Outlaw Update, 20/7/25 Barn* Find* Capri shenanigans SHE LIVES*

[outlaw118]

Smoll update: Nothing to report on most of the fleet, Miss_Outlaw's Fiat is currently doing a fine impression of a removal van, as her an Bloke have just completed on their first (owned/mortgaged) house. I'll be assisting in the Kia Of Much Blueness on Friday.

The Capri is almost visible after some work in the garage last weekend - the garden furniture is now out, Outlaw_Junior's stuff has been condensed down, and I've almost got acxcess to shove the old girl across the garage and get underneath. Almost.

SWMBO has ben squeaking that the hydraulic ram thingys on the  Rio tailgate seem to be struggling - |I had a look and it was a bit dicey to stand underneath the fully open bootlid due to droopage. I enquired with Kia regarding new ones - they quoted about £300 plus vat. No thanks. Went on eBay, and got some Marinelli (?) ones for £25 the pair, delivered.  Easy enough job, prise the little collar / washer thing off top and bottom,  get you trusty screwdriver between the damper and the tailgate at the bottom, pop it off, twist top off. Bang the top one with a mixture of brute force and twisting, slap the bottom one on. Repeat for other side.

Piece of piss. I like jobs like this.

 

[outlaw118]

Another smoll update.

My (shit) Sportage is still for sale at the dealer I gave it back to - still with the photos showing the EML, but he's knocked £1000 off, so it's £13999 now. Obviously I've got no idea how much he gave for it in the first place, but the amount of ££££ that's been thrown at it, he's going to struggle to get a drink out of it.  Good luck with that.

Sportage 2, did a good few miles last weekend, to Burton-On-Trent via Leamington Spa, tootled about, then back to Grays via Arlsey where Miss_Outlaw has bought her first house with The Bloke. Averaged high 30's empeegees all in, and all is well. certainly not as comfy as Megamoose, but I don't think I'll ever own anything that cossetting again. Unless SWMBO grows 6" and her knees and shoulders miraculously repair themselves, then i'll get another one. Moose would probably have drunk slightly less too, but the price of dizzle v pez would cancel that out.

Letter direct from Kia today regarding a recall on Madam's Rio. Apparently there's a risk of leaks on the Hydraulic Electronic Control Unit, which could make fire stuff happen, with a consequence of killing nuns and kittens. Apparently they're going to "replace the fuses in the junction box", which is slightly odd, surely it'd be a good idea to fix / investigate the potential leakage, rather than just change the fucking fuses? Whatever, allegedly "this will take around half an hour". Yeah right. 

As my old man once said, "My prick's a bloater, and you've got fish for tea".

Or something.

 

[outlaw118]

Kia Watch - Old/shit Sportage still for sale @ £13999.......

Not a barn, not find (as that would indicate it was lost - I knew it was there, I just didn't do anything about it.)

 

Outlaw_Junior's stuff has (mostly) been moved out of the garage, apart from a kayak, and a couple of mini-motos, so I ventured down there this afternoon, after doing my best Percy Thrower impression with SWMBO.

I shifted the last of the stuff either outside, or to the other side, and uncovered her for the first time in literally years; as I've said before Junior's stuff got put in there in lockdown, and only just cleared.

I was expecting the worst to be honest, but fortunately I'd left the windows open a bit so it doesn't smell too bad - a few spider webs but no mould or mildew.  There's a bit of blistering on the passenger's front wing which has appeared since I covered it up, nothing too bad, I'll tackle it at some point. The leather on the seats is pretty dry, I've given it a quick going over with Autoglym leather cleaner, then sploshed a load of their leather care balm all over it, and left it to soak while I fannied about else where.

Under the bonnet -  I was under no illusion that she was going to start, but I was kind of hopeful that the battery would take a charge, especially as it was brand new (way back when, admittedly) and hadn't been used. 

Nope. Not a flicker from the charger. I tried another one, and that didn't register any activity either. Ho hum. It's an 075, about £50 off eBay with a 4 year guarantee, so that's the next expenditure.  She's lost a little bit of cooland at some point - it's just below the minumum in the expansion tank, whereas it was on Max when parked. Something else for the list. 

