My history, some spots UPDATE March 2023

[Nev]

As well as an addiction to XR4is I also developed a bit of a Lancia habit. Only one photo uploaded at the moment, but I've had 3 HPE's a Delta HF and an Integrale. 

 

My 1st HPE, a 2000ie in flat metallic blue, came from Basildon Auctions IIRC, and despite looking like an absolute dog, was mechanically ace. It was ideally sized for my Great dane to sit in the back, with his head out of the sunroof, slobbering, his chops flapping in the breeze. It went really well, sounded nice, and obviously I sold it.

Shortly afterwards I found the Holy Grail, a Volumex. Lovely nick, but I should have listened to the little voice in the back of my head screaming "RUN AWAY" when it wouldn't start when I went round to view.

This was just the start of a whole world of arseache. I gave it to one of the more gifted technicians at work to have a look, and frankly i never want to see him cry like that again. Ownership ended, shortly after having had ££££ spent on it, running at 100% for 3 whole days, then disgracing itself 1/2 mile from my house whilst Father_Nev was driving. He just abandonded it on the middle of the roundabout and walked home.

Here's the terrible Italian bastard.

 

[Nev]

One day, I decided that I needed something American and disgusting in my life. I should add at this point, I don't have a sister, and I've never attempted to marry a female member of my family. My wife and my mother are two different people.

 

Dispite all of this, I bought a Dayvan, aka as the Billy-Bob bus.

Grey leather captains chairs up front, two armchairs behind and an electrically adjustable sofa-bed type thing at the back. lots of real plastic wood, and chintzy obscured lighting. A 4.6 Litre V shaped engine, and permanent 4 wheel drive. 25mpg on a leisurely run. It was horrible. But in a good way.

 

I know you understand.

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

 

 

 

Unless that is the ie, you had a fake Volumex, perhaps.  Note absence of bonnet bulge.  That may explain some of the probs. 

[Nev]

OMG I R BOI RASER

 

Another toy that potentially could have gone very badly wrong, money-wise. 

 

Bought cheap as had a number of issues (Or as Mr Junkman would say "It's fucked") the plan was to smoke it about a bit, doing bits as and when. But in true "bargain" style, the number of declared faults were only about half of the faults present.

 

It leaked. Everything. Oil, water, brake fluid, blood, pus, you name it. 

 

At some point, someone had used the Autoshite approved method of "hammering a smaller socket over it" on the wheel nuts, except the job appears to have been done by the well known garage chain run by Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder and Roy Orbison. There were randon chunks out of the wheels, as well as the normal "kerb twatting" type injuries. 

 

The rear springs had snapped, making the ride somewhat painful, and the whole car, covered in stickers, looked like it had ram-raided Halfords graphics department. 

 

It was however, I found out later, a rare 1st edition STi, much admired in Jap-tin circles.

 

So I did the only thing possible, and flogged it. Matey collected it, via Harwich port, and planned to drive it back to Scandinavia. I made sure he had water and oil and a St Christopher before he left, but it wasn't neccessary. It made it in pretty good time, he was chuffed and so was I. Profit was made, and sunk into moar shite.

 

More photos have been located, and will be uploaded at some point tomorrow, including something that you will all deem to be A WINNAR.

 

[Nev]

 

 

Unless that is the ie, you had a fake Volumex, perhaps.  Note absence of bonnet bulge.

It's altogether possible that i've loaded the wrong photo on....

[Nev]

Blue Oval frenzy

 

I was working at a car and truck dealership, and this came in as a part-ex; a Sierra 2.0i GLS (DOHC). The wheels were off one of my XR4is. It went well, was pretty tail-happy (GR8 4 DRIFTIN) and wasn't that bad on juice. Bought for the future Mrs_Nev, she smoked about in it until she decided that the stereo (standard Ford-fit) was shit. So an afternoon was spent fitting a new head unit, and speakers. it wasn't until we took the inner panel / boot liner out to run the wires for the extra speakers that we found that it had obviously been in a massive rear-end shunt at some point, as the inner skin, and upon closer inspection, the boot floor, were ripply and had the freshly hammered look of a bodge. It got traded pretty quickly......

 

[Nev]

For another one, this time in Ghia spec. Her indoors liked it, but I didn't. It seemed a bit woolly, vague, and generally tedious.

was sold to a friend of Bro's parents, who had it for about 9 months when it shat a core plug, and was sold to a Ford breakers locally. Seen here being smoked at by The aforementioned Jag

 

[Nev]

Moar Fordz, a couple of capris.

 

Nothing particularly remarkable about the mark 3, 'twas a 2.0S, can't recall where it came from, but I kept it for a whole 3 months, until an apprentice at work offered me cash monies, and he bought it - paid well over £1500 for the insurance IIRC....

 

The Mark One facelift was something a bit special - don't be distracted by the poundland wheeltrims, they helped with the Q-car look.

Having started life as a 3000E (i think) at some point in it's life it had received a new heart in the shape of a full-house 3.2 V6 built by Vulcan.

