This must be a horrible thing to drive....

[Guest EccentricRichard]

Hmm. If you read any magazine in the world, it'll tell you that a Jag XJR is a fast car and handles very well for something of its size. CAR magazine used to label them as "Steroid cars".

 

If you read the same magazines, it'll tell you that a Fiat Cinquecento Sporting is a buzzy little thing that is enjoyable to drive and nippy in the bends, but it isn't fast.

 

My mate Rik has a Cinquecento Sporting which is slightly tweaked, better shocks, bigger wheels, sticky tyres and a few other tweaks. I was following him down some twisty lanes earlier in my 326 bhp, RWD, Steroid car. Could only just keep up with the bloody Cinque as the little Fiat could avoid most of the bumps that the Jag couldn't with being on big fat sticky steroidal tyres. This meant that the Ãœberfast Jag's traction control kept interfering - I wasn't gonna switch it off on damp, leaf strewn lanes - killing the power and slowing progress somewhat. On any straight that didn't have bumps the Jag could easy catch the little Cinque, but the lane was too bumpy to give it beans.

 

End result was pretty much a draw, but the Fiat will have been more fun. The Jag was just a big fat handful, but probably less of a handful than an M5 or E55 would have been. Don't tell you that in magazines...

 

I can well believe it. Autocar have just run a head-to-head test of the just-discontinued BMW M5 (507bhp, RWD) versus a VW Scirocco (about half the power, FWD) and the Scirocco was apparently just as fast and sometimes even faster over windy B-roads. The reason for this seemingly chalk-and-cheese road-test? Well, it did prove a point - and said M5 (used) was for sale for about the same as a new Scirocco. Ultimately, it all comes down to weight... which is why I quite like the idea of a BMW straight-six in a Caterham (I've heard it's been done).

[Guest EccentricRichard]

Oh, absolutely, unexpected oversteer isn't nice... but when it's planned for on a nice empty B-road, it's very enjoyable.

 

How would you know, you cannot drive?

 

Probably interupts the DVD of High School Musical, spills his pop and crisps all over the back seat. That can't be nice can it.

 

High School Musical? Gimme a fucking break. More likely to be Led Zeppelin's The Song Remains The Same - but not in the car.

[scaryoldcortina]

High School Musical? Gimme a fucking break. More likely to be Led Zeppelin's The Song Remains The Same - but not in the car.

 

Oh good god. I bet you even have the Madison Sq Gdns T-Shirt despite being 30 odd years too young to have been there.

 

I don't know, but I've been told, BMW engines have got some soul...

 

I don't care if you are real or not. It's open season pisstaking time now.

[Pete-M]

[M'coli]

Bored now.

[Mr Lobster]

[AnthonyG]

I have a feeling EccentricDicks first discovery of 'soulful rear driven wheels biting at the edge of traction' will result in a car meets hedge/ditch scenario.

 

This will no doubt really piss off his dad!

[HereHareHere]

Say what you like about this feisty young contrarian - his apostrophe skillz are GR9.

[garethj]

Ultimately, it all comes down to weight... which is why I quite like the idea of a BMW straight-six in a Caterham (I've heard it's been done).

 

Do you like BMWs? You should have said

 

If it's all about weight then wouldn't a bike engine be better? My old 4 cylinder bike would zip around to 12000rpm very nicely. Although that's with hardly any weight to hold it back.

 

Perhaps we'd appreciate your thoughts on that after reading some bike magazines

[Pete-M]

BMW straight sixes weigh about the same as the moon. Caterhams weigh about the same as an empty crisp packet.

 

So, if you bolted the moon into an empty crisp packet, would it oversteer or understeer?

 

We should be told. As I can't persuade MM5 to grab a tig welder and have a go, there's only one man to ask.

 

 

Or is there?

[scaryoldcortina]

Eccentric Richard, you are talking out of Uranus

[Owain-328i]

BMW straight sixes weigh about the same as the moon. Caterhams weigh about the same as an empty crisp packet.

 

So, if you bolted the moon into an empty crisp packet, would it oversteer or understeer?

 

We should be told. As I can't persuade MM5 to grab a tig welder and have a go, there's only one man to ask.

 

 

Or is there?

 

The newer alloy blocked ones are quite light, anything M52 onwards.

[fiatdaft]

probably because of the porosity.

[Guest]

 

I don't care if you are real or not. It's open season pisstaking time now.

 

I wonder why that might be?

