Jump to content

I hated BMW's, now I F***ING hate BMW's.


DirtyDaily

Recommended Posts


I always had an unwarranted dislike of BMW's and as part of self advancement and life enrichment I have made a conscious choice to challenge these potentially incorrect prejudgements. I decided recently that a good place to start was by buying a universally well liked BMW in the form of a 2003 Z4 with the 2.5 engine which was on only 73k miles. What an absolutely ungrateful little bastard it is.
I bought it "cheap" and "by accident" because it had a snapped front spring and a sticking caliper. LIGHT work I thought. I started by dissembling the nearside front corner to remove the offending spring which had gouged in to the tyre and as I went to loosen the pinch bolt on the stub axle it snapped rather unexpectedly as it was actually spinning for a few turns. Great. I spent a day trying to drill out and get an extraction tool on the bolt but after the extraction tool snapped I decided another stub axle would have to do. I therefore bought a good used axle from a breaker and went about cutting off the bolt to remove the strut and remove the control arms. As I took off the bolt on the lower control arm and track rod end both of the threads stripped. New track rod and control arm ordered and a lot of heat and smashing to get off all back together with a new shock as the old one was shagged, new stub axle, new shock, new spring, new top mount, new control arm, new track rod end, two new tyres and it's time for reassembly. However due to the very short nature of the springs you have to very precariously position the compressors on the top hat in order to get it back together. Never the less I didn't die by spring and now the car is back together and driving. I take it out for a drive and there is a horrible scraping noise. Back to be parked up and after a while of investigating found that the brake disc shield was slightly bent and fouling on the tip of the wheel nuts. Hours of my life I will never get back and it's now properly drivable! I got the MOT booked and thought I'll put some new discs on it as the fronts were a little worn and put new wipers and a new bulb in so it was MOT ready. Took it for a drive this evening and after 1 mile the ABS light came on... F***... Get my code reader and read the code. It's the front right speed sensor that is unhappy. As I bought a new stub axle I had another one spare thankfully so at 9pm tonight I have been out to replace as the MOT is 8am Wednesday and I am obviously running out of time. Get out to the car, jack it up, go to remove the bolt that secures the sensor in and it rounds off...
What a dreadful, ungrateful, pitiful, horrible, useless, poorly designed, sack of shite.
Is there a point to this thread? No.
TL;DR?
BMW's are shit.
If anyone has some petrol and matches going spare please may I have?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A guy in my old unit share, who was also a fucking bellend, had one with the 3.0.

Utter crap, roof fucked, brakes fucked, sounded shit, paint was awful, always needed consumables. He thought he was the fastest car in the world as well when in reality it was very average.

Not a patch on the previous E36/39 gen cars.

I know you bought yours for the right price so you can tolerate it but they're nowhere near as good as the rep they gained in the 80's/90's.

My aunt bought one and I test drove it, the 3.0 back in 2011.

It went really well and felt solid back then but wasn't long before bits started breaking on it and  it just never had the appeal of the earlier models for me, felt a bit too corporate.

I still like BMW though, I think my only really irrational hatred is for VW transporters as to me they do absolutely nothing better than a whole host of other vans in the same category for at least double the price yet the owners think they're in some kind of super club where EVERY other VW van owner loves each other and it's all the summer of '67 again.

The reality is that the engines are shit, they have a host of stupid faults that never seem to get resolved like abs sensors, EML crap, rattly horrible engines, underpowered and also for me I find them terribly uncomfortable.

Living in the countryside as well and near a surfers beach it's even worse in the summer when they turn up mob handed doing 30 in a 60.

Watching 4 of them get out of the van after a night does always amuse me though, they look like they've had about 20 minutes sleep 😂😂😂😂😂, although no doubt telling their friends in work how wonderful it is to get away and "experience" the outdoor lifestyle whilst traveling somewhere pointless 30 miles from home each weekend to justify owning one.

Then to drive back down the M4 at 50 behind a lorry to try and save fuel or because it's gone into limp mode again.

Wank.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You know what? I agree. And I own two of them.

 

E46 based front suspension is a very sad job to do, as you’ve found out. Unfortunately I’ve done just about all jobs they can be done on these cars having owned a few and friends owning them.

When I’ve needed to remove the damper units on old cars that are quite ripe underneath I buy a pair of front knuckles from a breaker. For £50 I can deal with not having to swear and want to burn the thing to the ground.

 

They drive quite well when they’re tip top though. Which is after spending a fortune on them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites



A guy in my old unit share, who was also a fucking bellend,


For a second I thought you meant he was a bellend like I am and I thought how do you know I'm a bellend?

Not a fan of the overpriced VW vans either but I haven't had the displeasure of working/owning one. The Z4 drives okay tbf and the engine is adequate but I wouldn't like to spend what I am likely going to sell it for. (I hope, probably be the final kick in the teeth for me)

When I replace this sensor tomorrow after I cut it out if it doesn't fix it or something else breaks I am going to be claiming on the insurance as it will find itself in a reservoir.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Got to agree sadly, I worked in a BMW dealership from 94 to 2000 and I can say even in that short time, I formed 2 opinions …..