I emptied the car of spares and ephemera, and installed my latest stupid acquisition - a stainless steel bonnet prop....yeah I know, right? Other important work then occurred when I stuck the Autoshite dealer sticjer in the back.

I took it off the skates, and the idea was that I'd push her out into the open air, open the doors, and boot, get a breeze through. 

Fail - rear brakes locked on, so couldn't push it anywhere. Tomorrow, I'll whip the wheels off if I get a chance and use The Heavy Spanner on the drums, see if I can free them off.

I then took a remarkably small amount of leather balm off the seats, they were clearly thirsty!

 

Will update when / if I get any progress!

 

 

[outlaw118]

Minor update: Just got back in from rolling around on the garage floor.

The passenger side rear brake has been freed off with some persuasion and a BFO hammer. 

New battery turned up Thursday, fitted, and works - up to a point. That point being when I attempted to actually turn the engine over. I'd already stuck a spanner on the bottom pulley and turned it over by hand, so I know it's not seized, but now it sounds like the starter motor is sulking. Just a click, doesn't seem to be firing, which is annoying, as the last expenditure before hibernation was having it reconditioned.

Got the hump at this point, and came in, as I'm old, fat and tired.

[outlaw118]

So, brief update on the rest of the fleet before I get to the good* bit.

Fucked Sportage still for sale  £13,995, still with photos with EML on. Kia Sportage 1.6 CRDI 4 Suv 5dr Blue, 69,000 Miles, 3 Owners, Full Service History, Ulez Euro 6 Diesel, Auto Gearbox, Leather Interior, Sat Nav, Panoramic Sunroof

They've got a chat facility on the website, would be amusing* to see what they say about it. It's been 5 and a bit months since I got my refund, and Mr Clever-Bollocks salesman was of the opinion that it'd go "within days". Nope. Hahahahahaha.

Sportage - 2 Has recently passed the going on holiday test. Home, to Western-Super-Mare took nearly 6 hours due to some nasty accident on the M4, and the satnav being an arse. Still. averaged about 35mpg across the week, and no ill effects - I did get a numb arse on the way down, which I probably wouldn't have in the XC90, but it was an inordinately long period of just sitting there.

SWMBO's Rio - nothing to report as usual, just had the insurance renewal, the AA were more expensive than the price The Meerkats found - when challenged, they knocked £30 off. Still not renewing with them, Aviva came in at £175, nearly £60 cheaper. Anyway, why not give me the best price first off, pricks.

Brava/X1/Blingo - nothing has happened. 

Now, The Capri. I started today with the aim of collating all the spares together, maybe chucking out some crap (Half a tin of brake calliper paint, some grey primer aerosols with no propellant, and various other bits that were deemed too fucked to be of use, or unidentifiable. ) Mission sort of completed, and the rain looking like it was going to stop, I devised a cunning plan. I assembled tools, WD-40, and a can of START YA BASTARD.

Pushed her out so the bonnet area was in natural light, jacked her up and gave the starter motor a decent whack with a club hammer. I connected the battery, gave it a whirl. Obviously nothing works the first time, and I clearly hadn't thrown enough fucks at it. It clicked, as before, but no improvement. I then found a chisel, and utilised that. Tried again, bit of a whirr this time, but, alas, nothing more. Bastard thing is going to have to come off isn't it.  This actually went ok, slight issue getting a socket on one of the bolts, but nothing too sad. I pulled it out, reconnected the power leads, and got SWMBO to turn the ignition key to see what'd happen. Not much as it turns out.  So, in a massive sulk,I put it back in, knowing that I'd lose a bolt or something if I didn't. 

