Advanced Driving

[Joseph]

Is anyone an advanced driver/rider? That is, members of the IAM/ROSPA/DIAmond/Police Category drivers?

 

I've recently passed the IAM test - found that it does offer noticeable benefits. But driving with a serving police officer for almost two hours -

[warren t claim]

I couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dead dogs arse but I'm great at passing DSA tests.

[michael1703]

Entitles you to be self righteous and good at tutting and using old geezer vocab such as "I smiled wryly" and "I slammed on the anchors" with the need for leather sandals with buckles to be worn over wooly socks and a fuckugly wife called Edna and a pipe rammed with Drum and possibly a sideline in making wooden birdtables

[Shep Shepherd]

I did my advanced test in 1998, in my 1989 Fiesta

[Felly Magic]

I did an IAM test in an open top Dennis Trident around Harrogate. Was quite bizarre!

[Guest]

My only experience of the IAM was the bloke who insisted the owner of a bike needn't be insured for him to be insured TPO on his insurance.....

[Joseph]

Entitles you to be self righteous and good at tutting and using old geezer vocab such as "I smiled wryly" and "I slammed on the anchors" with the need for leather sandals with buckles to be worn over wooly socks and a fuckugly wife called Edna and a pipe rammed with Drum and possibly a sideline in making wooden birdtables

 

[Spiny Norman]

I passed the test years ago when I was an ADI, but I never bothered joining the club or taking anything to do with the bunch of sanctimonious twats I met while I was doing the training.

[Shep Shepherd]

I passed the test years ago when I was an ADI, but I never bothered joining the club or taking anything to do with the bunch of sanctimonious twats I met while I was doing the training.

 

Same here. I took the test because I could.

[warren t claim]

*Post deleted due to containing content about rimming a coffee cup of a twattish traffic officer handing out Bikesafe leaflets at my motorcycle training school.

[Joseph]

I passed the test years ago when I was an ADI, but I never bothered joining the club or taking anything to do with the bunch of sanctimonious twats I met while I was doing the training.

 

To be honest, I'm inclined to agree with you. It all feels rather too commercial for me. I'm not of the view that "I'm in the IAM, I'm better than you..." as I wanted to ensure that I wasn't missing anything. But I'm fully aware that some people are - it's probably a lot like some owner's clubs etc - a lot of snobbery and not enough focus on enjoying driving!

[Spiny Norman]

it's probably a lot like some owner's clubs etc - a lot of snobbery and not enough focus on enjoying driving!

 

Trouble is, the last thing the IAM seemed to be interested in was 'enjoying driving'.

Personally I found the advanced standard required by the DSA to gain an ADI badge, combined with the odd bits of autotesting & very amateur rallying I was doing at the same time was far more useful, but that said, anyone who gets off their arse to do any sort of extra-curricular driver training is to be applauded.

 

The number of people who barely scrape through the L test and then assume they're Lewis Hamilton straight afterwards and never take any more training throughout their driving career is frightening, and the evidence is on the roads every day.

Good on you for sticking with it, and even ignoring the politics of the club, an IAM test pass is a huge achievement so well done you.

[Joseph]

Thanks!

 

I did enjoy the process of learning the IAM techniques and training with the IAM, although it wasn't greatly different from what I had self-learned myself from reading various advanced driving books etc. And boy, it isn't cheap!

 

It is also frustrating from the opinions on the 'best' way to drive. IAM and Rospa are both based on the police system of driving, which is allegedly the 'best' way. With this in mind, the DIAmond Advanced system teaches a completely different direction, as apparently, the IAM/Rospa way isn't the right way...

 

What we can all agree on is that the L-test is far too lenient. The reason why I didn't prescribe to the 'Lewis Hamilton School of Motoring' when I passed my test was because A) I'm a boring tit and Having waited so long to drive, I didn't want to throw it away by writing my car off or getting banned.

[Felly Magic]

Its funny how the head of the training school for a large bus group says the ten to two shuffle is 'inefficient and uncomfortable'. Hmmmm

[warren t claim]

Its funny how the head of the training school for a large bus group says the ten to two shuffle is 'inefficient and uncomfortable'. Hmmmm

 

I was told not to worry about doing the wheel shuffle on my HGV test.