 

Come on, have a think about it.

 

You're gibbering on about things you can't possibly have done. Stay around if you want (feel free), but please don't clutter the board up with drivel. If there was a real point to what you were posting I might be sympathetic. Sadly there isn't, so I can't be.

 

I'm off now in my understeer central Eurobox. I may be a bit old, and a bit shit, but I do at least have a valid DL.

[ashmicro]

The worst car I ever drove was possibly this massive pile of shit (or the Ax Diseasel)

 

 

Didn't go, didn't stop (even after a full on brake rebuild). When sitting stationary on the crown of the road waiting to turn right, it would bounce it's front wheels up and down. There was nothing technically amiss with it, and it never failed an MOT. It was just shit. Thankfully, it is now dead.

[chaseracer]

Didn't go, didn't stop ...

This brings to mind the worst car I ever drove which, as well as not starting or stopping, offered the additional bonus of not running properly either.

 

Ladeez n gennlemen, the 1992 Ford Sierra Azura...

 

 

Jesus wept

[Timewaster]

^^^^^I had a blue one of those on a K

 

THE worst car I have ever owned!

 

How else could you describe a car that imploded its own engine within 3 hours of buying it?!

 

I didn't own it long enough to take a photo and it was last seen on a banger racers hiab.

[Negative Creep]

I love Sierras, mine was nice to drive as well as being the most reliable car I've ever owned

[Timewaster]

I love Sierras, mine was nice to drive as well as being the most reliable car I've ever owned

 

Generally I love Sierras too, but that Azure was a disaster.

 

My mechanic mate ran one, a 2.0 Gee-har as a mobile workshop - ie boot full of tools (and I mean FULL) and thrashed it everywhere and serviced it only when it refused to start. It took 5 years of this apalling abuse.

The Mk4 Escrote that replaced it lasted 3 months.

 

I thought if they could stand that abuse then I'd get one.

The first Sierra I bought I still have. Its fairly nippy

The Azure came later and was going to be a daily hack.

[Tayne]

.

[Volksy]

This POS

 

 

[eddyramrod]

My parents had two Sierras, both 2.0, and both of which I drove often; in fact one was the last car they ever had. I had Mk3 and Mk5 Cortinas, also 2.0, and without a doubt the best car of the four by a long margin was the Mk5 2.0GL Auto. It was a massive improvement on the car that was designed to replace it, in every way that mattered. However I couldn't describe any of the other cars in this paragraph as "worst ever" as they were all pretty competent in most ways. Where the Sierras really badly fell down was the claustrophobic interior and over-use of plastics. They call it progress, I'm told...

[brammy777]

I suppose there must be some sort of irony in the fact that a picture I took of a Sierra is used to illustrate chaseracers hate for that particular model

[HMC]

Morris Minor

 

Looking back it was a right shocker, worn syrchros, brakes that steered the car in unpredictable directions, duff shockers, and a dodgy leaf spring that caused rear steering on sharp corners.

 

At the time I just adapted my driving style, and didnt think too badly of it, especially as it was a free car. Not having any sort of comparison to benchmark it against I guess. But it never failed to get me where I was going, and improved it as I went allong. Oddly enough I had a great time running that car!

[eddyramrod]

I don't recognise this thread now... people who have actually driven cars are talking about cars they have actually driven! Are we ill?

[Futuramic]

Why was somebody saying it must be great to have a BMW straight six in Caterham? Do the denizens of Surrey like that layout or something.

 

I hear it's truly spiffing to have a Perkins Prima in Snodland.

 

Or a Belt Driven Type A in Basildon.

 

I'll stop now.

 

This is hideous to drive:

 

 

It has an alternatively sticky and bouncy clutch. The brakes are soft, yet grabby and the gear lever is upsettingly dildo-esque on the early ones. Age also makes the gaiter bit sag like post bowel incontinence incident granny pants. The cheapy stick bit is then revealed with the funny dildo head stuck atop it.

 

one may ask oneself why I preserve such vitriol for the Focus gear lever. Because I have to spend so much of the bloody time using it! The engine is woeful in these things. In the basic 1.8 "turbo" diesel anyway. I hear the petrol versions are quite good; but work won't pay for that. The seats are too high, the steering wheel is plastic, and the engine isn't very good.

 

Did I mention the engine? It is as smooth and pleasurable as being beaten around the face with an empty wine bottle. It rattles, it smokes, it breaks down.