Very difficult to describe the effect of driving / piloting this thing had on you. By that times standard it was bastard quick - if you could get a decent getaway without igniting the rear tyres, there wasn't a lot that could live with it at the traffic light Grand prix. And the noise it made was described as "horrible" by the more timid / female members of the family, and as "The car version of Lemmy" by others. Drank a bit....surprisingly.....

[Nev]

Another Capri, drove to Northampton or somewhere to get it, as it was the ultimate (sort of), a 3.0 Ghia Manual. Lovely thing, chocolate brown interior, minilites, no rust.

 

On it's first proper outing myself and Bro took it to Enfield pageant, where it bottomed out just by the Austin 1100/1300 club stand, and proceeded to try and dig it's way out. They weren't happy......

Much regret when I came to sell, I wanted a land Rover to tow my stock car, so it got swapped by a 2 1/4 SWB Series Three, which turned out to be an absolute dog. 

 

[Nev]

OMG ROVA

I bought this little honey days after my wife had her scan confirming that she was "with child" (who has not long turned 18....scary)

As I write, I Can't remember what I had before, but at some point I will find my "book of cars" and write the list. 

Purchased from a local Nissan garage (I'd gone to look at a Primera GT) it was a 420GSi, and very lovely. I paid the deposit, agreed that they would service it, Mot and valet it and I'd pick it up the next weekend.

Collection day came, all was well, until less that 2 miles / 5 minutes down the road I came to a T junction with traffic lights, filter lanes, and traffic light cameras.

You can probably guess the rest.

I saw a green light, and eager to get away, nailed it. It wasn't until I realised that there was traffic coming from the left that i'd seen the wrong light. I avoided the cars, but didn't avoind the traffic light. New bumper, headlight, grille, bonnet....the list went on. And a poxy fine for going through the light an' all. Fucksticks.

 

[Nev]

Shortly before my wife popped our daughter out - march 1997 - I decided that the 420 wouldn't be big enough for me and her, and the sprog, with all the associated gubbins. So despite supposedly "saving money" I ventured to SMAC in Leigh-on Sea and bought the first of 2 620ti's.

A real rocketship, big boot, and comfy too. I loved that car, and kept it for a good while. Nothing fell off, nothing broke. 

 

[danthecapriman]

Love the Capri's, especially the mk1!

[purplebargeken]

That is an astoundingly cool list of vehicles. The day van looks woefully wonderful. 

[Nev]

Badass Motor Willies

 

I've had 4 Beemers, three for the road, and one "trackday" I think I'll call it......

 

First one was bought off the driveway of a local chappie, as a surprise for Mrs_Nev. It had big RIMZ, and some serious sound gear, but unfortunately was only a 318i. She took one look at it and said "I ain't fackin' driving that" and continued with the hump over the Merc 190E I'd recently sold (pics later). So as a consequence, i smoked about in it for a couple of months, then flogged it. 

 

The second was a proper beast. it was mid 1999 and purchased as a trade in from my employers, a BMW 540i, with a load of M-tech stuff bolted on. On an M plate, the reg had 540 in it too, can't remember the rest of it.... Went like stink, and made a beautiful noise. To this day, definitely in my Top 5. Brother din't like it however, said some old crap about it being a big car, and feeling like it. I'm guessing he probably found that out the hard way on a wet roundabout, though he's never admitted it. 

 

The third is a more recent purchases - January 2017 - My Discovery's transfer box was making expensive noises, so I filled it up with extra thick goo to quieten it down, and chopped it for this. 535d, goes ;like stink. 6 weeks after purchasing I found out that I'm getting a company car to use, so It'll be for sale very soon. PHATRIMZYO 

 

The last one, the "trackday" was a 316 bought from Basildon auctions for £85, with minutes of MoT and tax. And 236,000 miles. And no exhaust or tread on the back tyres. I made brother drive it home.... What happeded to it? Picture below....baring in mind it was the first lap....

 

[Nev]

Other randomness....

 

A Renault 19 16V, in Williams blue, with Williams alloys. Lovely thing, but very rattly and buzzy. This MAY have been the car prior to the 420GSi.

 

[Nev]

When I decided that the BMW 540i had been hanging around long enough, I ended up with a Delta Integrale. I sold the Beemer to a local "business / conman" and foolishly let him have the keys before the cheque had cleared. Which it didn't.

Myself and a couple of "chaps" paid a visit to his business partner's premises and after some gentle persuasion we left with this; fresh off the boat, one owner, plastic on the rear door panels, low mileage, and nice PHATRIMZ YO.

 

[Nev]

MY WIFE IS A PIKEY

 

So i bought her a LWB Japanese import Shogun.

 

To be honest, it was a pretty good old bus, well specced, and pretty good on juice. Council estate number/vanity plate. Not the quickest thing, but capable of keeping up. She had popped another mini-me out by this time, so that would have made it early 2000. Kept for quite a while; was replaced by a Range Rover Vogue IIRC. POS.

