RichardK's nice sensible 4x4 – Friede - 2002 Mercedes ML55 AMG - servicing and fix-list

[RichardK]

And thus, there came to be a time where Landlords were no longer a thing, where the only fog rolling across the drive was issued by a K-series kettle impersonation, and there were Big Hills and Big Things To Move Over The Big Hills.

Our hero lamented the loss of Big Vans and SUVs as fate dealt a small car for the next round of tests, and a plan was formed. "I shall obtain a vehicle of such proportions that it may carry the very village that it took to make it, of such traction that mountain goats may gaze upon it enviously, and of such quality that Lloyds offer bonds in its longevity and substance".

Then he looked in his bank accounts and went "or maybe just a cheap 4x4".

He searched the land, encountering Shoguns and Cherokees of big claims and little substance, he questioned Voyagers, and unearthed Yetis, before realising that his budget may only stretch to that cheapest of cars, an old Porsche.

Alas, the myth of the £3K, nay, £3,500 Cayenne were as real as the claims on an 8 year old car dealer's website. MOTs lacked advisories, but the strongest advice was "do not buy a cheap old Porsche".

Bereft, he scrolled lists of depressing diesels and overpriced Volvos with fragile gearboxes. Until the ancient tome of beige fluttered in the breeze, and the letters H A G C M L seemed to dance on the page. Like a carpark in Norwich, a name called in the wind... Dan? Dan? Dan? Daan?

A quest began. The tale of which shall absorb your attention to the very end. Of travel, of sandwiches, of fierce battles and wanderers.

Sit down, fair reader, for it shall take shape in the next post.

[RichardK]

The end.

[RichardK]

Oh, I stopped on the drive down to eat a sandwich.

[2flags]

Have you taken your brave pills or are these a sensible choice? So, details, how many miles? Has it got a service history? I look forward to hearing how you get on with it.

[Floatylight]

13 minutes ago, 2flags said:

Have you taken your brave pills or are these a sensible choice? So, details, how many miles? Has it got a service history? I look forward to hearing how you get on with it.

Sensible hmm...

 

[Crackers]

I'm very glad you did that. 

Primarily so that I didn't have to. 

[2flags]

So, many brave pills taken. Just the thing for regular commuting then!😁

[Jazoli]

51 minutes ago, 2flags said:

Have you taken your brave pills or are these a sensible choice? So, details, how many miles? Has it got a service history? I look forward to hearing how you get on with it.

When is an ML55 a sensible choice? 🤔 😀 

[Dan_ZTT]

2 hours ago, Jazoli said:

When is an ML55 a sensible choice? 🤔 😀 

This one would be very sensible if you had 5 or 6 kids and your school run also happened to be along a drag strip

[RichardK]

3 hours ago, Jazoli said:

When is an ML55 a sensible choice? 🤔 😀 

When the alternative is a £3K Porsche Cayenne S, obviously...

[RichardK]

Hyoooooge shout out to @Dan_ZTT for basically delivering this to me and then being trapped in a car with me for hours to get home Very Late. It made life and logistics much easier and we aren't exactly neighbouring postcodes!

[RichardK]

3 hours ago, Crackers said:

I'm very glad you did that. 

Primarily so that I didn't have to. 

You missed out, I think. I might change my opinion after a few weeks! But no, it's a solid bus with scruffy bits, goes well, sounds good, doesn't need much fixing and should be alright* on fuel on long trips.
 

*just pretend it's still summer 2023 in an economical car, the cost per mile will feel the same...

[RichardK]

Insured: 50% more than MG ZT.

Foldy seat was playing up. Found bowden cable, now foldy seat is playing "down" which is where I wanted it to be for carrying things. I like the way the third-row seats detach.

CD changer responded to a sharp tap and has now spat out CDs and appears to be working.

Job list/stuff list:

Rustproof
Service
Clean wheels
New tyres
Make sunhole work
Rebuild keys into new fobs (genuine if possible)
Replace driver's seat plastics
Rebuild rear bench
Fix wee trim things
Polish headlights
Add "rust fee Merc ML tailgate" to eBay watch list (usual bit under light, hardly a stress)
Find comedy spare wheel carrier

Tested my A4 RTK plate on it. Looks good.