1, they declined in quality/feel even in those 6 years. They were never built as well as was claimed

2, most owners of new ones at the time were bell ends of the highest order, serious chip on shoulder stuff 

Having said that, 70’s - early 90’s stuff was excellent if looked after and the bikes were all seriously underrated (it was a combined car and bike dealership) 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll have to try and sample some older BMWs to offset this thing. Sorry for the ranting I was rather displeased with the car yesterday and it was either a rant or a brick through its windscreen. It also doesn't read like it's been realistically that much of a pain but I promise you it's been fighting me EVERY step of the way. EVERY STEP. I was going to offer it on here for £3k once it's finished and put it up to the general populous at £4k but I honestly wouldn't feel comfortable selling it on here. It'll probably be a good motor going forward but it's got some bad JuJu in my eyes now. I will be updating and ranting for anything further that goes wrong which I don't doubt it will. It still needs the front bumper respraying and the roof motor replacing and relocating so I fear there is more to come!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My 545 is from 2004. It was actually built late 2003.

For it's age it is excellent. Underneath the car is spotless - only now are the anti roll bars shedding their plastic coating. Even the plugs on the diff came undone for the first time in their life last week when I replaced the oil.

 

Just as good on top. N62 engine has it's issues though and none are a cheap fix.

Quality has taken a dive in the past ten years.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, vaughant said:

A guy in my old unit share, who was also a fucking bellend, had one with the 3.0.

Utter crap, roof fucked, brakes fucked, sounded shit, paint was awful, always needed consumables. He thought he was the fastest car in the world as well when in reality it was very average.

Not a patch on the previous E36/39 gen cars.

I know you bought yours for the right price so you can tolerate it but they're nowhere near as good as the rep they gained in the 80's/90's.

My aunt bought one and I test drove it, the 3.0 back in 2011.

It went really well and felt solid back then but wasn't long before bits started breaking on it and  it just never had the appeal of the earlier models for me, felt a bit too corporate.

I still like BMW though, I think my only really irrational hatred is for VW transporters as to me they do absolutely nothing better than a whole host of other vans in the same category for at least double the price yet the owners think they're in some kind of super club where EVERY other VW van owner loves each other and it's all the summer of '67 again.

The reality is that the engines are shit, they have a host of stupid faults that never seem to get resolved like abs sensors, EML crap, rattly horrible engines, underpowered and also for me I find them terribly uncomfortable.

Living in the countryside as well and near a surfers beach it's even worse in the summer when they turn up mob handed doing 30 in a 60.

Watching 4 of them get out of the van after a night does always amuse me though, they look like they've had about 20 minutes sleep 😂😂😂😂😂, although no doubt telling their friends in work how wonderful it is to get away and "experience" the outdoor lifestyle whilst traveling somewhere pointless 30 miles from home each weekend to justify owning one.

Then to drive back down the M4 at 50 behind a lorry to try and save fuel or because it's gone into limp mode again.

Wank.

A pair of total bellends round the corner from me bought one last summer. A 1980 Transporter to live the dream They "looked" the type that had no car knowledge whatsover and I said to my daughter upon passing it that as soon as something goes wrong with that, and it won't be long, it will sit there. And lo it broke down last summer and is currently sitting there. I'll try and get a picture next time I'm passing it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Had your Z4 been parked in the sea? That level of corrosion to suspension components is quite impressive. 
I don't know. I bought it from Chippenham and the bloke only had it 2 years. The rest of the car is actually very rust free but the running gear is very crusty. The bolt actually wouldn't come out so I've got some M6 nuts try and get it out that way. Having a mare with parts now as the sensor was supposed to arrive today but it's going to be tomorrow which is obviously too late for the MOT. I've had to order another one from GSF car parts and I'll end up sending the one I ordered back I think. It'll end up with a Delphi part rather than Bosch but I've had good experiences with Delphi. I also have ordered another M6 bolt so hopefully the threads aren't completely FUBAR as I don't even have a thread tapper to clean it up. Another tool that should be in my arsenal. Cutting it all mighty fine for Wednesday!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The ungrateful little toe rag has passed its MOT today with just 1 advisory for the nearside rear tyre being worn on the inner edge. It's tenure with me is nearly over. If anyone does want a Z4 and thinks I'm just a rubbish mechanic feel free to make me an offer for it. It will be a well sorted low mileage one so probably a good one to buy as it's been gone through. I'll be getting a new roof motor and the front bumper resprayed and it'll look the business then. I have £2,700 in to it which is pretty galling as I only paid £1,500 and ALL labour has been done by myself so I dread to think what a garage would have cost. £3,000 will buy it on here otherwise it'll be up to the plebs of eBay for £4k

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...