Safest* winter motoring

[forddeliveryboy]

Rather than the 'how sensible*' or 'how reliable' winter shite, how about the least safe? Discoveries and other 'by far' Lawn Rovers do at least have a heater to melt the ice inside and have four wheels, even if they are as top-heavy as a cruise liner. But some cars are even less desirable for winter. Rotting Alfas, perhaps with sticking throttles? Peugeots/Citroens with worn rear arm bearings and tyres made in China for desert service? Every BMW ever made?

 

None of these was daft enough for me. My piece of winter sense began in a hot summer when I bought a half-finshed plastic bathtub with a 2cv engine hanging out of the front. My four wheeled crock died in November. To increase brain function to the highest levels in snow, it had three wheels. At least the lonely one was behind you. As well as making the thing approach the magic ton-up - its Plod previous owner had managed to make it go even slower than a 2cv with a choice of air filter which was baffling - I also made it corner without leaning beyond 45 degrees. I placed the oil cooler inside the 'car', to make the 60mph (for that was as fast as you could travel when the air was below 6 or 7C) almost bearable, for your legs and feet at least. After ten miles.

 

I covered 12,000 miles in the year, then sold it. Huge fun was had, but I wouldn't do it again in winter. The pics below are of a similar car - I didn't think leather straps, a hamper or 'wire' wheels suited a piece of plastic bolted where a 2cv's body had once rusted.

[Junkman]

Optimal* weight distribution, Big Block and crossplies FTW: