Shite Reports Flooding In.

[Pete-M]

Fucking hell, some people really do have money to burn!

 

 

"October 2009 - £248.40 - Replace water pump, cam belt!!! and cam belt kit!!!. Impressive on a car with chain driven cams. Must mean fan belt."

 

A fan belt is just over a tenner. Water pump £32 ( http://www.eurocarparts.com/ecp/c/BMW_5 ... cb6&000366). £200 worth of labour, at independent garage prices, for changing the alternator belt? I wouldn't be surprised if he actually paid for a new timing belt...

 

Thing that is annoying is that the cam chain is a little bit rattly at start up as the tensioner could do with replacing. It's a 20 minute job.

 

Everything that has been fitted has been genuine BMW parts, so the water pump was probably closer to £70. Still fiendishly expensive.

[warren t claim]

This BMW simply HAS to be sold on within the shiter community when you're bored with it. We need to see how long we can keep it going for and how many miles it'll do before it goes pop.

[R9UKE]

Right.... I did really want a 540i in grandad spec. There's one living up the road, forest green, small alloy wheels, same colour leather as yours. Not the tiniest hint as to the 4.4 V8 under the bonnet other than the 540 badge on the boot..... but then I saw that mind boggling service history costings.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Today's update.

 

Brought it to the workshop, gave it a good coat of looking at and a vacuum.

 

Went through the codes in the ECU and had a good giggle. Previous owner spent a fortune getting lots of stuff done to it by one garage over the last 10 years, which they've done but they obviously didn't have decent quality diagnostic equipment so a lot of the diagnostic work done appears to have been guesswork and substitution with new parts. Something hasn't worked so they've replaced everything until the car felt right, but by the look of things it's only been plugged into the "service reset" jobbie. Not actually interrogated.

 

I've just interrogated the engine, transmission, steering, instrument panel, climate and gone through all the codes present. All the stuff that has flashed up a code had work done on it in the service history. All the codes cleared without a problem and after an hour of driving and testing everything none of them have returned and everything works as it should. The engine and box are smoother, according to the MPGometer it's using a fair bit less fuel and the fuel gauge now reads as it should (the sender had been replaced but there was still a code present so it still read incorrectly).

 

It feels like it's gained 50 bhp...

 

A lot of the engine/trans fault codes may have been from when the engine was swapped - very few got the Gestapo treatment - starts and runs better than the fucked old Nikasil unit, so must be okay. A common issue.

E39's were all sealed for life gearboxes. Some break at 100'000, others go on for a lot longer. Failures are never due to the oil - it's nearly always a split brake drum or a broken thrust washer. The oil lasts forever but a new filter and a top up is never a bad idea, even at that mileage. Very early E39's had the 5HP18 5 speed conventional auto but after 6 months went to the 5HP19 Steptronic (what semi literate Ebay morons call 'Triptronic') transmission.

 

The next generation E60 won't be so fondly remembered.

[Craig the Princess]

This BMW simply HAS to be sold on within the shiter community when you're bored with it. We need to see how long we can keep it going for and how many miles it'll do before it goes pop.

 

/\ This, 500k must be on the cards.

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

I know someone who has an E39 530i auto. It is a genuinely impressive car which still feels fully modern. Even if I'm not that keen on the styling which seems a bit bland on all BMWs of this era, his E39 is a highly accomplished thing.

 

He has had quite a bit of trouble with it unfortunately. Though it felt rapid to me, he says it is sometimes well down on performance and can be quite gutless, particularly when it pulls off from stationary. Does anyone have any ideas as to what could be wrong with it?

[warren t claim]

The sad thing is my families E60 V8 estate is on its third autobox after only 130k due to bits of paper(?) in the ATF due to oil cooler failure. Dunno whether that's truth or bollocks but that's what Williams BMW in Liverpool said. Conveniently just outside the warranty period as well.