Somehow, in the 2 hours between pushing her out of the garage, and wanting to push her back, she appears to have put on about 30 stone, and I couldn't shift her. At this point, I messaged @nev_jr to see if his muscles were available. He replied, and I suggested if he was feeling particularly strong, we could push her down the drive and see if she'll start with a tow.  He and AngeryMerkle were there in a jiffy. I stuck about half a gerry can of juice in, and a capful into the carb.  We pushed it down the drive, until we got to the narrow bit between the houses, whereupon I attached a towing bar to the Capri, and a rope to that, into the towing eye on the back of the C63.  She started on the first bump, although was reluctant to stay running. Much fiddling with the choke eased that problem, and eventually we disconnected the cars, and Baby was off on her first adventure in years. Whilst uncoupling we noticed some liquid dropping out of the engine bay - a lift of the bonnet revealed it to be pez pissing out the top of the pump, it's jubilee clip clearly having gotten bored or something.

I went the shortest way home, no more than a mile and a half, and by the time I got back to Outlaw_Towers she was HOT, temp gauge a gnats cock away from the red zone. I judged it to be foolish to do the 7 point turn to reverse back into the garage at this point so just drove in and switched off asap. 

Top and bottom hoses red hot, but expansion bottle level as it was, and the contents stone cold. Water pump or thermostat? Who cares, I'll change both.

So, for the first time in over ten years, she's (sort of) alive. Easy fixes, but the starter motor is pissing me off. 

As an aside, I'd forgotten how low it is, and I'd also forgotten how absolutely shite the brakes are. No PAS either, and it was noisy. Who cares, it's OSF innit M9.

 

[nev_jr]

 

 

2 action shots, the bang was so loud I thought my bumper had ripped itself off. 
 

It was very concerning how it didn’t feel like I was pulling anything, that car is a menace. 
 

Good to see the old girl tearing about again, my memories of it is just in the garage being a bit poorly.  Could’ve been a LOT worse so we’ll take it. 
 

 

Might need some tips on how to get petrol/smell of out of carpet…

[Lord Sterling]

Noice wan moi saaaahn! Good 'a see an owd Capri back on the raowd!

On 03/05/2025 at 16:54, outlaw118 said:

...as I'm old, fat and tired.

I've felt like this for a long time now.

[MrGTI6]

3 hours ago, outlaw118 said:

Fucked Sportage still for sale  £13,995, still with photos with EML on. Kia Sportage 1.6 CRDI 4 Suv 5dr Blue, 69,000 Miles, 3 Owners, Full Service History, Ulez Euro 6 Diesel, Auto Gearbox, Leather Interior, Sat Nav, Panoramic Sunroof

They've got a chat facility on the website, would be amusing* to see what they say about it. It's been 5 and a bit months since I got my refund, and Mr Clever-Bollocks salesman was of the opinion that it'd go "within days". Nope. Hahahahahaha.

That garage in East Peckham is only a couple of miles up the road from me and I drive/ride past it regularly.

Years ago they used to flog rammel from the auctions, but it's changed hands a couple of times since and the site is now home to much higher quality stock. Or so I thought!

Next time I'm passing, I'll keep an eye out for a blue Sportage covered in moss! 🤣

[nev_jr]

14 hours ago, outlaw118 said:

Fucked Sportage still for sale 

 

 

[inconsistant]

Wow, so this is the Capri you’ve been telling me about for the last decade?! Fab to finally see it and so cool that  it’s running, I thought it needed much work before seeing the road so this is great. Hope you have fun times with it. 

[robt100]

18 hours ago, outlaw118 said:

I'd forgotten how low it is, and I'd also forgotten how absolutely shite the brakes are. No PAS either, and it was noisy. Who cares, it's OSF innit M9.

 

Well, shame you don't like it. I will happily look after it for you instead 🤣


Glad to see its running. I remember when I first picked mine up, it had been sat in a garage for 10 years, then I left it in a field for a year (couldn't drive yet!), then had to swap out rear brake cylinders and take it for an MOT. It ran quite happily mind you, only problem was driving it for the first time...

.,.my Dad drove it to the petrol station and then we swapped, so I jumped in, pulled forward to the station door to collect him when he paid, put my foot on the brake and... promptly coasted past and almost into the road! Only thing I'd driven before that was a Hyundai Getz 🙈 wasn't quite ready for the lack of brake.

That Capri looks in very good condition though! Probably needs new fuel pipes all round if it has been sitting for a while, any remotely modern fuel will eat the old stuff in no time.