Farmer Fisher

[scaryoldcortina]

Farmer Fisher had a fine fat truck, you couldn't see the colour for the farmyard muck

In the front was a rabbit and a chicken and a duck

On the way to market.....

 

I'm sure the truck was a thorneycroft, with the reg FF1. I'm also sure there was a red mk10 jag poking out of a barn wearing FF2.

 

and in the back were Hogs, dogs, the farmyard cats,

Sows, cows, the farmyard rats,

Hares, mares, a pound of pears,

Billy goats (with hairy coats)

and a Horse (of course) and a ton of turnips

On the way to market....

 

Yeah, really. 100% sure of that. Probably a tad overloaded for a 30's 4 tonne lorry, but farmers, eh?

 

Farmer Fisher pulled the choke, and off they drove in a cloud of smoke

rattle went the tappets and the crankshaft broke

on the way to market...

 

oh, oops.. that sounds serious. Was that the only damage?

 

and with it went the Oil, the coil, the piston rings,

the steering, gearing, valves and the springs

the doors, the floors and a lot more things

on the way to market..

 

Oh dear. Not going anywhere then. Better head for home and call it a day then...

 

First to stop was an ancient Ford

With a big spare wheel on the running board

and a noise which could not be ignored

On the way to market

 

hey, that's nice.. people stopping to help. No matter if he is an angry looking type driving a 30's Y type pickup...

 

They tied it to the farmer's truck (couldn't see the colour for the farmyard muck)

In the front was a rabbit and a chicken and a duck,

on the way to market..

The ford revved up to take the load

up it speeded....down it slowed

and the gearbox fell out in the road

on the way to market

 

Ah well, known fault with those, happens all the time. Fix it in a jiffy...

 

and with it went the Oil, the coil, the piston rings,

the steering, gearing, valves and the springs

the doors, the floors and a lot more things

on the way to market..

 

shite. I hope someone else stops...

 

Next to stop was a smart saloon,

in a tasteful shade of dark maroon

Licenced up to the end of june,

on the way to market.

They tied it to the ancient ford (with the big spare wheel on the running board)

tied onto the farmer's truck (couldn't see the colour for the farmyard muck)

in the front was a rabbit and a chicken and a duck

on the way to market

 

Ok, I can see an MG magnette driven by a woman in her 50's succesfully towing both the ford and the ancient thorneycroft full of livestock and turnips all the way to wherever this market is with no problems. Carry on.

 

The smart saloon was hard to beat, it pulled them over thirty feet

when the engine fell out in the street

on the way to market....

 

Ah, well, you see.... won'tt your warranty cover that? Oh. Ok. damn. err.... someone else will stop soon I'm sure.

 

 

I'm gonna stop there. This song has haunted me for 30 years (I do know all the rest) I'm just wondering if anyone else remembers it, or better still has a copy of the book and the 45 single that came with it. I have neither, there is next to nothing on the net. I'm pretty clear on what it all looks like and the words (and the tune) but I want to be sure that it is actually real and I'm not mad.

[garycox]

Ahem.

 

http://www.myspace.com/jonathonxcoudrille

 

[scaryoldcortina]

aha! thanks.. I found that myspace the last time my memory got jogged into farmer fisher but it didn't have the song on. Autofive will probably also be glad it's real and not something I made up. This is almost as good as finally getting a copy of Bob Godfrey's "Great".

 

 

ps. Someone posted a pic of a golf? with "scene stealer" as the caption. That's what did it.

 

 

is it just me, or does the song crap out after 40 seconds? That's very irritating to say the least.

[Guest]

Farmer Fisher here,

 

thanks for your commentary, the Thorneycroft was originally a GWR parcels truck, (notice the 'Fieldmarshall' tractor? A huge single cyl. engine with a mighty flywheel. To start it you screwed in a 12-bore blank and hit it with a hammer. True.) - the Maroon Saloon is a Rover 25; the orange guy is a Bond Bug, the big guys are Caddys, (the Lim. is a 1936 V-16. Really!!) Petrol head? me?

 

Sorry that the Myspace thing is unreliable; all those fallible vintage shot-rods must have discouraged the software -

but, NEWSFLASH!!! FARMER FISHER THE NEW FORMAT EDITION is available now from Footsteps Press, http://www.footsteps.co and the songs, (both sides) are downloadable. Slight glitsch, owing to file compression I sound fourteen and, it's in Ab instead of G; rectification underway as we speak I SINCERELY HOPE...

 

best regards, J.

[messerschmitt owner]

oooh - that's rare to see!

 

a spam posting that is genuinely interesting and informative

 

hello Farmer Fisher

 

I have at home a Field Marshall badge - just saving up for the rest of it ... Single-pot diesels, don't you just love 'em.

[synx508]

I hadn't spotted this thread, but now I have I suppose I should point out that I have the original book and 45rpm vinyl *somewhere*. A really inspired work of quirky genius that I loved as a child and still hold in great affection. Thanks, Jonathon, for many hours of amusement.

[Cavcraft]

Farmer Fisher had a fine fat truck, you couldn't see the colour for the farmyard muck

In the front was a rabbit and a chicken and a duck

On the way to market.....

 

I'm sure the truck was a thorneycroft, with the reg FF1. I'm also sure there was a red mk10 jag poking out of a barn wearing FF2.

