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Top Tips when viewing a car


sierraman
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2 minutes ago, AnnoyingPentium said:

Typically if the seller has the radio up to a rather loud volume or won't shut the fuck up during a test drive then it may be reasonable to assume they're disguising an issue.

What like sneezing every time they change gear?

How about, check when the engine has warmed up by seeing if the little red light on the dashboard has lit up.

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‘Tell the seller you’re bursting for a turf out, if they refuse to let you in to destroy their bog then they’re definitely dodgy and just posing outside the address for credibility on the now almost certainly stolen/broken motor’

I think I did actually read a buyers guide once that suggested you ask to use the toilet to check that the address was theirs if they meet you outside…

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Another couple of genuine tips I remember from back in the day;

Ask why they’re selling the car, and, If there’s anything wrong with the car;

they’ll almost certainly fold and fess up that they’re selling because the gearbox is full of wood shavings and that the car was never the same after the RNLI dragged it out of the sea that one time.

 

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Make sure to ask as many frivolous questions as possible, especially with cheap cars as they're most likely to have hidden problems

Check the air con works, ask the seller when it was last regassed

Check the MOT history, if it ever gets an advisory twice in a row then that definitely means it hasn't been looked after (🙄)

Make sure all the accessories work like radio, heated screen

Spend £150 on an AA inspection

Once you're happy with all the above points, ensure to make an insulting offer. If the seller is asking £500, they probably only want £400 so be sure to waste your time and theirs by opening negotiations at around £250

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Ask if the clutch has been replaced

Ask if the cambelt has been done

Ask if the timing chain has been replaced

Ask for full service history down to the bulb and wiper blade, particularly important with sub £500 cars  

Look underneath and check for signs of surface corrosion. This could lead to costly repairs in as little as 3 years

Make sure the tyres are a matching set of premiums constructed from the finest of compounds with at least 27mm of tread. "Using a quick 20p hack you can ensure your tyres are safe, if the coin is not engulfed by tread then the tyres are unsafe and need to be replaced immediately. Motorists took to social media to praise the money saving hero - Martin Lewis for sharing this tip" -

 

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Make sure you find a car priced to reflect that the bodywork has a few bodywork imperfections. Make doubly sure these are fully disclosed in the advert. Turn up and act like a simpering twat, saying that it will cost X amount to fix and make an offer with a ludicrous deduction.

The owner telling you to do one just means they'll think about it and call you tomorrow to accept.

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Be very wary of any car presented with sheafs of paperwork for previous servicing, recent clutch, brakes, battery, timing belt, exhaust, tyres etc because it's obviously a money pit and is best avoided.
You want a car with no condemning evidence of any expenditure at all to guarantee you safe economical motoring.

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1 hour ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Don't buy a Peugeot 107 as they are particularly bad just like all French cars.

You'd be better off buying a Toyota Aygo as they're Japanese. 

Yes, I have heard someone say that before 🤦‍♂️ 

then they get in a rage when you point out theyve never been anywhere japan and all made in czech

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Start it from cold and mercilessly rev the engine whilst looking at the exhaust with the door open and pulling a face. This tells the vendor-

a) Your are an expert

b) The only way this car will sell is if it is MASSIVELY chipped down in price.

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Study the dipstick deposits very carefully - if you wear glasses as I do, propping your gegs up on your head helps massively - be sure to be seen inspecting the sills and door bottoms with an ostentatiously large magnet, all while firing the seller the odd knowing glance. Once you've established your superiority over the quivering beta wreck seller, poker face them while you lowball the hell out of them. 

Then, once you've bested them in combat bought it, a big smile and a hearty hand shake makes sure they'll think you're fantastic, and the transaction was top notch.

Tell you what, a sound knowledge of Sun Tzu and Machiavelli comes in handy. It took £1300 off one of my Volvos, and the seller gave me a tenner back for petrol, when I picked it up. 

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