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Dodgy shit hidden by sellers


sierraman

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Edit for - FUCKING HELL Busman.... were you aware of any of that before you drove off?

 

I recall my old man wiring a garage for a wedding hire place many moons back - couple of 420s and iirc Princess Hearse type ...... may be off a little as I was 9 at the time.

Wiring on one of them had been 'replaced' - all using stripped extension cables so everything was blue, red or green/yellow .... labels were hand written and illegible. Worked though at the time.

Princess had the rear seats supported on wooden blocks/planks and foam stuffed under as the springs etc.... were all gone/shot. Boot floor was none-existant.....

All the cars had the late 70s early 80s filler/fibreglass structural repairs and dulux white roller/brush paintjobs ..... made me wonder why he wanted the garage lighting done as they looked fucking awful in anything other than pitch dark.

 

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4 hours ago, St.Jude said:

A friend of mine works at JLR in Solihull, and was telling me that after the cars come off the production line they go for a shake down around the factory. Mix of town and “spirited” country lane driving.

There are some though who take it too “spirited” down those roads, and end up scratching and scraping the paint as they go too far in to the roadside bushes and brambles on the drive. I think a few have also had their wing mirrors smashed.

What do they do? Well instead of parking them near where they are meant to be, they park them at the other end of the car park which is host to a few skips. They then hand the keys in saying they couldn’t get a parking space any closer to the office.

Reminds me I was offered a job some years back for JLR driving cars off the production line and parking them in the carpark.

Wouldn't mind it now mind, but the money offered was too low at the time.

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2 hours ago, Lord Sterling said:

Reminds me I was offered a job some years back for JLR driving cars off the production line and parking them in the carpark.

Wouldn't mind it now mind, but the money offered was too low at the time.

I worked at Halewood JLR for a while, they discovered a fault with the autobox programming and the only solution was for the car to be ragged at full revs straight off the line and then get absolutely hammered round the site for a few laps, not a bad job I guess but the new owners would have been horrified to see how their lovely new car was treated 

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1 hour ago, Talbot said:

At least the nut won't come undone.  Better than the alternatives I've found in the past, including welding wire, a hair grip, and on one occasion a matchstick.

I bought a Mk2 Cavalier once, on the drive home smoke was seen to be pouring from the OSR wheel. After pulling over I found the split pin was missing and the hub nut had undone itself andwas holding on by the last few threads. The wheel had assumed a pronounced angle with the drum cutting a neat slot into the brake shoes which were also hanging out between the drum and the backplate.  When I later spoke to the seller about it he said "well, I needed the split pin for another car" I had a few deathtraps from this guy, they were all super cheap but it was fun spotting what had been messed about with. 

Another time I was buying a Sierra estate that was sat in someone's front garden , The seller wouldn't budge from £100 (this was donkeys years ago and it was worth more like £20) The seller waxed lyrical about what a great car is was, never let him down e.t.c. When the deal was about to be done he suddenly said "when you're driving it home, don't forget there's no brakes" It was a minor issue to be fair, a brake pipe had rusted out but the audacity of this bitch made me put my money away and walk off, all with the seller walking out of his front door and following me down the road me shouting "90?  how about 70?..... £50???????"

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This thread makes me want to buy a bicycle .....and I don't like bicycles , seriously though how do theses  people sleep at night , a bodge say using a piece of wood to hold up a fecked window if one thing , bodging brakes though 

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Mine wyfe and I wen'st ooer The Forth to thon Kingdom of Fyfe, Inbhir-keithing to be precise.

The Vauxhall Corsa B 1.4 Sport didst look gye rough as we approached, thon leading edge of the bonnet be'ist adorned in excess with oxide-pox.

We hadst taken leave of our abode in Polmonte so took the hansom for a test up the brae neer'theeless. 

"By my hilt!" I doth exclaimed, "This fucquer doth tug droite-wards when'st I brake to slow! Fuque this".

Onst our return to his abode, he doth exclaim "It be a poorly pad, nothing 5 minutes at the local Kwik Smythe wouldn't remedy". 

"Pray, when'st was the tyming-lathe last inspectit?"

"It was changeth last yestermorn"

"Doest ye have a gilt to affirm, dear chap"

"Nay, twas may mayte,  Calum the Squint wot did the deed, I can get thou a gilt by the morn's morn"

Not that cænt again.

