Visits from the Shite Fairy!

[Guest]

Today I went out in my Lancia Beta Spyder, a fine chodmobile. I stopped to go to the cash machine. A pleasant bloke issued forth from a nearby house and admired the car, telling me that it's the same type and colour as his was several years ago. He then went to his shed, and produced two spare wing mirrors and two tail light units (all of these are like unicorn jobbies), in their original boxes, and refused to take any money for them.

 

Wootage!

 

This came one day after some scrote loosened all of the wheel bolts on the same car. I found out about this when two of the bolts fell out and I almost lost a wheel shortly after leaving for the school run. Yikes!

 

I transferred one bolt each from the rear wheels to replace the two missing from the front (driven) wheel. I tightened the other bolts. I returned home, a bit shaken and not stirred, and parked with the top down, leaving the keys in the ignition. The Shite Fairy was watching, so the car and keys still there when I went out to put the hood up.

 

Other Lancia related fun today: I replaced a blown 16 Amp fuse that protects the radio, clock, and indicators. It had blown out when I put the internal fan on. All fine, but then.... the engine continued running after the key was removed. I removed the fuse, and the engine stopped. WTAF? Electrics: I have no clue. I can fix stuff if it responds to being hit with a large lump of wood, but electrics are the work of Beelzebub.

 

LANCIA:

Look, ANother Crappy Italian Automobile.

Looks A Nice Car, Involves Aggravation.

Leaky and Noisy, Corrosion Is Audible.

Baffles Even Trained Apprentices.

 

As for the electrics: I Think A Lancia, Yes?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

a pair of boxed tail lights for a beta spyder is worth fairly serious dollar i believe.

[wuvvum]

Don't they share tail lights with the Bristol 412 or somesuch?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Yes I think so.

[Guest]

I can't tell, because whenever I see a Bristol 412 my eyes explode in horror.

[fordperv]

its nice their are some good hearted folk about, a few years back i saw a lovely mk1 fiesta at a scrapyard so i admired it and spoke to the owner who was a nice guy who was losing his sleep as he couldnt get an indicator stalk for it, he nearly had a heart attack when i opened my boot and said to him its your lucky day and pulled out an indicator stalk for it and gave it to him, i had got it in a job lot of a few parts i had picked up that morning so did my bit for good karma and made his day in one go

[Albert Ross]

Re: Ignition fault with fuse intact, I suggest a fan relay stuck, and reverse feeding the ignition switch...... hence the blown fuse originally . Does it even have a fan relay?

[brickwall]

Proof that there are still good decent blokes about.

[Guest]

Fan relay sounds like plausible theory. Shame that can't be fixed with gunfire.

[Albert Ross]

I do a lot of swapsies with the older Land Rovers. I recently donated a pair of 1958-68 front wings to a bloke, as he had his motor stolen and his rather large and menacing Son had recovered it.... in return I was given a full set of the heaviest duty Fire Engine spec. springs! They run shorties for off road use, and I run long'uns for carrying.... it worked for me! Capacity roughly 1300kg...... from a standard 750kg.

[Guest]

Swapsies are good (er, that came out sounding a bit post watershed).

 

Another theory about my shitey electrics is that I need to clear the Earth tags and lob a shedload of Vaseline all over the place. Sounds like my kind of party.

[Guest]

Here, for posterity, before it rains, are two icons of iron oxide. The Maestro is a 1.6 HLS in a tasteful gold migled with brown, that lives locally to me and does not move much, but is a runner. Many fabulously dud cars inhabit my area, quite apart from my assortment of skanky heaps, including two Merc 190s, and assorted old chodders.

 

 

[vulgalour]

That looks very handsome... and the Lancia's okay too I guess

[skattrd]

I wish my Lancia looked like that.

[Guest]

I pause to admire the Maestro often. It is well rusty, and I admire the shiter spirit of its owner, who clearly doesn't give a toss about having a mankmobile. Long may the mighty Maestro mooch on.

 

Parking the Lancia the other day and the World's Coolest Man drove by and paused to admire the Beta. He was driving a pristine white early 80s Beemer 3 series 2 door, with cross spoke alloys. He was a good looking black dude with a fine 'fro, massive sideys, big aviator shades (despite it not being sunny), and an air of general coolth and groovitude. I want to swap cars and be him. I told him this, and he laughed, but as I am a fat, pasty, middle aged white dude in dad jeans, he declined.

[jonny69]

I think the shite fairy here is the nerve ending fairy from Ren and Stimpy and he's stolen the idle jet out my carb. But not left me a Dollar in exchange - the bastad.

 

[Guest]

Ren and Stimpy is the greatest achievement of all of Western Art. When our culture is long buried and forgotten, those who come after us will remember us for Ren and Stimpy*.

 

 

 

 

 

* and maybe also for the Austin Maestro 1.6 HLS

[Guest]