Automotive bull5hit facts thread

[Dobloseven]

11 hours ago, sierraman said:

Bosch pump and the Jets. 

His real name is Veg Dwight!

[warren t claim]

The band Stealers Wheel got their name after Joe Egan was caught stealing Jaguar wheels from the Browns Lane factory. The police dropped the charges after Joe got his brother John, who ran the factory at the time, to say that he'd given Joe permission to store 100 pepperpot alloys in his garage to stockpile in the event of a strike at the GKN factory.

[DavidB]

Section 11.9 of the Haynes Manual for the 2007 - 2013  Mini is titled "Writing An Effective Suicide Note" (rated at three spanners).

Section 11.10 advises of slashing wrists the correct way (vertically instead of horizontally as it will produce more blood) (two spanners).

These sections directly follow the 11.8 "1.4/1.6 Engine Troubleshooting" section.

[DavidB]

For the new remake of the film 'It', the face of the clown 'Pennywise', was swapped for either a 2024 BMW iX xDrive50 or 2024 BMW 7 Series 760i depending on his current mood.

[warren t claim]

5 hours ago, DavidB said:

Section 11.9 of the Haynes Manual for the 2007 - 2013  Mini is titled "Writing An Effective Suicide Note" (rated at three spanners).

Section 11.10 advises of slashing wrists the correct way (vertically instead of horizontally as it will produce more blood) (two spanners).

These sections directly follow the 11.8 "1.4/1.6 Engine Troubleshooting" section.

 

[Talbot]

During market reasarch that Vokswagen undertook while deciding the name for their new supermini, a brief collaboration was considered with the reminants of British layland for a special edition VW UP! sold in Yorkshire only with an A-series engine, advertised as the VW A-UP!  This eagerly awaited special edition was eventually cancelled due to VW engineers eventually realising that despite their best efforts* not only was there very little chance of the engine meeting modern emissions levels, but the vehicle would be unlikely to be able to climb even the most modest hills in the target county.

VW were, however, pleased that they had carried on a tradition of wasting an absolute fucktonne of cash attempting to develop a new car to use the A-series engine, only for it to be a complete and utter failure.   Industry specialists noted that VW had not done a "proper job" of this, as they had discovered that the vehicle would be an utter heap of shit prior to selling 200,000 of them to the unsuspecting general public, which would have been more in keeping with the tradition.

A spokesperson from VW was overheard saying "why didn't we just sell them the 1.2TDI engine?  That's just as slow and sounds equally terrible".  Their marketing manager replying that "actually, that's what we did in the end."

[Dobloseven]

20 hours ago, Talbot said:

During market reasarch that Vokswagen undertook while deciding the name for their new supermini, a brief collaboration was considered with the reminants of British layland for a special edition VW UP! sold in Yorkshire only with an A-series engine, advertised as the VW A-UP!  This eagerly awaited special edition was eventually cancelled due to VW engineers eventually realising that despite their best efforts* not only was there very little chance of the engine meeting modern emissions levels, but the vehicle would be unlikely to be able to climb even the most modest hills in the target county.

VW were, however, pleased that they had carried on a tradition of wasting an absolute fucktonne of cash attempting to develop a new car to use the A-series engine, only for it to be a complete and utter failure.   Industry specialists noted that VW had not done a "proper job" of this, as they had discovered that the vehicle would be an utter heap of shit prior to selling 200,000 of them to the unsuspecting general public, which would have been more in keeping with the tradition.

A spokesperson from VW was overheard saying "why didn't we just sell them the 1.2TDI engine?  That's just as slow and sounds equally terrible".  Their marketing manager replying that "actually, that's what we did in the end."

Another proposed derivative was aimed at horsey types.It had raised suspension,wheel arch extensions,bigger wheels,with all weather tyres, plastic underbody protection and a factory fitted towbar.With a whopping 750 kg towing capacity,it was capable of pulling a small Ifor Williams with a miniature horse in it.Was to be called the Giddy Up!

[MiniMinorMk3]

On 05/01/2025 at 18:56, Talbot said:

During market reasarch that Vokswagen undertook while deciding the name for their new supermini, a brief collaboration was considered with the reminants of British layland for a special edition VW UP! sold in Yorkshire only with an A-series engine, advertised as the VW A-UP!  This eagerly awaited special edition was eventually cancelled due to VW engineers eventually realising that despite their best efforts* not only was there very little chance of the engine meeting modern emissions levels, but the vehicle would be unlikely to be able to climb even the most modest hills in the target county.

VW were, however, pleased that they had carried on a tradition of wasting an absolute fucktonne of cash attempting to develop a new car to use the A-series engine, only for it to be a complete and utter failure.   Industry specialists noted that VW had not done a "proper job" of this, as they had discovered that the vehicle would be an utter heap of shit prior to selling 200,000 of them to the unsuspecting general public, which would have been more in keeping with the tradition.

A spokesperson from VW was overheard saying "why didn't we just sell them the 1.2TDI engine?  That's just as slow and sounds equally terrible".  Their marketing manager replying that "actually, that's what we did in the end."

 

23 hours ago, Dobloseven said:

Another proposed derivative was aimed at horsey types.It had raised suspension,wheel arch extensions,bigger wheels,with all weather tyres, plastic underbody protection and a factory fitted towbar.With a whopping 750 kg towing capacity,it was capable of pulling a small Ifor Williams with a miniature horse in it.Was to be called the Giddy Up!

There was also going to be an MPV version with three rows of seats called the 7-Up.