"I bidst you good day young man".

"Fuckying chanty-wrastler", I said to my wyfe. "Pray let us take leave of this shichten-hoosen and get our arses back to Polmonte ".

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13 hours ago, Split_Pin said:

Mine wyfe and I wen'st ooer The Forth to thon Kingdom of Fyfe, Inbhir-keithing to be precise.

The Vauxhall Corsa B 1.4 Sport didst look gye rough as we approached, thon leading edge of the bonnet be'ist adorned in excess with oxide-pox.

We hadst taken leave of our abode in Polmonte so took the hansom for a test up the brae neer'theeless. 

"By my hilt!" I doth exclaimed, "This fucquer doth tug droite-wards when'st I brake to slow! Fuque this".

Onst our return to his abode, he doth exclaim "It be a poorly pad, nothing 5 minutes at the local Kwik Smythe wouldn't remedy". 

"Pray, when'st was the tyming-lathe last inspectit?"

"It was changeth last yestermorn"

"Doest ye have a gilt to affirm, dear chap"

"Nay, twas may mayte,  Calum the Squint wot did the deed, I can get thou a gilt by the morn's morn"

Not that cænt again.

"I bidst you good day young man".

"Fuckying chanty-wrastler", I said to my wyfe. "Pray let us take leave of this shichten-hoosen and get our arses back to Polmonte ".

Reminds me of having to study Chaucer back in school, brilliant 😄

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Nichola is going to give details today of how we are going to start building cars again in Scotland once independence has been achieved .....keep it to yourself but I've been given details of the said car ....apparently it's a bugger to start when warn but it does have a opening rear window .....have a look at that interior ....makes u proud to be Scottish , I'm going to join the workforce ....then strike when the kettle goes on the blink 

download (21).jpeg

download (22).jpeg

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Will it be powered by fairy dust ? Will the major components be built in a fully automated factory in erm....anywhere that's not the UK.....And transported by Cargo plane to Oban's tiny airport, before being delivered to a fully automated factory near Balamory, that employs redundant English holiday home cleaners to sweep the floors on a Monday and Friday ? 

Before being put on a ship and delivered to thier target export market in erm.... Rwanda.... where unfortunately sales will be poor as there is no fairy dust supply infrastructure, and the blue tooth connectivity isn't very good, so the radio is only good for crackling AM broadcasts, and the hands-free phone doesn't work when it needs to. 

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2 hours ago, Boycie said:

Nichola is going to give details today of how we are going to start building cars again in Scotland once independence has been achieved .....keep it to yourself but I've been given details of the said car ....apparently it's a bugger to start when warn but it does have a opening rear window .....have a look at that interior ....makes u proud to be Scottish , I'm going to join the workforce ....then strike when the kettle goes on the blink 

download (21).jpeg

download (22).jpeg

Probably still more modern than the new Lada Granta mind.

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I was under the impression you could still buy yourself a brand-new Scottish designed and built car, should you desire one...

Argyll_Turbo_GT_side.jpg.4cb2135046ed3230c3b75d5c56c000cc.jpg

Argyll_Turbo_GT_rear.thumb.jpg.c675a75c06852bfbce112d9141d8d3d9.jpg

Not straight from the showroom, but the Argyll GT tooling still exists and I'm told Bob Henderson will knock a new one up for you... at a price.

www.argyllmotors.co.uk

Getting NOS Datsun Cherry rear lights might be a pain, though.

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30 minutes ago, Datsuncog said:

I was under the impression you could still buy yourself a brand-new Scottish designed and built car, should you desire one...

Argyll_Turbo_GT_side.jpg.4cb2135046ed3230c3b75d5c56c000cc.jpg

Argyll_Turbo_GT_rear.thumb.jpg.c675a75c06852bfbce112d9141d8d3d9.jpg

Not straight from the showroom, but the Argyll GT tooling still exists and I'm told Bob Henderson will knock a new one up for you... at a price.

www.argyllmotors.co.uk

Getting NOS Datsun Cherry rear lights might be a pain, though.

What a mess that is. He can’t have stood back and not thought, ‘that looks wank, nobody will invest in this’

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