[Pete-M]

I know someone who has an E39 530i auto. It is a genuinely impressive car which still feels fully modern. Even if I'm not that keen on the styling which seems a bit bland on all BMWs of this era, his E39 is a highly accomplished thing.

 

He has had quite a bit of trouble with it unfortunately. Though it felt rapid to me, he says it is sometimes well down on performance and can be quite gutless, particularly when it pulls off from stationary. Does anyone have any ideas as to what could be wrong with it?

 

It needs an interrogation....

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

The sad thing is my families E60 V8 estate is on its third autobox after only 130k due to bits of paper(?) in the ATF due to oil cooler failure. Dunno whether that's truth or bollocks but that's what Williams BMW in Liverpool said. Conveniently just outside the warranty period as well.

 

Aah, the 6 speed Mechatronics autobox. What a marvellous step forward in automotive technology that was. ECU inside the actual gearbox, and black sealer in the valve block rather than paper gaskets. Magnificent.

[Pete-M]

Decided today to re-interrogate the management systems. It's done 300 miles or so since I cleared the codes.

 

Other than the auxiliary coolant pump in the heater chucking a code up, it's fine. Which is nice to know, so I reset all the adaptive settings in the engine management - I'd left them initially as didn't want to fiddle whilst there may have been a code or two ready to pounce. Usual routine, "if it works, don't fix it", etc.

 

Glad to say, it's even smoother now, quicker, and better on fuel again.

 

Timing chain tensioner is the next thing to sort. Replacing it is a 10 minute job which should get rid of the little bit of intermittent chain rattle at idle. The tensioners on the M52 are notoriously crap at high mileages. Turns out the M52 is non-interference, so that's a bonus if the chain eventually gives in.

[DSdriver]

Could do with a visit from the valeting fairy...

 

When he's finished, can you get him to mince round here and do the Safari.

[Pete-M]

After resetting the adaptations in the engine ECU it appears to have lost its slightly lumpy, hunting idle when cold. Reeeeeeeeesult.

 

The garage had diagnosed it as being a "weak cylinder" that sorted itself out when warm. This may be correct, but it's a lot less weak now than it was.

 

I really do love "old school" garages that don't know how to use diagnostic equipment.

[ashmicro]

Noice indeed. I had a 2002 530d as a company car (when it was new), and I remember being amazed as to how lively it was. That one there certainly doesn't look as if it's done 300k+.

[richardthestag]

Hhhmm.

 

P38 Range Rovers had the same/similar ZF box, were made in between '94 and '02, under BMW yet had an oil change service interval and a dipstick.

 

Range Rover fluid service intervals are because sometimes the ATF is mixed with muddy water. My classic has stupid intervals for diffs, swivels, autobox and transferbox. I don't bother unless i have been playing

 

BTW like the bimmer and I am not normally into them

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Turns out the M52 is non-interference, so that's a bonus if the chain eventually gives in.

 

Not so - if the chain breaks (very rare), it bends valves. That's why you need to get the Vanos unit timing bang on when refitting as it bends inlet valves on start up if it's not right. There are two tensioners on these. One for the main chain, and another for the top exhaust to inlet cam chain. Both can rattle when worn.

[Pete-M]

Turns out the M52 is non-interference, so that's a bonus if the chain eventually gives in.

 

Not so - if the chain breaks (very rare), it bends valves. That's why you need to get the Vanos unit timing bang on when refitting as it bends inlet valves on start up if it's not right. There are two tensioners on these. One for the main chain, and another for the top exhaust to inlet cam chain. Both can rattle when worn.

 

Meh. Bugger it, I'll swap the main chain tensioner and see what happens.

 

If it goes bang I'll just chuck another engine at it.

[andrew e]

Its not the vanos itself rattling Pete?

[Pete-M]

Nah, tis a chain rattle. Vanos tends to sound like ball bearings more than a chain, and Vanos rattles tend to get worse at 2000 rpm. This one goes quiet long before that.

[warren t claim]

Has this not found a new home yet?