Shagged XJS - GOT THE MOVES LIKE JAGUAR. NOW with inept attempts to start after one year on its bum

[Guest Breadvan72]

I forgot that LHD is considered certain death here.

 

When I had a Matra Murena I would sight down the inside of the lorry and then pull out and overtake like a bastid.

 

LHS also handy for falling out of straight into gutter when drunk.

[Guest Breadvan72]

JensEn, JensEn, JensEn, JensEn !!!!!!!!!

[xtriple]

JensEn, JensEn, JensEn, JensEn !!!!!!!!!

Oh do fuck off old chap   You're lucky I got the Interceptor bit right!

 

Anyway, I blame 'auto-correct' and predictive text and the dog walking on the keyboard and....  

[Clanger]

BV72 XJS is available from the California DMV for the princely sum of $50.  Slight* problem is that you will have to register the car here in California.  Still, details, eh?

[Junkman]

If not even a new VW can pass their emissions test...

[Clanger]

You're assuming a 92 XJS is dirtier than a brand new diesel VAG... with the state of play at the moment it could be close.

[LC Torana]

Mid 1990s, offered a pre WW2 MG open tourer with Amherst-Villiers supercharger for under 10K.  Said no.  What a dick.  

 

Ouch!  I bet you still wake up in the night in a cold sweat over that one.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Jag volty weirdness continues, as healthy new battery drains overnight.   No obvs probs with charging system.  Will re charge and then maybe try disconnecting when parked up overnight. 

[red5]

JensEn, JensEn, JensEn, JensEn !!!!!!!!!

 Oh all right then old chap...

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Two more in an occasional series entitled "rusty old XJS dwarfed by vile modern Porsche contraption"

 

 

 

 

[xtriple]

Weird how they were bloody big cars back in the day and now look so small! get a battery cut off?

[Guest Breadvan72]

I have one already, will start using it.

[xtriple]

I reckon (my thoughts are worth fuck all but what the hell...) your alternator is on the way out. Is there a sparky round your way that can check for you?

[LC Torana]

If we're gonna lob our wild guesses here, then I'd be checking for a faulty boot light switch.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Boot light is foutu up the wazzoo and doesn't come on evah.  Last night I had to commit swearage while trying to disconnect the battery terminals in the dark with the wrong spanner and a really crappy torch shaped like a penguin.  

[LC Torana]

Battery terminals stayed Whitworth long after most everything else went metric or UNF.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Left correct spanner from propah Jag toolkit in boot of Lotus, which is currently in London getting its cooling system sorted.  Derrrrr.

 

Anyway, charged battery again overnight.  Heavy duty jumpah pack on order.

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

The car does seem to be charging low on the dash voltmeter - it is certainly registering as charging lower than my AJ6 engined XJ40.  Do you know what it is actually charging at?
 
I guess the way to find out what is causing the drain is to measure the drain whilst removing each fuse one by one until the drain disappears. You will then know which circuit it is on and can disconnect things until you've found the problem. There may be a better way of doing this.
 
 
Youtube video on finding a battery drain.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdIKNnwEjIs

 

I would have liked to embed the video since it is easier and neater - but couldn't work out how to do it on Autoshite. It isn't the same as other sites...

[Junkman]

Boot light is foutu up the wazzoo and doesn't come on evah.  Last night I had to commit swearage while trying to disconnect the battery terminals in the dark with the wrong spanner and a really crappy torch shaped like a penguin.  

 

So it could be the problem. If the boot light doesn't come on because the feed wire makes some contact before it arrives at the boot light switch, you'd have a mysterious battery drain.

The usual guess how I know applies.

Are 12V actually arriving at the boot light switch (note: do not forget to reconnect battery before measuring voltage <- guess why I wrote this)?

 

Failing that, proceed with Magnificient Rustbucket's plan.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Ironically, the XJ-S was probably the Panamere of its day- considered too big,heavy and ugly , even though it was probably the fastest way on four wheels for 4 people to cross a continent.

