so... did anyone see that car thing on channel 5?

[Guest]

I've got a great idea for a series. It's called 'I'm A Producer Being Run Over By A Sub £1000 Car'.

 

It's presented by two utter bell-ends. One's a Scouser called Peter The Cunt, the other a useless posho twat who allegedly went to North Cestrian.

 

Basically, Peter The Cunt would try in vain to buy an Alfa 33 or a beige J reg Proton, fail, buy a mint Allegro for £32* (actual results will vary) and then spend the rest of the programme bickering with a useless Czech twat who does 3 days of actual work whilst charging for a year's worth of labour. It's all in the Daily Mail, fucking unionists, etc.

After 16 cups of coffee and three hundred packs of cigarettes, Peter the Cunt despairs at the posho North Cestrian twat, who has bent all three keys to the car and called Peter the Cunt a cunt 437 times and achieved nothing despite being on set for 8 hours with a knackered 35mm camera of some description.

Every week Dan Hirst (played to perfection by Martin Buckley) would appear, offer some bewildering advice and disappear into the sunset before running over the second unit director \ runner \ producer with a car from his vast fleet.

 

Peter The Cunt and North Cestrian posho applaud with gusto, fade to black, credits, sponsorship from A1 Auto Mart, win an orbital buffer, PPI claim kony 2012 romney blah blah resale silver horse versus train combi boiler white moccassins not shite pumpe duse blah blah bollocks.

 

Nice idea, needs a stronger punchline, you ran out of steam towards the end?

 

maybe a musical instrument falling on a car?

 

Sorry, my copywriter is in fact a sentient K Series engine called Leonard.

[RedSparrow]

...Paul Ross to present.

[Justin Case]

Bring back William Woollard watching men in a shed building complete FSOs with nothing more than lump hammers and a woman with a posh voice giving a Yugo 45 some stick down Bristol Road in Birmingham

 

[Junkman]

BTT:

 

http://www.classiccarsforsale.co.uk/new ... n-exposed/

[Micrashed]

Bring back William Woollard watching men in a shed building complete FSOs with nothing more than lump hammers

True.

 

and a woman with a posh voice giving a Yugo 45 some stick down Bristol Road in Birmingham

Woman with posh voice gives subtitling software some trouble:

She goes on to say that she is a cup....

[RedSparrow]

BTT:

 

http://www.classiccarsforsale.co.uk/new ... n-exposed/

 

As shocking as Jimmy Saville being a kiddy fiddler and H from Steps being gay.

[Junkman]

I didn't write the article, I just came across it.

 

The only thing I am interested in is where I can buy an E-Type for £12k and have it restored for £8,000 within 28 days.

[retrogeezer]

Can I just add that 'Fast N Loud' is a pretty good show, annoying guitar based rock music aside they do actually lose money on the cars occasionally and it is much more 'real'.

[Junkman]

You haven't really lived unless you saw this horseshit:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT7qz-SCAq0

[RedSparrow]

Just stared watching yesterday's mini episode. You should see the rotter they plan to restore for a mere £1500.

This should be interesting!

 

Oh man 11 minutes in and they are already talking stripes, wide arches and a centre exhaust.

 

Sorry if I'm dragging this up again!

[In The Pit]

I thought last nights (the Mini) was one of the better ones, still had the fake accident in though, we've had a car reversing into something, rear suspension falls off after being jacked up, droping the windscreen and this week the car catches fire with Bernie doing his usual "wot the bloody 'ell is gaa'in onnn". To be fair ive found the series watchable, the techie bits from the voiceover are interesting and there is hardly ever any classic car tv shows on so atleast Channel 5 have given it a go its far better than most of this celebrity dancing chav talent junk that fills our screens.

 

Autoshite members should check out last nights episode on Demand5 as it features a Morris Ital.

 

http://www.channel5.com/shows/classic-c ... sodes/mini

[Junkman]

They should have ripped a nice 1275 out of a mint, low mileage Metro.

[Partridge]

I’ll leave this here... http://www.aronline.co.uk/blogs/2012/10 ... rrr-lease/