K11 to the rescue.

[Father Ted]

Phone call from the mother in law to the wife this afternoon. she is up in some god awful place walking the hills with some other daft woman and says " what does it mean if the car wont start?"Wife hands me phone, so I say, any lights on dash, yes, does it dim when the key is turned, yes. Battery borked and you need a jump start? Are you on a hill? No, oh. Are you in the AA/ RAC? No, oh.Bollocks, its 60 miles away. Still it gave me enough time to have the cars radio switched on for the "cod" display to come up again, tried a number, didnt work oh well only another hour...Found them on some desolate car park in this K reg corolla, 30 seconds of K11 powahhh and Corolla splutters into life with almost every electrical ancilliary switched on Woman insists its a new battery despite being a Toyota branded one date stamped week 41 /92. Yarrrr riiiiight.Advice to MIL, if going walkig with barking woman again pack mobile phone with credit, cgharger, purse and RAC card Then I had to follow them home to make sure they didt conk again, what does the mad bint do? Stop at the dotted line on the motorway slip road with her indicator on waiting to pull out

[STUNO]

Phone call from the mother in law daft woman says " what does it mean if the car wont start?"Wife hands me phone, so I say, you need a jump start? Are you on a hill? No, AA/ RAC? No, Bollocks, its 60 miles away. well only another hour...30 seconds of K11 powahhh and Corolla splutters into life almost every electrical ancilliary switched on insists its a new battery what does the mad bint do? Stop at the dotted line on the motorway slip road with her indicator on waiting to pull out

Couldn't help a slight newspaper edit on that to help with family relationships etc

[Guest Tony Hayers]

Mighty Micra Shat pants time with the stoppping on the slip road lark

[VWPowered]

my ex was a transport manager and we had to drive 300 miles to deliver tickets for a dog show, as we had just put her car in the garage for minor repairs we decided to take the mk1 golf...1.1 engine, slammed, full cage, stripped interior, loud and hard as hell...all there faces when we arrived priceless... painful but priceless..