CASH 4 KIDZ! Random memories?

[Cavcraft]

Anyone got any random car memories to tell?I don't know why, but I suddenly remembered one this morning:I was trying to off-load a bloody horrible Seat Ibiza OMG WTF System Porsche thing a few years back and received a call from a very odd sound fella.He asked all kinds of stupid questions including what colour is it, the standard 'WOTZ LOWEST PRICE 4 CASH' and the usual rubbish.Anyhow pretty sure he wouldn't actually show up so wasn't counting any chickens. Until an hour or so later he's outside calling me on the 'phone. So off I toddle to find some very odd looking fat bint in a fur coat and a bloke who looked like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards and then fed to the lions a bit.Now I'm not a big fan of fur coats or the wearers of them so not a good start, and all the while I'm thinking I know this couple from somewhere.Only those bleeding vile 'CASH 4 KIDS' foreign baby adopting fruitcakes Alan and Judith Kilshaw. They had a whine about press intrusion and people going through their bins, made a cr4p offer and left promising to return but never did.Pair of bloody minebags trying to haggle over a £200 car with loads of test, but gutted they didn't come back as I was going to drain the oil out before they returned.Bring on the random tales...

[j-j]

That amused me

[Hudsonpie]

MMMM this springs to mind......got a phone call from a guy who used to rent out small industrial units. He was moaning about a damaged car that had been seemingly abandoned and would I mind moving it, he just said it was a black Astra. I turned up with the recovery and was surprised to see a tidy but dinked in the front corner MK1 Astra GTE. It had obviously been there a while and had been broken into before and had council stickers on it. There was no one around to ask as it was a sunday, and matey wasnt answering his phone so I loaded up and headed home.A few weeks later I was visiting a friend in the same town, and a visit to the pub was well under way when we overheard a guy in the bar moaning his Astra had been nicked....ooops....! By the time we found out the car had already been stipped and bits sold off.....so we decided to keep quiet....Also, used to take Volvos from a specialist garage to use for racing. The manger gave me a lead on a Granada that somebody wanted shot of.I went round to see it only to find a bare shell of a car with no bonnet or boot lid gassed springs and the ID chopped out. The geezers hawking it were well dodgy but they only wanted twenty quid so I loaded up and buggered off.It was obviously pinched but it had been through lots of hands and there really was nothing left worth worrying about, but I still was a bit uncomfortable about having it in the yard for too long. Anyway, we used to have this guy always popping in on the scrounge...."Have you got this...? Have you got that....?"....."Sell me one of your Granadas....please please, oh go on....." Always on the want.....So naturally I sold him the stolen one for fifty notes and he went on his merry way. About a month later he turns up in the yard saying that it had been stolen along with a begged borrowed and stolen engine, box H frame etc. Silly cunt had left it out in the open in a field in full view of a dual carriageway.Anyway I was stood in the pub one day and a guy walks up...."Oh you do bangers....wanna buy a built Granada...?" It was the same car..... And this...I used to own a really nice Cortina estate, got it off my grand dad and it was mint. One day I was out with the girlfriend and her young son taking the dog for a walk. We had finished our walk and I had just pulled out of the car park when we were T-boned really hard and spun around in the road only to end up in the hedge. I jumped out to make sure everybody was ok, the girlfriend was having a fit, the kid was crying,and the dog was going mental.....and my nice Cortina was wrecked....I looked around, no other car. Just some broken glass and bits of tim.The force of the impact had ripped the subframe forwards and blown a tyre, so I started to put the spare on whilst being absolutely fucking fuming that the other driver had buggered off.A couple of minutes later I could hear some rustling in the brambles across and down the road a bit, and some body saying "Help meeeeee...."I ran across to find matey had hit my car, slithered across the road, into a ditch and was up side down hidden from view.Once I made sure he was ok and he KNEW it was his fault.....my girlfriend proceeded to give him a hiding, I had to hold her down.....The trusy Cortina still drove although it was toeing in a bit, we managed to get home. Dunno about matey we just left him there....Sorry got carried away

