Using current shite to predict future shite

[Formula Autos]

OK, here's an idea. Our beloved shite has its own place in the car market - usually near the bottom. It got there for various reasons - probably being old and worthless being the most common. Sometimes though, the process has been accelerated by the public's perception of the car.

 

It's a hell of a leap, but I was wondering if (for mainly comic purposes, it has to be said) we could describe a piece of current tat (or even stuff that was tat in the past but is now considered 'classic') and see if this may guide us to any future tat.

 

Some examples:

 

Current tat:

AR Metro

A relatively simple car derived from the underpinnings of an older model from the manufacturers' range. Engines are old but proven. The car rusts like a bastard at an early age and many are scrapped before their contemporary rivals. Sporty models aren't all that fast but employ all the typical 'go faster' goodies of the period to at least make them look the part.

 

Future tat prediction that also matches above description:

Ford Ka

 

 

Current tat:

Austin Allegro

Perceived as strange looking, but this doesn't seem to have put the punters off all that much. Wouldn't be mistaken for any of its rivals at a glance. Boot space/ usability sacrificed for some unknown reason. Estate version looks much better. Various 'niggles' appear during its production life and depress seconhand values even further. Some gimmicks employed to give a weird kind of showroom appeal.

 

Future tat prediction:

Meganes with an arse

 

 

Current tat:

Proton MPi

Recycled wholesale with nary an attempt to disguise its origins. The original product was from a much more highly regarded manufacturer, and the recycling is used to offer the same (albeit now slightly outdated) product at a lower price. Grudgingly accepted by the motoring press as OK for the price.

 

Future tat prediction:

SEAT Exeo

 

Current tat:

Talbot Tagora

A large but strangely cachet-free car from a manufacturer better known for churning out much smaller models. A sales disaster and relatively obscure even when in its youth. There appeared to be little reason for its sale in the UK. Almost all shitists would though. In a heartbeat.

 

Future tat prediction:

Hyundai XG

 

 

Current tat:

Morris Marina

The manufacturer went with not they knew here, churning out more of the same for mainly the company car market, although private sales were strong - perhaps as a result of the extensive dealer network than anything else. The press noticed something amiss at launch and the car was relatively hastily revised. Restyles kept the same basic design in production for over a decade and even when its successor came along it wasn't immediately culled, but ran in parallel with its replacement for a while.

 

Future tat prediction:

'90 onwards (MK 5, 5a, 6, etc.) Escorts

 

Any more examples like this that you can all think of?

[Rocket88]

Rover P6............revolutionary but conventional at the same time

Citroen C6...........pretty much the same, although it looks very Citroeny and futuristic, is all pretty conventional luxery end of market stuff