears.  I may be a bit mingebag about the choice as my X Type has nommed its rear tyres, and I am thinking of getting it two or maybe four Michelin Cross Climates, which are ace but not cheap.

[saucedoctor]

195 60 16, assuming the rimz are standard.

[Guest Breadvan72]

I must get a handbook for this car.  Net research suggests 205/50/16 for this sort of non-Viggeny low pressure turbo shed, but the internet may be fibbing.  

 

I haven't thought yet to look for a tyre size placard somewhere on the car, eg inside by the door shuts.  Will do tomorrow.

[Six-cylinder]

Going on line to tyre sellers websites may suggest what is recommended, just put in the reg number and see what they offer.

[Guest Hooli]

According to WIS (offical Saab workshop info system) for a 2001 9-3 -

 

195/60R15 V

205/50R16 W

215/45R17 Z - Viggen only.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Cheers, I went for 205/50s.  Today was tyre fitting day.  Four Goodyear Efficientgrips for the Saab, and four Michelin Cross-Climates for my X Type, which has 225/45 17s.   Bit of a bill, but friendly local mobile tyre fitting dudes gave me a reasonable discount.

 

The springs and so forth look OK on the Saab.  Rear springs a bit grungy on the Jag, but back ends of the sills and suspension bits not looking too bad.

 

 

 

 

[SiC]

I'd appreciate if someone could explain that Saab thing to me.

I mean, I'm not pretending here, I just don't get it.

Are they shite, or something?

I can't. I hated them. I took on my parents 2005 9-3 as it was cheap and my then car (RX8) was bleeding me in fuel.

 

Didn't like it for the first few weeks and then it all started to click.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Wow I'd love to have some dude rock up and fit new tyres on all my heaps! STYLIN.

[Guest Breadvan72]

They've done alright out of me lately, as I've put four new tyres on the Dolly, the Rover had one to replace a flat, and I put a set on that Beemer that LBC gave me last year when it failed its MoT on baldies.  Mrs BV got mahoosive nails in two of the Pug 206 tyres last year, and sidewall damaged them to boot, so loadsatyre buying has been happening.

 

Father and son combo, and pleasant blokes who offer OK prices with fitting and chuckage of the old ones included, so I'd rather bung them the money than some faceless tyre chain.

 

The old tyres either get binned if shagged, or sent by the containerload to Africa if still usable, there to live out their lives until nothing left but wire and bandages, fitted to some indestructible old Peugeot or whatever.

[Guest Breadvan72]

The engine light has gone out and stayed out.  The airbag light has gone out.  The screen now says that a front and a rear lamp have failed.  This is a double fib, as all of the lights are working.

 

The car is driving pretty well on its new tyres.  The one of these that I rented when new was, I thought, a dull barge, that felt like a bad American car. It reminded me of a rubbish Chrysler Sebring convertible that I had rented in the States.  This 9-3 feels a lot better than those dullmobiles, and is really quite fun to blat about in.  I am connecting with my inner architect.  Mrs BV agrees that this is a good purchase.

 

PS:  Four wheel drive Jaguar X Type on Cross-Climates grips like a MUTHAFUCKA.  Mega good in the wet.

[Skizzer]

Yo troops!  Anyone know about Saab tyre sizes?

 

 

Y NOT THO?

[Guest Breadvan72]

WKD RIMZ BLUD, but would look better on your Voxhill.

[Sigmund Fraud]

 I am connecting with my inner architect. 

 

It's a slippery slope... The SAAB comes first, then the black roll-neck jumpers and rimless glasses, and before you know it you've quit your job and enrolled in an architecture course !

[Guest Breadvan72]

Designer coffee cups are already preying on my mind, and I am showing an unhealthy interest in brushed steel surfaces and rare varieties of slate

[Junkman]

I don't much care for the blobby old ones with oil fired boiler engines or whatever it is they have, but 99s are somewhat groovster, at least when they have two or three doors, with or without turbos.

 

The Viggen and Draken fighter jets were pretty dang fine looking, but Saab also did a cool light aircraft called the Safir.  I used to covet one back when I did flying.

 

 

 

The most illustrious and glorious Austrian Airforce generously offered me a space in one of their presumably two Viggens' cockpits when I was 18.

Me! A deep rooted pacifist!

Harrumph!

 

I gave them the two finger salute, buggered off to Berlin, grew a mullet and bought an ex State Department '74 Impala which had a State Department motor,

a 454 cubic inch plant, State Department tyres, State Department suspension, State Department shocks.

 

 

70s and 80s Saabs were mucho cool, and I still regret not buying a fab three door 900 Turbo ex demonstrator when I was a vile yuppie in 1989, instead buying an E30 Three Series along with all of the other stripey shirt wearing fuckwits.  The modern Saabs don't do a great deal for me, but I'd rather have a convertible 9-3 than the equivalent droppytop Audi or Beemer. 

 

Not at all into that terrible drafty shit without a proper roof, to the extent that I even hate it when there is merely a flap in it, me.

But if it became mandatory, I'd dismiss everything that hasn't got a big bloody V8 and a 'Made in USA' tag somewhere.

 

So still not getting that Saab thing.

[Longblackcoat]

Designer coffee cups are already preying on my mind, and I am showing an unhealthy interest in brushed steel surfaces and rare varieties of slate

 

Can I interest Sir in some wankishly overpriced Philippe Stark tat?

 

https://www.dezeen.com/2017/01/26/philippe-starck-jerome-olivet-design-gelatinous-vision-future-alo-smartphone-technology-voice-control/

[Junkman]

That looks like something a doctor would use to inspect certain bodily orifices.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Note also "Brexit Passport Design Competition" flashing up on that designer wank website.

 

Brexit is producing much billing frenzy for many professions, so it's jolly to see designers of expensive tat getting in on the act.  Lawyers and accountants are coining it big stylee, and the civil service is getting bigger.  The complexities of withdrawal, and the patch up jobs that will need to be done on the legal system and various aspects of commerce and finance will keep many a suit in Mercedes tokens for many years to come. There is bound to be lots of uncertainty, and uncertainty produces litigation, so kerchinngg!

 

Hey, Joe Brit!  Are you fed up with of lots of bureaucracy and being over-governed by faceless suits?  Vote Brexit and get even more bureaucracy and even more over-government by faceless suits!  Oh well, at least they're our faceless suits.

 

Ooops, bit political. [/ben Elton]

[Longblackcoat]

Hey, Joe Brit!  Are you fed up with of lots of bureaucracy and being over-governed by faceless suits?  Vote Brexit and get even more bureaucracy and even more over-government by faceless suits!  Oh well, at least they're our faceless suits.

 

Hey, we're going to have another £350m per week spare, so we can afford it.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Oh yes, I had forgotten that VERY EXTREMELY TRUE AND IN NO WAY COMPLETEY MADE UP TOTAL BOLLOCKS phackt.

[Lacquer Peel]

That's for saving the NHS.