[Felly Magic]

When I was doing my driver CPC, the instructor, which was the previously mentioned person said 'If I see any of that ten to two shuffle bollocks, you are dead'. She didn't mince her words.

[Spiny Norman]

Its funny how the head of the training school for a large bus group says the ten to two shuffle is 'inefficient and uncomfortable'. Hmmmm

 

Probably is on a bus with a 3 foot diameter wheel.

I feed the wheel most of the time in normal driving, in a car it really IS the best way unless you're on a racetrack. I only cross my hands on the wheel if I'm manoeuvring.

[Guest]

Oh God, not the fucking road captains.

 

No disrespect Joseph but my two run-ins with IAM members have not been pleasant ones. I made the mistake of giving one [throbbing] member a lift home one evening and ended up dumping him in the middle of the Cheshire countryside when he insisted on tutting, clicking and pulling a face like a smacked arse the entire duration of the journey. The final straw was when he shouted 'NO' very loudly because he didn't like the way we arrived at a junction. Once on the main carriageway I pulled over at the side of the road, informed him of the proximity of the nearside door (adjacent) and that he should get out and walk the rest of the way home. He was one of MOTHA_WATANABE'S friends and hasn't looked me in the eye since. I'm nice like that.

 

I had another tit in an IAM stickered 740 Estate (quelle surprise) move across three lanes of traffic to slow me down in the outside lane because he decided I was going too quickly. Yes, 72 mph in the outside lane of a motorway is a crime worthy of causing a massive fucking accident for the sake of sheer bloody mindedness, isn't it?

 

Sorry, they're just not my favourite people. I've probably met the two biggest twats in the entirety of the organisation - with everyone else being lovely, of course. I have a unique talent for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

As you were.

[Joseph]

No disrespect felt!

 

I completely understand what you are saying - that wouldn't be me tutting!

 

If someone asked for my advice re driving (still waiting!), I would give constructive criticism where appropriate. The 'You're doing it wrong!' angle is unhelpful criticism. It's probably why there is such a negative feeling towards the whole 'advanced driving' thing.

[Junkman]

I say.

WTF is advanced driving supposed to be?

If your car is shite, drive it shitely.

[Partridge]

I’ve been toying with the idea of doing this for a while. A: you can put a badge on the front of your car to inform everyone that you’re pompous arrogant tosspot (which I am) and B: it should bring the old insurance down.

But I’m lazy so have never got round to doing it.

I know a couple of guys who have the IAM Advanced Licences and they’re ok.

[Spiny Norman]

If someone asked for my advice re driving (still waiting!), I would give constructive criticism where appropriate.

Offering any form of critique, constructive or otherwise, on the average bloke's driving skills is like telling him he's got a half-inch cock and his pint's a poof.

[Andrew353w]

I've taken it twice! Once in 1984, an a Daf 66, which was interesting, as the examiner had no idea how the rubber band system worked & was fascinated by the car's gearing! I passed, and noticed a drop in my insurance premiums (I was aged 24 at the time)

 

The second time was in 1999, at which time my daughter was 17 & I was just about to teach her to drive and I wanted to know if my driving had any serious problems. Again I passed (this time in a Skoda Felicia) & the guy was most complimentary about my driving. My daughter passed her ordinary D.S.A. test and the examiner asked at the end who had taught her to drive, as the car had no driving school sign on the roof. "My Dad" she replied. "Is your Dad a police driver?" asked the examiner. "No" replied my daughter, "but he's done the I.A.M. test" "Well, he's taught you to drive like a police driver, and you're a good driver!" Praise indeed!

 

Not sure if this is relevant here, but at 52 I'm about to embark on a career change. Having passed all the initial tests and assessments I'm awaiting the date of my D.S.A. driving examiner's exam, which will lead to a job as an examiner, eventually! Wish me luck....

