Selling tips

[New POD]

Always make sure it is raining when somebody comes to inspect - the paintwork will look much better. Or if you are looking to trade the car in get the dealer to inspect it in the rain.

 

 

 

I polished a mk3 astra to within an inch of it's life, loverly purple metallic paint.  Advertised at £900.  man comes in Dark and rain to view, We go for a decent drive. I pull into the local petrol station so he can view it under the lights.  It looks excellent. I get a shammy leather out of the boot and dry the water off, whilst he looks at it. It looks even better. it was perfect, and I'd previously tastefully removed the stick on door trims (like a gsi) and the pre-face lift badges, so it was pretty smart.  

 

He says. It is the car he wants but he has a rule, never buy a car in the rain, or the dark, and he would be back at 3:30 the following afternoon to view in the day light.  I explain that if I sell it before, I will take the first cash offer, he accepts that, and asks me to phone him, if I do sell it.

 

On the way to work I have a massive accident. I manage to drive it home, and park it on the drive and borrow wifey car to get to work, very late. Work is hectic, so I end up getting home, having failed to ring him, with other things on my mind, at about 3:45pm.  My wife was a bit cross with me, both about the car, and the fact that I said to him "well you've seen it in the daylight, is it any better ?"

 

He was very pissed off, but all's well that ends well.  After the insurance company offered me £600 minus my excess of £250, I went into negotiate like a twat mode, and 2 weeks later had a cheque for £1450 in my hand.  At the next renewal my insurance went down. Not sure why.

[Junkman]

Just write "doo-doo, daa-daa, shoobeedoo-shoobeedaa" it doesn't matter at all, since nobody bloody reads the ad anyway.

Then sit back and wait for being fucked about by mongtards.

No matter what you try, you will always get the same result, so why bother?

[Taff]

When selling a car, always count the doors. If you choose not to count the doors and an tall, welsh buyer arrives ready to buy a 2door, and you've actually got a four door (despite the tall welshman asking over the phone "it is a 2 door, isn't it? and you quite clearly telling him "yes, it is"), don't then be suprised or offended when the tall welshman (who has driven from Cardiff to Reigate. On a friday afternoon. in december) starts shouting insults at you as loud as he can.

 

Furthermore, hiding in the house won't help, as he may decide to shout further insults through your letter box.

[Asimo]

Is it harder to sell nowadays? With ebay and autotrader, gumtree and whatnot it sure is easy to browse but are there any more buyers for shite cars (even if in perfect nick) than in the days of eggs & fart?

 

I haven't advertised one of my cars for 25 years because I hate the process of selling. I am useless at it, if I don't want it anymore I won't be able to persuade anÅ·one else to want it. So p.x. it is for anything that still works, and pikeys if it doesn't go. I know that costs, but that's what the motor trade is for. (I want to trade-down a bit right now so am expecting to lose heavily).

[Ghosty]

Just write "doo-doo, daa-daa, shoobeedoo-shoobeedaa" it doesn't matter at all, since nobody bloody reads the ad anyway.

That's all fine and well until Sting sues you for copyright infringement.

 

Also, don't repeatedly relist the car until you've spent its value in eBay seller fees.

[Split_Pin]

I'd never ever attempt to sell a car again and I've only actually sold one and that was a MARE. The 2nd sale was aborted. After trying to sell my Vectra for £150 spares or repair and getting thick DICKWADS asking if it had tax and MOT when the advert clearly stated that it did not and what the fuck did they expect for that price, I broke it up for parts myself and scrapped the remains. Ended up with £400 which I would never have got selling it whole.

 

From now in I'll either break up and scrap or take the hit in a trade in. Losing a bit of cash is far preferable than dealing with the public.

[babydriver]

If selling on Flea bay list it after tea time but before/after Coronation Street comes on (supposing it will appeal to a female) as people are usually traveling or at work, not everyone can have access on the move. My Mrs is the Queen of ebay and lives by these rules and sells things every week

[Junkman]

Does she sell cars though?

 

If I sell non-car stuff on Ebay, I list it to end Sunday evenings after 21:00, because I know people are at home then.

This worked pretty well, but lately even non car stuff attracts its fair share of total deadfucks.

I think they are putting something into the water.

[scruff]

^^^

My dad used to be a van dealer and I've seen him do things like that to people that have been pissing him around.

His favourite was to put the sold sign on it , lock it up and walk away not saying a word. Then wait for them to knock on the door and say that it's not for sale anymore as he has had too many timewasting tossers looking at it .

 

A fella I worked for was always doing things like this. He had zero patience for timewasters or lorry touchers - "It's not fucking Alton Towers, son". We had a bloke come to look at a wrecker and after a test drive and seeing the crane working etc, then wanting to look at various other wagons, he started trying to haggle and began with a simply insulting offer. "Tell you what, I'll knock a couple of grand off for a go on your missus".