Amazing breakdowns

[Zelandeth]

Not so much notable for the breakdown itself, but definitely the most terrifying recovery I've been involved in was helping a mate retrieve a stricken coach at one point a good few years ago.  I *think* it was a pretty late AEC Regent, though I could be wrong.  It wasn't one of our "usual" vehicles, so we both approached it with a certain degree of trepidation.

 

If memory serves, the cause of the failure to proceed was quickly diagnosed as catastrophic engine failure.  Catastrophic in the "we had to spend half an hour sweeping bits of it off the road before we could start home" sort of failure.  Oh, look...there's a bit of con rod!...Hey, think I've found a bit of a big end bearing shell...You get the idea, it's never good when you start finding bits of the innards of the engine half a mile before you get to the site of the breakdown...  So we didn't mess around, it was hooked up to the tow bar, prop removed, brakes wound off and off we went.  Tow vehicle in this case being a hacked about monstrosity which started out as a Leyland Leopard.  I do not to this day know what power unit it had been retrofitted with at some point in its life, but it definitely had far more horses than any other Leopard I've driven.  Also unlike any other Leopard I've driven, it stops as well as it goes.

 

This was February in Aberdeenshire...And it was getting towards dusk when we started out...and it was raining.  The wipers in said coach were pneumatic, and I knew that I only had so much air to play with, so held off using them except for where it was absolutely necessary - the lack of power steering meant that I was being kept pretty busy anyway trying to keep up with following the tow vehicle...which didn't seem to be in the slightest slowed down by having an extra ten or so tonnes of coach hanging off the back of it.

 

Of course, two inevitable things then happened.  The first being that I ran out of air...hence also ran out of windscreen wipers.  The driver's side one of course stopped smack in the middle of the screen for maximum annoyance.  The second was that it got dark.  I quickly discovered that the only lights that I had which worked were the corner markers (I could see they were working in the mirrors), but had no headlights.  This meant that my entire attention became absolutely focused on following the single working tail light on the recovery truck.  This went absolutely fine until we negotiated a sharp up hill left turn.  At this point two things happened in quick succession.  One, the passenger door swung open.  This was in itself annoying, as it let in a small gale and what felt like every raindrop in the northeastern corner of Scotland...however the thing that happened about half a second after the door opened was far, far worse for me.  The step, front cabin and driver's cab interior lights all came on.  Suddenly all I could see in the windscreen was a perfect reflection of my utterly terrified looking face.

 

Could I reach the master switch from the driver's seat?  Could I hell!  The following half hour or so was without exception the most harrowing driving experience of my life.  I basically just had to use a combination of my own memory of the road, some guesswork and attempting to feel where I was getting dragged. 

 

My mate wandered over and looked slightly baffled at the expression on my face and the death grip I was holding the steering wheel in when we arrived.  It took him a good ten seconds to figure out what had happened, at which point he near pissed himself laughing.

 

It makes a good story now, but it was absolutely fluffing terrifying at the time!

 

Despite that, I still bloody miss those times!  We had some good laughs back then.

[Partridge]

Having an output shaft fall out of my XJ8 while I was still driving it was pretty bloody "amazing".

My Xantia swallowing a core plug, then proceeding to compress it, all the way out of the block and onto the road was also "amazing".

[Dan_ZTT]

I shared a 2004 Polo with my mother (a few years back) and while in the middle lane of the M25 the accelerator pedal abruptly decided to stop working. No noises, no other signals, electrical gremlins maybe? I coasted it to the hard shoulder, called the AA, then after 15 minutes rest it started back up just fine, only to disappear again 2 minutes later. Got a tow home and my parents traded it in soon after, still no idea what was really up with it.

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

3 memorable ones from me...……

 

1. - Child me - 11yrs old, Dad had a coke-bottle Cortina Mk3 2000XL - lovely thing. Played cambelt roulette and lost on our summer holidays going to relatives in Devizes. Huge clatter and thwapping noises… lost it all. Uncle Jack was a lorry driver - fleet of old chod - mostly knackered. Turned up 3hrs alter with a Skoda Rapide…. to tow a holiday laden Cortina Mk3 and the 5 family members! Needless to say it went rough as a badgers bits until the next steep hill where it turned to catastrophe and he fucked the clutch on the skoda too…… both cars rolled in defeat back to halfway down the hill into the pub car park..... both recovered on a mates low-loader the next day and holiday was replacing the belt, clutch on the skoda and we did a Viva too - for a laugh. Best holiday EVER

 

2. - 17yr old me - first car - A BGT! Shady garage had it standing too long, I didn't know of the propensity of the fibre cranks seals to dry out and spew oil everywhere if left too long...… Bought, took off on a 300mile trip up north (I never fucking learn!) and it gradually got worse. I made it home but it was revving its tits off. Local guy recommended - just bad timing apparently - I went south, paid up and would pick up on return... came back - car still outside and no life in garage - he'd divorced, lost his shit and packed in - all in that month……… but car was apparently 'fixed'

Made it back to Norfolk - all ok...… sounded iffy and I was 'going to look at it' that weekend. Gorgeous girl I was after (stacked!) wanted to spend the weekend at het Great Yarmouth seafront so I was persuaded. Coming off the front - up a bank to main route back to Norwich - bang, clatter, smoke and death…… rod thrown. Timing chain (no idea why he'd been in that end of the engine) was fucked/damaged and had given up the ghost. Turned out the new clutch was under the load cover in the back - he'd burnt off the oil on the original! It was out - just fucking swap it!!!! Makes me mad even now that one …..

 

3. - Ex's Suzuki Alto...… their local rip-off dealership had bilked her for a fortuned for it's fist - FIRST - TuV inspection. Welding etc.... required! I was already livid and had discovered that places weren't done properly either. We were heading to a wedding near her folks place from Brussels. Lost power in the outside lane of the autobahn…… discovered the throttle linkage had come adrift - I shredded the rear wiper and used the metal insert to bodge it...… all OK for 100kms then died completely. The inlet manifold hadn't been tightened! It was hanging from het engine as the bolts/nuts had gradually worked themselves loose…….. the car was a deathtrap.

I did have my revenge…………

[iainrcz]

My Panda snapped that many clutch cables it got boring replacing them.

I used to carry a spare. I'm still waiting for share dividends from Quinton Hazell.

 

The clutch cable went on my fiesta, and to this day I don't know how I did it, but I fixed it by packing something with 2p pieces at the side of the road.

It still worked fine when I sold it about 6 months later.

 

My 508 GT decided (aided by bodgery in its past) to try and launch one of its injectors in to the bottom of the bonnet, amidst a cloud of soot and noise. Meant I got to borrow a 1.6 petrol Ford Focus estate, cheers.

 

 

 

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