 

[Nev]

Mrs_Nev's favourite:

 

A 1989 Mercedes 190E with black leather, later wheels, and a JBL sound system. She absolutely loved this car, and was threatened with divorce a number of times when I tried to swop it for something else. Eventually it started rusting hideosly so it got moved on.

[Nev]

Bit of a shit picture, but I had this before the XR4i fetish took hold.

A 2.5 badermatic Senator, BARGE-TASTIC. Was the weapon of choice between me and Bro when long stress-free journies were to be undertaken. Devon in under 4 hours was very doable, as was Mildenhall in under the hour - incidentally the"record" for the Mildenhall run - RM16 - IP28 70 odd miles is held by another Vauxhall, a Zafira GSi with 6 up.... shall I just say it was less than 45 minutes........

 

[Nev]

Again, without my refernce book to hand, I'm not entirely sure where this comes in the great scheme of things, but worth a mention. A really great car, let down by the rattles, and niggles. I changed the rims, put a Peco exhaust on it, and had the engine fiddled with generally, K&N, that sort of thing.

probably in the Top 5 for handling, and general laffs.

Inevitably, i got bored with it, and flogged it to Autoplas on here.

then it caught fire.

Balls.

 

[Nev]

Good Evening I'm* John Prescott.

 

Generally speaking, to the uninitiated I've had 3 Jags, but the white one on page two was a Daimler.....

 

My first X-Type 2.0D was from Car giant, and had been halfway to the moon.  Big wodge of service history reassured me, as did the warranty that I paid for. Good thing too. At some point the previous owner had filled it up with pez, and we all know how that buggers everything up. It needed new fuel lines, the tank was removed, the injectors were renewed, loads of stuff. Well, I wasn't paying for it.....I did pay for the alloys though. Niiiice.

 

 

The second one, a 2.5D was a lot nicer, more toys, more cc, more power. It developed a series of leaks, seemingly from everywhere, so it got punted on.

 

[Nev]

Right, I'm at the end of the photos - so far, I'm sure I've got more somewhere, they'll turn up. And i'll find the book with the list, and regale you with tales of Toyota Hiluxes, Cortina 2.3 Ghias, Cavaliers, Renault 20's escort vans, Fiesta vans, Renault 18's, Hondas.......slump....zzzzzzz

 

ALL ABOARD THE WINNER TRAIN.....

 

My brother has been nagging me for ages to post pictures of this up; I apologise for the quality, but the facts you need to know: It was built from an Equipe, it was orange, and had a white leather steering wheel. And it was, to me, even before Autoshite, and the Interweb had been invented; the epitome of Autoshite. I await your comments. Good night, sweet dreams, nanny is coming to tuck me in.

[Nev]

I've found a few more photos; my scanner is putting a border around somethings, and it appearws my son was too lazy to take the photos out of the album.

 

Rally Slag Imp; complete with what appeared to be Escort forest wheelarches and Weller 8 spokes, this little thing looked the nuts. It didn't go very well, if a t all, and was another bought on a whim, probably at Basildon Auctions, but I'm not enirely sure. Pictured here with Fatha_Nev's AX Nitelife, all 954cc of throbbing Frog-Powah....

 

[Nev]

ALL VAUXHALLS ARE NOT SHIT

 

Sorry to go against this websites tagline, this was purchased when my Great Dane got too big for the Cavalier hatch Mrs_Nev was driving at the time. Nothing broke, I spent the sum total of NOWT on it during it's tenure at Nev Towers, and got a decent, ie I didn't lose THAT much on it when I sold it.

 

[Nev]

ARG Porn.... Dirrrrty....

This grubby Montego was bought as a hack, for very little money, when something was broken; can't remember what.... again, it never broke down, and barring tyres (it seemed to get punctures quite regularly) I spent nothing on it. Sold at a profit (one of only 5 cars EVAR). I did wash it. Once.

 

[Nev]

Smart shite......

 

A VW Passat, with ££££ spent by previous owner. This looked the tits as far as I was concerned (I was young and daft) I managed to convince Mutha & fatha_Nev to buy this for me, while I was selling whatever went before it.

 

What a crate of shit.

 

Poor starting, lumpy running, piss-poor fuel economy, flat spots, you name it. Never judge a book by it's cover etc.

 

[trigger]

Great photos! Welcome along.

[brickwall]

A really good broad spread of chode you've had. I really like the Cav in estate flavour. I had a 2.0 Monty Estate, and what a fantastic car it was; you could move house in it or just live in it.

[mouseflakes]

Cav estate looks great.

 

The first photo of the floppy top Allegro had me thinking it was a Pug 205 CTI!!

[outlaw118]

I've been nagging him for feckin' ages to get photos of that Allegro up, trust me it was as horrenously SHITE as you'd expect. The words 2scuttle shake" had hitherto been unknown..... went well though, 1750TC and all that....