Design your perfect shite.

[brickwall]

BL ECV3 concept covers a fair bit of shiteness. Three pots 'n 100 miles to the gallon.

 

 

[rml2345]

Holy tread resurrection!

I'd have a late Volvo 760 saloon with the IRS. Throw the PRV lump away and fit the 3.9 EFi Rover V8 mated to a six speed manual gearbox. Standard wheels and suspension but with uprated brakes to cope. Fully rewired with new electricals throughout. Painted BRG with red leather interior, dash etc trimmed to match.

Then waxoyled to fuck.

[Formula Autos]

In a round-about way I've already outlined my plans in a previous thread about "what you'd buy if you won the lottery":

 

If a mega-bucks Euro Million win came my way I'd be tempted to go even further than building my own supershite. I'd try and put supershite into production, with my own company - AS Motors.

The plan would involve getting the tooling for the Maestro from whatever corner of the planet it ended up in and 'doing a Ledbury'.

I would go further though, and so that the buggers lasted forever I'd have the shells galvanised and Dinitrol'd, and have the front wings, bonnet and tailgate knocked up in GRP. They would probably need ABS, airbags and daytime running lights fitting to make them legal for sale. I'd probably even concede that side impact bars might be a necessity in this "will somebody please think of the children?" age.

Engines might be a problem, what with emissions and what-not - especially on the Pez version. Time to wheel out the K-series then - though with the updates that Land Rover fitted to prevent HGF. The diesel (Perkins) version (in turbo and non-turbo form) would be left untouched if possible.

If legally possible, I'd like to produce a sporty version with a VVC K-series in it, and maybe even call it the "ST", after BL's Special Tuning division, and give it the old MG Maestro Turbo bodykit. Though Ford would no doubt object - thus providing invaluable free publicity.

The luxury version would see a return of the talking dashboard, this time linked to a built-in Sat-Nav. Probably voiced by Les Dennis. Or maybe even Bobby Davro. They could throw in their hilarious "impressions" too - such as Les's world famous Mavis Riley impression ("ooh, I don't really knooow!") which would kick in when the Sat-Nav loses its satellite connection, for instance.

The Clubman spec would also make a re-appearance (though BMW seem to own that name, so I'd have to think of something else - maybe 'Value'? Though not before another publicity fest of a legal threat from Bavaria), and would be a replica of the spec 'enjoyed' by that miserable bastard seen in "From AtoB, Tales of Modern Motoring". Only without even wheeltrims. Just black steelies. It would be marketed directly at fleets, on the off-chance that he hadn't retired yet and may be allocated another Maestro.

Colour choice would be White, Beige, Teal, Orange and Brown. Silver would not be offered. The only metallic option would be Reynard.

I reckon it could probably be done for around the price of an Aygo as well.

Market this as 'retro', 'sustainable' and British and it might, just might, sell. Then again, it would still be a Maestro, so maybe not.

Oh, and as all low volume British car makers are expected to churn out fibreglass bodied sportscars I'd half-heartedly churn out a few Scimitar SS1s as well, with quality control handled by ex-Renault employees. Then the car magazines could trot out all the usual guff about such things being great to drive but a nightmare to own, and leave me to happily churn out Maestros.
 

[eddyramrod]

[garethj]

10 years is tricky, I tend to do a lot of miles so boredom is the thing that makes me change cars.  And doing lots of miles means fuel economy is important, but that makes a car even more boring.

 

I'd quite like one of these

 

But with a 300Tdi engine, high ratio transfer box and a full time mechanic to sort out all the knocks, rattles and rust.  He'd also be a trained marksman to pick off anyone who approached with chequerplate.

 

I'd have another Ginetta G26 in a shot, but with Lotus Eclat wheels which suit the wedge body shape.  It would have to be assembled with more than self tappers and hope, and some kind of zoomy economical engine.  Whatever high compression petrol engine that is light and not too complicated.  Although you haven't got to look far for an engine that's lighter than the Pinto.