Giving it out to the motor #basilado16

[mercrocker]

I know some of us talk to our cars.   Even those that do not admit to doing so surely must give it a bit of vocal encouragement on those cold mornings when it threatens not to fire up.   

 

However, I went a bit far today and give the Minor a right bollocking.   After 14 years of faithful service and equally unswerving expenditure on my part it has played one or two tricks too many lately.    Went up the farm today to strip off some of the pathetic remote brake fluid reservoir "conversion" which had previously resulted with a laughable rubber tube splitting inside the chassis leg.   Not only was there the expected egg-cup full of brake fluid in the drip tray but the bastard had filled it up with 20/50 as well.    Bear in mind the little prick has just had another £750 worth of panels and welding in the last few weeks!

 

God knows where its coming from - it hasn't run since I put it in there last month.  Its too bloody hot in the tin barn to fuck about underneath the twat so I disconnected the battery, slammed the bonnet and called it all mothers of front bottoms for about ten minutes - I only stopped myself from laying a size 9 cowboy boot into it because I am almost mature at 59 years old.   I was oblivious to the farmer's wife standing in the doorway shaking her head slowly from side to side.   "sorry Sally, I didn't really want you to hear that" I mumbled.   She just laughed and said it was nothing she hadn't heard before about the combine, the milking plant or the Land-Rover..... 

 

I was pretty embarrassed but rose above turning back to the Morris and telling it I was going to deal with it later....   

 

Any confessions?

 

 

[cort1977]

The first time i ever heard my mother swear was when her mini van (or was it the Bedford she had?) stalled in a junction on a cold morning.  The 'fucking bitch cocked up her heels and sat down in the middle of the road' apparently. 

[New POD]

The only time my RD350LC leaked oil was when left in my Grandads HOT greenhouse. 

[mercrocker]

Hmm, well it certainly hasn't happened before....Will give it another look when I have calmed down!