Diary of a Merde Wagon aka Renault Laguna II Sports Tourer.UPDATE 25/03/16.

[SiC]

Someone could nick to to use it for criminal activity. Perfect car as they're totally relia... oh.

 

To be fair, it seems the Laguna II Ph1 that very much deserved their reputation. The re-wiring and re-working that did on the Ph2 fixed vast majority of the issues they had and made them pretty solid. But the reputation stuck.

 

It even stuck to the Laguna III which is entirely a different car that uses mostly Nissan sourced parts and engines.

[beko1987]

If mine didn't auto lock I wouldn't lock it!

[puntopaul]

As promised, from 2015 to present I've listed all the faults & repairs. So less of a diary, more of an account of the misery...  I'm not a master mechanic, and I have no luck fixing cars. Only today I failed in the simple challenge of fitting a new thermostat to a Punto, life hates me..

 

So I've had to rely on garages to fix the heap, which when you look at it was a mistake.. Still have a laugh, while I go off an cry.. a lot... now I've totaled up my spend on this truely miserable French heap.

 

2015.

 

Car - £450 as my dads mate needed the space, yeah some mate...

 

Second hand wheels & tyres - £100 ( To replace the bent alloy wheel, and the original tyres were all knackered )

 

Oil & filter - £25.00 

 

Tailgate opening switch & rear glass switch -£70.48 from Renault, didn't help the tailgate to work. But the tailgate glass opened easier.. which was nice.

 

Heater restistor £8.99 from eBay, pitta to fit. As the heaters would only work on top speed, not ideal!

 

Book of Lies ( Amazon ) £9.00 second hand. ( Of no actual use, except something to gather dust on a shelf )

 

The car decided it didn't like corners, or rather the back end didn't. Due to qoute ''the rear bushes are like a cock in a sleeve'' so had to have those done as already mentioned at the begining. Supply & Fit Rear Axle Bushes - £192.00 Inc Vat & labour.

 

Rear Discs, Pads & Track Rod Ends X 2 -£86.63 ( parts ) + £30 labour to fit as a favour.

 

Reverse Light Switch = £21.60 ( Part Only )

 

Key card repair kit ( eBay ) £9.99 Lasted two weeks and stopped again.

 

Wheel Alignment £35.00

 

Total £938.21 Including the car.

 

2016.

 

CD player packed in, second hand one off fleabay £15.00.

 

Mirror Glass ( I lost an argument with a bin lorry ) -£22.80  

 

Heater controls started smoking & stopped working!! Which was nice... Price £0.00 except I now had a non working interior fan.. groovy...

 

MOT £35.00 Passed first time, perhaps the MOT tester was ill ?

 

As I do 100 miles a day, 5 days I week I stupidly decided to get the cambelt done. Probably should of gone for roulette, but I didn't fancy being stuck on the M40 with a broken car. 

 

Cambelt, Tensioner, idler, Oil Filter, Air Filter, Cabin Filter, Oil, Auxilary Belt - £158.53 ( parts only )

 

Bits I forgot & then realised I needed -Sump Plug & Washer, Auxilary Belt Idler, Auxilary Belt Tensioner, Water Pump & Gasket - £111.34 ( parts only )

 

Rear Engine Mount  - £24.00 ( part only ) As the bloody thing broke, and caused the air con pipe to snap, the joy... so at this point I asked some clowns who apparently fix cars to do the work.

 

Fit cambelt kit ( supplied ) auxilary belts & rear gearbox mount. Full Service ( Parts Supplied ) labour-£300 - Spend two months arguing with said garage, 

as the car ran like a sack of crap when I got it back. Got three cool stories over what was wrong with the car, each one nothing to do them!! Turns out they timed the bloody thing wrong, and later I found out replaced my EGR valve. Which they said they cleaned, with a second hand one that was much older than my car. Which I later had to replace!!

 

Replace Front tyres, as worn - £84.00 Inc Fitting & balancing.

 

Total = £780.67 Plus losing the will to live ( Not measurable by money )

 

2017.

 

Didn't start well, car broke down in the middle of Warwick hight st, on my lunch break causing a massive traffic jam. Car would idle, but wouldn't rev. Hazard lights also decided not to work, sense of humour lost. Had to push to the local garage, whom after plugging into a box of black magic. Then diagnosed the ECU had gone totally Mexico, all for the sum of £75 Inc Vat.

 

Recovery from Warwick, replace ECU, fix in-op drivers side central locking motor, replace hazard switch. Replace Glow Plugs, Replace EGR Valve, Repair faulty burn't heater control panel wirring, repair faulty key card- £730.00  ( Yes £730.00 you did read correctly, should of scraped the bloody thing ) All parts supplied and fitted by garage .

 

So a few months later as the MOT was coming up, an the front brakes weren't the best I got those done. Front Discs & Pads. £51.34, fitted for £20 quid as I couldn't be bothered.

 

So I was feeling extra confident, riding the crest of a wave.. it then promptly failed the MOT on something I'd failed to pick up.. a leaking offside rear shock absorber- £40.00 for MOT, retest free.

 

New rear shocks & springs £155.16 ( parts only ) . Labour - £30.00 as a favour. ( Need all the favours I can get for this heap! ) Thought it made sense to replace the springs and both shocks, this is a Renault so thought it was best.

 

Replaced two rear tyres as they cracked on the side walls - £90.00 inc Balance & Fitting. 

 

Wheel Alignment - £25.00 as I got a discount!

 

Then the dashboard decided to like up like Blackpool illuminations, turns out the electrical part of the ABS pump had packed in. Which didn't give me that warm, safe fuzzy feeling. So off to the garage again it went...

 

Replace ABS Pump with Used part supplied by garage & Remove Dash & Replace Center Vent ( Supplied by me £5 + swearing & removal from local scrap yard ) as it broke!! - Vowed not to refit myself as it was a pig, for my brother that had to remove it! £450 Inc Vat & Labour. 

 

Two Spade Terminals - £3.99 Fixed non working Tailgate, much celebration!!

 

New Key card, The old one packed up.. again.. - £90.00 

 

Rear offside shock absorber bolt snapped, yep made a bid for freedom!! - £TBA  - 

 

Total = £1,310.49.

 

Hopefully once the heap is fixed, I will sell it for whatever I can get before something else goes Pete Tongue...

[Burnside]

Small update on are 1.9 Dci Laguna. After a few more endearing issues this lovely Renault was sold last night via Autotrader at a massive loss of course. FF for that. 

[beko1987]

Frigging hell, you are brave/stupid/insane/amazing...

[Burnside]

Frigging hell, you are brave/stupid/insane/amazing...

 

I think that's the new owners! My brother was getting worried about the possible sign's of DMF failure coupled by the heater resistor packing in again I think was the final straw.

 

The people who brought it, will most likely kill it off by the next Mot. If there car history is anything to go by. I felt slightly sorry for the Merde Wagon for some reason.

[puntopaul]

I think that's the new owners! My brother was getting worried about the possible sign's of DMF failure coupled by the heater resistor packing in again I think was the final straw.

 

The people who brought it, will most likely kill it off by the next Mot. If there car history is anything to go by. I felt slightly sorry for the Merde Wagon for some reason.

Don't... never was I so glad to see the back of a car!! Mind you I've now bought a 02 reg 1.6 Auto Ford focus with high mileage for £100, with a few months MOT. What can go wrong... probably everything....