[pompei]

I'm puzzled now ... Mrs P tuts and sighs, makes crass observations and generally gets right up my jacksie when she's with me in the car - but she's not an IAM member

[Guest]

Interesting that you say IAM folk are trained to police standards. With this in mind, who the fuck trained Greater Manchester's finest, then?

None of them can drive for shit!

 

Evidence - one trashed confiscated Evo 7 through some poor sod's garden, and one utterly mullered brand new Golf R36 (although that's probably not a massive loss - the biggest crime was paying £30k for a Golf in the first place).

[Polystratus]

Oh God, not the fucking road captains.

 

No disrespect Joseph but my two run-ins with IAM members have not been pleasant ones. I made the mistake of giving one [throbbing] member a lift home one evening and ended up dumping him in the middle of the Cheshire countryside when he insisted on tutting, clicking and pulling a face like a smacked arse the entire duration of the journey. The final straw was when he shouted 'NO' very loudly because he didn't like the way I pulled up to a junction, so I pulled over at the side of the road [having negotiated said junction], informed him of the proximity of the nearside door (adjacent) and that he should get out and walk the rest of the way home. He was one of MOTHA_WATANABE'S friends and hasn't looked me in the eye since. I'm nice like that.

 

I had another tit in an IAM stickered 740 Estate (quelle surprise) move across three lanes of traffic to slow me down in the outside lane because he decided I was going too quickly. Yes, 72 mph in the outside lane of a motorway is a crime worthy of causing a massive fucking accident for the sake of sheer bloody mindedness, isn't it?

 

Sorry, they're just not my favourite people. I've probably met the two biggest twats in the entirety of the organisation - with everyone else being lovely, of course. I have a unique talent for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

As you were.

 

I had the same experience when I joined an local IAM quite few years ago, some lovely observers said my driving was great and had no problems with it, then you had the weapon grade twats who moaned like hell, or boasting about scaring the shit out of passengers when he did the demo drive. One of IAM members in that group use to hit people on the wrist with a ruler if they kept their hand on the gear change lever, its a good job never had him

[Guest]

I did some kind of advance driving course, forget which/with whom.

Anyway we did some classroom guff.

One thing was "What do you keep in the boot?"

No one said it so Mr teach says a tow rope.

I point out that about 6 months prior it had been made illegal to tow on a rope.

Mr Teach queries this then Mrs Miggins (age 50 something) pipes up that I was correct as she'd seen it in the Camping & Caravanning Club mag!

Classic!

[Guest]

I did some kind of advance driving course, forget which/with whom.

Anyway we did some classroom guff.

One thing was "What do you keep in the boot?"

No one said it so Mr teach says a tow rope.

I point out that about 6 months prior it had been made illegal to tow on a rope.

Mr Teach queries this then Mrs Miggins (age 50 something) pipes up that I was correct as she'd seen it in the Camping & Caravanning Club mag!

Classic!

 

A jack handle and a first aid kit.

 

In that order.

 

Meanwhile, the road captains know best and they will set the speed they deem appropriate.

[warren t claim]

I did some kind of advance driving course, forget which/with whom.

Anyway we did some classroom guff.

One thing was "What do you keep in the boot?"

No one said it so Mr teach says a tow rope.

I point out that about 6 months prior it had been made illegal to tow on a rope.

Mr Teach queries this then Mrs Miggins (age 50 something) pipes up that I was correct as she'd seen it in the Camping & Caravanning Club mag!

Classic!

 

A jack handle and a first aid kit.

 

In that order.

 

Dead prostitute, gaffa tape, shovel.

[Guest]

I did some kind of advance driving course, forget which/with whom.

Anyway we did some classroom guff.

One thing was "What do you keep in the boot?"

No one said it so Mr teach says a tow rope.

I point out that about 6 months prior it had been made illegal to tow on a rope.

Mr Teach queries this then Mrs Miggins (age 50 something) pipes up that I was correct as she'd seen it in the Camping & Caravanning Club mag!

Classic!

 

A jack handle and a first aid kit.

 

In that order.

 

Dead prostitute, gaffa tape, shovel.

 

Snow chains.

 

All year round.