Obtain expedition roof rack
Obtain bloody huge LED light bar
Get revenge on misaligned LED headlights

Nothing preventing me using it so it'll be working hard tomorrow delivering and collecting things from Scotland...

[Dan_ZTT]

5 hours ago, RichardK said:

CD changer responded to a sharp tap and has now spat out CDs and appears to be working

Oh sweet! If you wouldn't mind posting them back that would be much appreciated, that Fountains Of Wayne album especially is a cracker

[sutty2006]

Very brave indeed. 
 

the regular car booter parked next to me last weekend had a black one…… it was well battered. Colour coded duck tape holding bumpers together and almost 4 flat tyres.

I can only presume he was “living the dream”

[andy18s]

The bumpers are famously fragile on these,they make Mondeo bumpers look like they're hewn from granite.

[RichardK]

3 hours ago, Dan_ZTT said:

Oh sweet! If you wouldn't mind posting them back that would be much appreciated, that Fountains Of Wayne album especially is a cracker

Of course, already planned to! I've popped an FM transmitter in for streaming - trying a few songs until it tells me what it's called. Pondered "Thunderchild" but of course that didn't last very long in War of the Worlds so maybe something with longevity...

[DaveDorson]

10 hours ago, RichardK said:

When the alternative is a £3K Porsche Cayenne S, obviously...

Or an l322 range rover with a patchy history and many people saying it's a terrible idea.

 

Chodspeed.  

[Matty]

2 hours ago, DaveDorson said:

Or an l322 range rover with a patchy history and many people saying it's a terrible idea.

 

Chodspeed.  

Personally I thought it was a fucking brilliant idea. I'm just a coward

[hairnet]

did you fall down the stairs on wednesday or summat

crazier than frogchod

 

[HMC]

I had a bit of a search around re actual ownership experiences of these, before i committed.  there were a couple of pistonhead users that has had long term experiences and never really had any bother. Plus the engine is basically bombproof. I got about 22mpg at a constant 70 with the cruise on using brim to brim calculations and about 18 -20 pottering on a and b roads in remote bits of scotland.

[N Dentressangle]

It has to be better than a P38, which is my benchmark for gas guzzling 4x4 shitness

[RichardK]

Busy first day.

23mpg but it was stuck in traffic a bit.

Load

Scotched corner

Unload

Load:

Pause:

Drive, pause again:

I know why no-one ever answers if it has a tow bar. Do Not Look Behind The Bumper. Crunchier than most cereals. Mayve I'll add milk.

Feels like a steering damper, change of PAS fluid, and a service will do it wonders. I have 25mpg in my sights.

No-one ever expects it to pull away on hills the way it does.

[hairnet]

madness

[RichardK]

So far it's beaten the MG, both PT Cruisers and the XJ6 in "miles before something broke"

[RichardK]

and, technically, the new CX-60...

[HMC]

Its been in that car park on the border last year as well….

[Schaefft]

23mpg really isn't bad at all, my 500SEL definitely can't top that with similar weight and HP.

[RichardK]

2 hours ago, Schaefft said:

23mpg really isn't bad at all, my 500SEL definitely can't top that with similar weight and HP.

I think fresh oil, plugs and sorting the alignment will help it. It is an efficient engine, and when asked to be lazy, should be good.

I had forgotten just how much I like driving V8s in an American "can do 1500 miles a day at low revs and barely be troubled" way.

And the urgent mission? Raiding parental home now I have /my/ home. Grandfather made that spinet and I inherited it, but didn't want to take until I knew I'd never move again, and unearthed some old pics.

 

[RichardK]

24 hour test: Buyer's remorse scale...
Mebbe a 1/10? I'm not sure if I set it as 5/10 is 'average remorse' or the ideal is 0/10 no remorse, and if we're honest with ourselves surely no-one comes away from a buy with zero "I could have researched that better", so I think 5/10 would be 'I am okay with this', 10/10 would be 'I wish it were on fire', and 0/10 would be 'I feel guilty for even owning this it's so good'.

