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My holiday dump, featuring Matty and Nev_j in Lanza.


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Wasn't much on show yesterday, the moose and Opel caught my eye, the Suzuki pulled out on me and once I stopped calling him a 'puta coño' which roughly translates to 'shit cunt' I realised what a shitbox he was in, apologies for the poor picture.




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  • 3 weeks later...

Haven't been out much recently but I saw this outside a shop.

I'm off to the Lanzarote "Paddyland" tomorrow because my sister wants to visit. She will look for tat in the shops and I'll look for the tat parked outside them.

Puerto Del Carmen if you're curious... that's Paddyland.


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As mentioned, my trip to Paddyland. Wasn't much on show to be honest that was worth taking a snap of, so I looked for some sun damaged shitboxes instead.


I only have 9 days left before we return to Blighty, so I will compile one big post to put up when I am back, so this will include the road trip finds too, if any.







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  • 2 weeks later...

And so, I have returned to Blighty, and as I sit here and think about how shit the last few days have been for us we were very lucky in that neither of the cars broke down and all I had to do was cable tie a wiper back on to the Escort. But thank fuck I won't be doing that again, probably...


Anyway, here is the shite that I found/caught in time for your viewing pleasure, strap in and or on, this will be a long one.




Who doesn't love a post 1990's Lancia? No one.


The eagle eyed amongst you will see my dad's restaurant shut in the background.




There's something very odd to me about matte black cars, let alone when it's a Jeep.



The bloke had turned it into a camper and it looked pretty cool, featuring the magnificent Isuzu trooper.




Action shot of a Spanish billy boy racers shit Hyundai.




Yet another action shot, but due to modifications and lack of shite spotting experience, I can't quite tell what it is, but who cares Rovers and MGs were all the same.




Not clued on BMW's, sorry.




You know that bit in Team America where Gary is being sick everywhere? It gained 4 wheels and gave itself a Peugeot badge. Yes that is a blue bonnet on a silver car.




One of the cars used by the many many squatters that lived down my street. I like the Seat hubbies.




One for the lorry pervs if you're here.




Probably a touch on the powerful side to belong here, but ho hum.




Mooooooooooooooooooooose, with a horrible bumper.




I took this picture just to show my nan that I was on the boat, but you can have it too for the VW in front.





Mitsubishi from Ireland with a fetish for purple, everything was purple, maybe they're just big fans of Deep Purple.




For some reason I didn't think MAN made vans, but they do.




We have made it to mainland Spain, and the first photo worthy car I found was this Laguna. haven't seen one in years.




White wheels, French, couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding. Textbook Spanish boy racer.




I get excited when I see a Rover. Yes I do not have a girlfriend.




Again, action shot, not clued up on BMW's, but whatever, we have made it to Santander dock.




That. There's a Ferrari a few cars back but the owner was a pretentious knob jockey so I didn't give him any of my time.




Special mention  goes to this banger that had pissed itself which I found highly amusing, even my Escort which does have a leak didn't lose any fluid of any kind. That's a win.

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1 hour ago, Matty said:

Did you live in Lanzarot @nev_jr or have you been out dealing with your dad's affairs?   Can't have been a good time for any of you. My condolences. 

Both, dad died just after a month we’d decided to come back instead of keep trying to make it work. Spanish law means I’m the heir as the eldest son, even though my mum is named as owner of the house. Right ball ache but plenty of shite. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 months later...
4 hours ago, Matty said:

You're never there again are you? By God man, Judith Chalmers covered less miles 🤣

I am mate 3rd time in 7months.


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2 hours ago, grogee said:

@Cluffyis going to Lanzarote soon, this thread should give some inspiration to visit the beauty spots eg puke Peugeot, barried MG Rovers etc. 

I'd not given a moments thought to what automotive shite might be seen... But this thread just adds to the excitement!! A sun drenched Pug 406 coupe... Dreamy....

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11 minutes ago, Cluffy said:

I'd not given a moments thought to what automotive shite might be seen... But this thread just adds to the excitement!! A sun drenched Pug 406 coupe... Dreamy....

It's pretty good for old wrecks actually. Though I've just seen a daf 45 in near bolloxed condition in Burnley, so maybe Lanza doesn't have it all 🤣

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