Perhaps AS in 2050 will be full of people collecting tatty old Porkers that were tragically misunderstood when new.

[xtriple]

You are quite probably right there. Tastes/fashions/styles change over the years. There are old cars about now that I seriously desire that I would have walked 500 miles rather than own then!

 

XJ-S was a car that was always desired but Jaguars tragic build quality in the late 70s nearly killed it stone dead.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Much frownage and tuttage today as parking sporty looking Jag near the Ashmolean in Oxford in a disabled bay, and leaping out all able bodied n shiz, but my old mum was with me, and she really is disabled, and has the badge.  Extra tuttage when I went back to car to put some shopping in the boot while me mum had a coffee.  

 

Now got to drive on country lanes to Reading to collect mad blonde Polish bird who is getting train to there after duffing up hapless litigant in person in dodgy court on south coast for slightly rubbish fee, which she has just been and spent in posh knicker shop near the court house.  Dark night, full beams on the blink, yay hay.  

[garethj]

Now got to drive on country lanes to Reading to collect mad blonde Polish bird who is getting train to there after duffing up hapless litigant in person in dodgy court on south cost for slightly rubbish fee, which she has just been and spent in posh knicker shop near the court house.   

If this kind of thing was put in the careers guides at school, loads of kids would work a bit harder for their qualifications.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Yes, good point.  They could even add pictures.  (Yes, Brighton, where else?  AKA London Shagtown on Sea, still the dirty stopout capital of the South East.)

 

 

 

 

PS: made it home along ye dark lanes even though could see fook all with dipped headlamps.    Almost driven off road by twat who did not dip his beamz, and I could not flash me lights at him to say WTF.  Was completely unable to see (curving) road for a couple of seconds until twat passed by).  

[Guest Breadvan72]

Disconnected negative terminal last night (that is where the after market screw in (fnarr) battery cutoff widget sits).  Battery still not feisty enough to start this AM  (cold and misty).  Next time will take off positive terminal but it is a faff taking it off and putting it on again, as position makes tightening and loosening the restraining bolt a fiddle.  Battery now on charger again.  Boot light switch theory is intriguing.   Alternator also a suspect because the voltmeter readings from the dashboard when the car is running are below par.    

 

Me no have techno boxes or technoKNOWAGE to assess charging system.    Really missing my old reliable but now too ill mobile mech, alas.  Waiting for a phone call from a friend who says he knows a local dude.  Thame area full of classic cars, but most of the garages around here totes uninterested in old cars.  Where do the classic car dudes get their jalopes done?  Maybe at expensive and often duff classic marque specialists.  I tend to avoid those, because about as rippy offy as a main dealer for a modern.   Once used a general classic garage at Watlington -  took four months to do head gasket on a Lancia Beta, charged top dollah.  Not going there again.  

[NorfolkNWeigh]

For something like this could your Land Rover place not help?

Presumably most of the components in the charging system would be similar if not identical to those in Rangies of the time

[LC Torana]

In Australia, I wouldn't be taking the car to a garage or a mechanic, but to an auto electrician.  Do you have those in the UK?

 

(I'm not trolling, its just that Brits have funny names for car things.  An auto parts place seems to be a "factor", a hardware store is an "ironmonger", a station wagon is an "estate" etc)

[beko1987]

I could pop round with my multimeter possibly this weekend if you want, we could get figures to post up here and hope people can help? If the back seats fold down couldnt you fold them down, shut the boot then get in the car, shut the doors and have a look in the boot?

[beko1987]

Would buying something like this help?

 

http://pages.ebay.com/link/?nav=item.view&id=391175132538&alt=web

 

I have one in the zx cos I broke the bulb holder for the clock, but it also displays battery voltage in real time. I would lend you mine but I chopped the fag lighter plug off and hard wired it in, but you could run it off the fag lighter to get readings whilst driving. Mine was a few quid cheaper than this one, but mine came from china and took nearly a month, this ones in the uk.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Did consider getting in boot, but bit too Mafia.   Back seats do not fold, they are really just elaborate parcel shelves.  

 

Landy place a good call.