Dan paid a garage a LOT to do some (IMO) small jobs, so I do have a bit of guilt, but for what it cost I am very impressed with how well it drives and how many things work. As keeps happening, I'm having to adjust the concept of 'money', and for what I paid, relative to what else is on the market, this should be a pre-pandemic/inflation £1000 'banger' with a long MOT. And for that it is EPIC.

So my 1/10 is the rear crossmember behind the bumper, I should have looked - I'm not at all unhappy about it, but I'll want to fix it, and it is a welded part. However, even though a new one is 1/5th of the car's value, if everything else behaves/can be improved, I will consider having it replaced as it's not a massive job to do apparently. It won't cause MOT issues which is probably why it never shows as an advisory, but I am steeling (rusting) myself for what I will find if I remove the bumper.

That's the bad bit out of the way, like, literally. People used to lend me cars as a way of diagnosing faults, so you know how critical I can be!

The good stuff!

The engine sounds fantastic, smooth, REALLY pleasing. The gearbox is slurred for an AMG and lacks modes - I did get a clunky 1-2 shift once, but only once. I'll give it a fluld and filter change but I think the ML55 is a sort of AMG-lite so doesn't have say, 722.6 with massive upgrades, just a reasonably tough normal one. Brakes need bleeding and new pads, depending on rust levels I may fix new flexis, but nothing is dragging, sticking or pulling in the wrong direction which IMO is a big result on a 21 year old 4x4.

It handles well, for what it is. It's not live axles, but think 'Grand Vitara turned up to 11' when to drive it and you can make rapid progress - probably more so when it has new tyres.

Comfy seats. Easy to read dials. HUGE space in the back. I never realised just how big the ML is.

Doors all shut solidly, windows all work and are unchipped/scratched, headlining is still attached (A-pillar is manky, easily sorted), COMAND works, remotes work, no evidence of sunroof leaks. Apart from the inevitable rust, it's a really good thing mechanically as far as I can tell.

The RichardK-picky-bastard-just-have-a-cheap-car-FFS list:

Rebuild centre rear seat - it's been worked on, and nothing's been attached properly. The covers are good, it just needs someone who cares (i.e. not a garage with a time limit) to be fiddly reassembling it.

Get trip computer working. The sunroof is dead, as in, no power to switch or noises, and the trip computer in the roof is also dead. I shave with occam's razor and that's telling me there's a wiring issue in the roof console and if I solve that, I'll probably get BOTH things back at once.

Replace driver's seat plastics. They're stupidly designed anyway, but have been broken. I caught my foot on it myself so I know how it gets broken - finding replacements will be fun.

Replace foglights. They're rusty and one doesn't work. From memory these are shared with a lot of Merc models.

Find which CarPlay/Bluetooth solution is most compatible with that COMAND setup and fit it. Sod your BMWs and Range Rovers, Mercedes' kit just KEEPS ON WORKING. Sounds bloody good too.

Find plastic covers for third-row seat brackets when the seats aren't fitted, which will be 99% of the time.

Servicing plan:
Good quality 5W30 and genuine filters for 3,000 mile intervals until oil stays clean for at least 2,000 miles. Replace/clean PCV system. Replace spark plugs.

When I CBA/have brave pills, diff, transfer case and gearbox oil.

Polish headlights - I think the alignment was tweaked to compensate for broken rear coils, they seem short throw.

New tyres. Clean up wheels beforehand. Thinking Pirelli Scorpion for a bit of off-road grippiness.

Investigate pulsing/varying assistance or wander on bends. If it were an SLK/S/E class I know I'd be replacing the steering damper right away, and it does look like there's a steering damper on the parts catalogue...

If it has a throttle-pedal cable to under hood position sensor or butterlfly, replace it and check free play/kick down. Feels like it has more dead travel than I'd like.

Rustproof everything. Twice.

Long-term view: if I can get the rust in stasis, I never thought I'd like a W163 – they live in that weird 'not quite Mercedes as I know it' world shared by the Vito/V-Class. In fact, I like it rather a lot.

And I don't think a Cayenne near the same budget would be getting this sort of 24hr report at all. Or be able to carry as much. The itch remains unscratched, but I think for a Cayenne it has to be £5K.