 

Handling is not what it is alleged to be either. With the ESP off the chassis throws a wobbly and tries to eject the car from the opposite side of any corner.

 

The Mk1 this replaced was actually quite good. Which is interesting.

[Pete-M]

I ran an '84 911 Carrera 3.2 for a while a few years ago.

 

Fabulous car, but with huge problems when used day to day in mid-summer;

 

A: The early gearbox has what feels like the heaviest clutch action in the world after half an hour in heavy traffic, and with the pedal being floor-hinged you soon redevelop muscles that withered away years ago after discovering the wonders of a big motor and auto box in traffic.

 

B: The bloody heater was stuck on full heat as the cable to the heater box had snapped and was a tw@ to replace, and I really didn't have time to do it. All that time was stuck in traffic with cramp in my leg muscles.

 

I go silly mileages day to day and as much as I loved the 911 (still do love them) it was a bugger in traffic. Always started first crack, never went wrong, probably more reliable than any of the Golf GTi's I've had, scarily quick on anything other than a straight road, great brakes in the dry - lousy in the rain because of weight transfer. It was noisy on the motorway on some road surfaces. it would be a background hiss on some surfaces and all of a sudden about 60db louder and boomier than Tom Jones Farting on others. The A road up to Glasgow used to be an utter bastard for it. The steering told you everything about the road surface, all the time. Never shut up. Fucking irritating after about 15 miles on the motorway trying to cruise along at 70*. Thats when I want silence from a car. I want peace, quiet, and the ability to listen to the quiet bits of the Final Cut without straining. I like cars that are nice places to be, even in a traffic jam. I like to have the aircon running, quietly doing its thing and keeping me comfy. I like a decent stereo. I like leather seats. It has to be a nice place though as I'll be spending some time there. Later 911s have all these things, along with a clutch that only needs one leg to use, so for me the later one has more appeal now. The later ones can't be as much fun as the old when given the full welly along a favourite twisty just because the old ones are scary, shouty, moody old things and a great adrenaline pump. Newer ones are faster and a lot less shouty, which can be a good thing sometimes.

 

I don't have a favourite car, as I find fault with bloody everything. The MG ZT-T 260 SE is probably it, but it wouldn't be if I owned one.

 

Bloody hell. I'm not even 40 (yet) and I sound like a doddery old fart.

 

Right, anyone got a Sapphire Cosworth who'd rather have an XJR and SD1 V8?

 

And as for the Mk1 Focus, they were brilliant things. The Mk2 was more akin to a Mk4 Golf.

[cms206]

My Mk2 Focus was a late pre-facelift 1.8 Zetec petrol on 17 inch alloys. Went like shit off a stick, not great on fuel though because it was pretty low geared - even four up it'd pull away in 2nd no bother. Handling was superb, largely because of the super sticky low profile Pirellis but it just never felt as nimble as the Mk1 Focus I had before it. I'd rate it as probably the third best car I've owned, largely because I still don't think it was as good as my dear old Cavalier.

 

Didn't like the facelift Mk2 Focus so went for the Mondeo 1.8TDCi. Other than sounding like a proper diesel (which I like ) it's doing about 25mpg more than the Focus did, looks okay, goes well enough and it's comfy. Still not as good as the Cavalier though...

 

... which brings me sideways to my next point. The Mk3 Cavalier rates first on the cars I have driven scale for reasons I can't quite understand, so I am at a complete loss as to how Vauxhall managed to complete bugger the Insignia up... now that really is a nasty piece of work!

[Marshall]

Horrible to drive?

 

Yaris automatic. Not too sure of the engine size, I only used it for about two hours, but gear changes took nearly 4000 years.

 

Base model Polo (1.2 I think), this one.

The new ride. by Tayne, on Flickr

Ok in town but needed about 4 million revs to reach 70 on the open road.

 

I've got one of these. It took me a good while to get used to It I can tell you. I actually really like it now because (as you say) you have to rev the balls off it to get any momentum. Once you get used to it it really is quite nice to drive. It certainly handles pretty well. That said, I totally agree that it is SLOOOOOW. Which is the reason it wont be staying with me too long.

Seriously though it is quite a fun car once you realise you have to rev the balls off it! Also has quite a nice sounding engine considering its size!

[chaseracer]

I suppose there must be some sort of irony in the fact that a picture I took of a Sierra is used to illustrate chaseracers hate for that particular model

Shamelessly stolen from Teh Interwebz, I have to confess...