[Waderider]

In my dad's Austin 1300 I have fond memories of the front suspension failing as we went round the Donaghadee Road roundabout. Pre-seatbelts, little bro in the middle of the back seat headbutted the windscreen. Didn't do him much harm. When BL said kingpins needed regular greasing, they really meant every five miles.Volkswagen Bay window HOI 1179, put a push rod through the block in the centre of Belfast. The near death experience here was for the van - once abandoned at the side of the road, without the call to the Royal Ulster Constabulary it was prime for a controlled explosion as a suspect vehicle.I remember getting into trouble as a teenager for getting mums mini home at all hours. What had happened was I had been 'visiting' the remote Torr Head car park, and the car couldn't climb the steep hill out. Still not sure why, it kept losing power (maybe 25% gradient) I suspect it was fuel starvation or flooding carburettor. Did the hill in multiple stages, with half an hour between stops.

[FredTransit]

We used to walk past a very neglected Mk2 LWB luton on dog walks, it was road legal but covered in graffiti and was obviously been used for storage. I left more than one 'wanna sell this' note on it, but never heard anything. One day a mate of mine who lives 30 miles away rang and said a customer of his (he's a mechanic) wanted to sell his Mk2 luton and thought I would be interested. He then went on to tell me it was quite neglected though, and the navy and pale blue paint was hardly visible under the extensive graffiti. The reg is B***AYB I said (I actually didn't remember all of the numbers) and there was a long silence. How the fook did you know that? I considered telling him I was psychic, but told him the truth. It was usually parked less than a mile away, and I had to go on a 60 mile round trip to fetch it! Turns out her 7 or 8 years as a cupboard did her some favours (though not the paint). The MOTs prove she's still not over 80,000 miles (though no longer on her original pinto).

[shite_meister]

Back in the mid eighties when I were a nipper in the back of a BL Princess travelling along a country road I deceided to sit on top of my bodywarmer so I could see out of the windows properly and lent against the inside of the RH rear door to see out...and fell out of the car, I was bloody luck really that I managed to just hang on but I was dragged along the road, also lucky that I didn't crush my legs under the rear wheels or that there wasn't a car coming the opposite way.My older brother just sat there looking at me.

[Station]

I once went to a scrapyard, and started to take a door (window/mirror) loom from an Omega. At that point, a customer came out of the office and enquired why I was taking his Omega apart.Also, in the same yard, I was minding my own business, took what I wanted and when I went to the office, found that everyone had gone home and they had shut for the night. Lucky they didn't use some kind of canine security. I had to scale the 12 foot gate to get out.

[Cavcraft]

Oh, another one.Many, many moons back (1971-ish I think) we were on holiday in my dad's Austin 3-litre company car in Devon.He slammed on hard at a roundabout in the dark and an ADO16 crashed into the back of him, smashed the shit out of the ADo16 and barely a mark on my dad's car.He got out to check the other driver was ok and exchange insurance details and in the back of the other car was my brother's mate from school in Cheshire, it was his dad who'd crashed into my dad's car!

[Richard]

In 1986 my father's wife got a newish Volvo 240 saloon. One Saturday she took me into town and sent me to get something while she waited on double yellows. When I got back she had gone but the Volvo was still there and unlocked so I got in. After a few minutes I went to put the radio on but it wasn't there, it was at the top of the dash. It wasn't our car at all, it wasn't even the same colour. As I got out there was a traffic warden preparing to write a ticket. "Is this your car?" he asked the scruffy, loutish 17 year old version of me. I started to try and explain, but decided it would make more sense to run away.

[mouseflakes]

I once went to a scrapyard, and started to take a door (window/mirror) loom from an Omega. At that point, a customer came out of the office and enquired why I was taking his Omega apart.

Hee hee! I like that one.