 

and in the back were Hogs, dogs, the farmyard cats,

Sows, cows, the farmyard rats,

Hares, mares, a pound of pears,

Billy goats (with hairy coats)

and a Horse (of course) and a ton of turnips

On the way to market....

 

Yeah, really. 100% sure of that. Probably a tad overloaded for a 30's 4 tonne lorry, but farmers, eh?

 

[i]Farmer Fisher pulled the choke, and off they drove in a cloud of smoke

rattle went the tappets and the crankshaft broke

on the way to market...[/i]

 

oh, oops.. that sounds serious. Was that the only damage?

 

and with it went the Oil, the coil, the piston rings,

the steering, gearing, valves and the springs

the doors, the floors and a lot more things

on the way to market.. [/i]

 

Oh dear. Not going anywhere then. Better head for home and call it a day then...

 

First to stop was an ancient Ford

With a big spare wheel on the running board

and a noise which could not be ignored

On the way to market

 

hey, that's nice.. people stopping to help. No matter if he is an angry looking type driving a 30's Y type pickup...

 

They tied it to the farmer's truck (couldn't see the colour for the farmyard muck)

In the front was a rabbit and a chicken and a duck,

on the way to market..

The ford revved up to take the load

up it speeded....down it slowed

and the gearbox fell out in the road

on the way to market

 

Ah well, known fault with those, happens all the time. Fix it in a jiffy...

 

and with it went the Oil, the coil, the piston rings,

the steering, gearing, valves and the springs

the doors, the floors and a lot more things

on the way to market.. [/i]

 

shite. I hope someone else stops...

 

Next to stop was a smart saloon,

in a tasteful shade of dark maroon

Licenced up to the end of june,

on the way to market.

They tied it to the ancient ford (with the big spare wheel on the running board)

tied onto the farmer's truck (couldn't see the colour for the farmyard muck)

in the front was a rabbit and a chicken and a duck

on the way to market

 

Ok, I can see an MG magnette driven by a woman in her 50's succesfully towing both the ford and the ancient thorneycroft full of livestock and turnips all the way to wherever this market is with no problems. Carry on.

 

The smart saloon was hard to beat, it pulled them over thirty feet

when the engine fell out in the street

on the way to market....

 

Ah, well, you see.... won'tt your warranty cover that? Oh. Ok. damn. err.... someone else will stop soon I'm sure.

 

 

I'm gonna stop there. This song has haunted me for 30 years (I do know all the rest) I'm just wondering if anyone else remembers it, or better still has a copy of the book and the 45 single that came with it. I have neither, there is next to nothing on the net. I'm pretty clear on what it all looks like and the words (and the tune) but I want to be sure that it is actually real and I'm not mad.

 

 

End verse missing?

 

So Farmer Fisher uttered his last f*cks

and took it back to Iveco trucks.

Who said 'there's nothing wrong' you daft old tw@t,

don't worry mate, they all do that'

 

So in a state of rage and fit, he started up the heap of sh*t,

amid burning electrics and failing brake, upon himself he did take

to drive the b*stard through the showroom glass, and park it up the salesman's arse.

Now Farmer Fisher frets no more, as back and forth he rocks once more,

tied up on asylum floor, Ivecos don't bother him no more.

[Richard]

?

[scaryoldcortina]

err, wow! an audience with the author, and better still he seems to have googled us....

 

I had guessed you may be a petrol head as well as a musician. I too am both, although when I first met Fmr F I was 8. The book and single are long gone (although rather tantalizingly a box of records recently dumped on me by my folks contains "farmer fisher's russian holiday" - record only, no book) so I only have my memory. I'm quite chuffed that i've been playing it in G all these years

 

One thing.... Rover 25? surely it would be a p4 and therefore a 75? I don't recall the 25 designation being used before 1999.... I guessed at magnette because all I remember is a Brit 4 door saloon. I bet there is a small girl with pigtails in the back, making faces...

[Guest]

Hi scaryoldcortina,

no, the 25 was a BIG car; this is similar: http://www.classiccarsforsale.co.uk/cla ... -16-H&H-11, longer in the snout than the four-pots, comparable to the glorious Wolseley 25 hp; this old HP rating may seem mickey-mouse by today's huge bhp figures; it was calculated by how many horses it took to raise a weight a certain distance at a certain speed, I believe; arcane and bizarre tho' it seems. 25 hp was what you reckoned from a 3.5+ litre engine, vide the 'little' Rolls Royce 20/25 cars. My father had a Ford V8 rated at 30 hp; so, about a 4-litre; and I had the euphoria - for a wild while - of an Allard with a Mercury engine that I believe was rated at 45hp.

but back to the Rover; I could be misremembering the name of the model; the one in the FF book belonged to the father of a girl I dated, so I might have been distracted... but Rover did produce a handful of supercars among the saloons for lesser stockbrokers. Check out the Marauder!

 

best

J

[scaryoldcortina]

Ah, it's earlier than I remember then... P2? (remember, I haven't seen the illustrations in 3 decades...) I know about the (rather odd) horsepower rating that takes account of bore but not stroke though...

 

One thing that did stay with me entirely though...

 

Farmer Fisher chose his course

with a feeling allied to remorse

He went to the back, and he fetched his Horse....

And the horse, of course, pulled the tonne of turnips

All the way to market

 

Only one horsepower, but runs on water and oats