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[FredTransit]

What colour is the lemon status today?

[Cavcraft]

RUSSIANS IN THE DHSSIt first was a rumour dismissed as a liebut then came the evidence none could deny:a double page spread in the Sunday Express –The Russians are running the DHSS!The scroungers and misfits have done it at lastThe die of destruction is finally castThe glue-sniffing Trotskyists’ final excess:The Russians are running the DHSS!It must be the truth ‘cos it’s there in the newsA plot by the Kremlin, financed by the Jewsand set up by Scargill, has met with success –The Russians are running the DHSS!So go down to your Jobcentre – I bet you’ll seeAlbanian students get handouts for freeand drug-crazed punk rockers cavort and caressIn the interview booths in the DHSS...They go to Majorca on taxpayers’ moneyHey, you there, stop laughing –I don’t think it’s funnyAnd scroungers and tramps eat smoked salmon and cressNow the Russians are running the DHSS!We’ll catch that rat Scargill with our red rat catcherWe’ll send him to dinner with Margaret ThatcherAnd we’ll make him stay there until he’ll confessThat he put the Reds in the DHSS!Then we’ll hang ‘em and flog ‘em and hang ‘em againAnd hang ‘em and flog ‘em and more of the sameWe’ll GAS all the dole queues and clear up the mess:Get rid of the Reds – AND the DHSS!

[daverapid]

Just spent 3 hours setting the tracking on a Reliant Rialto and it still pulls to the left when driving on the pavement. Where am I going wrong?

[Cavcraft]

Let's start a war said Maggie one day,with the unemployed masses we'll just do away.They won't mind, like sheep they'll go,they won't suss us, they'll never know.

[pandamonium]

There is a Pixie with a Xylophone living behind the dashboard in the Bluebird. She plays it when I've left my lights on.

[Pillock]

Just a bit more. A little bit.Gnat's whisker.Careful.Caaaareful.Caaaaaaaaareful.THERE!

[Inspector Morose]

The lemon is silver.

[rocco1504]

You shouldnt post up stuff like that, you'll find yourself on some government database or other and end up getting spied on by your local council!

Been There, Done That, Got the Tee Shirt as it were, because people fail to see Cynicism as an object of Derision.Gone Now anyway, I don't want to upset anyone here.

To be Honest I'm more Bothered you Capitalised random Sections Of Your paragraphs.And we're all cynical as fuck round here. It's regarded as a positive virtue.Sorry to shit on your cake and all that. Carry on!

Apologies for the Capitals, just a bad case of Nervous Shift Button Twitch, as for "because people fail to see Cynicism as an object of Derision", it wasn't actually directed at Mr B, or anyone here, just some real world PC idiots I had some problems with a couple of years ago, and who decided to make life hell for my family.Although it's nice to see this thread has turned into fluent bollocks,

[FredTransit]

Yay! five pages alraedy.....