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Hill Climbing Clio - Public Service Announcement - Fast Clios? JUST DON'T! 03/03/24


320touring

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Thursday 7th October 2021.

Idly flicking through Gumtree at lunch. What was I looking at? Cars of course!

Something caught my eye, a silver seductress with Gallic flair..

2005 Clio 182, non runner, MOT'D til Jan 2022 and only 1.5hrs from home.

I send it to @Tickman as it was 30 mins from his.

He declines.

 

Immediately I am on the phone to the owner.

Cranks then stops, won't run.

 

At this point @dome sends me the same advert. Now I know I have a willing accomplice in the game.

to whit, a trip to the north was concocted, and arrangements with the vendor made.

 

On the way up we discussed likely causes of the issue - settling on 2 possibilities:

1. Immobilizer issues

2. Crank sensor failure.

 

we arrived having decided that the most likely fault would be immobilizer related due to the short crank time.

I Said to @dome "don't do an immobilizer reset on it - I don't want him putting up the price of it runs"

 

I speak to the vendor, car has been sitting 7 weeks, with no luck getting it fired. I check the oil and so an initial crank it turns over 4 times and stops.

no obvious damage to the crank sensor wiring.

this all sounds immobilizer - so time to barter and get the fucker dragged away behind the range rover before doing a reset...

at this point, @dome has done a reset and the bloody thing is now running on the vendors drive🤣😁

I'm pleased - it's now a known Quantity and I can take it for a test drive.

the vendor is like 😲

the test drive was successful, and I managed to chip a wee bit off the asking price.

What is it like?

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it's a 182 with cruise/traction control and air con. 

168k on the clock, MOT til Jan 2022.

Positives

Some MOT

182 SO ALL TEH POWAH AND BIG ZORST

4 new tyres

Solid underneath

Rear calipers work

All the electrics work

 

Negatives

168k miles

Timing belt due

De-phaser pulley doing an impressive impression of a skeleton pleasuring itself in a biscuit tin

I don't need another fucking car

The 4 new tyres are Toyo Proxes

IMG_20211227_154321659.thumb.jpg.372533dc5ca6321f2d8066bda0baeddb.jpg

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There was a sporadic SERV light,  and Traction Control light. Rapidly, they be came common, and then permanent. The ABS light didn't want to be left out either..

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A wealth of online info (and consultation with tame whisperer Clio Stu) meant that the first port of call was the steering angle sensor mounted behind the wheel

I decided to tackle the job in freezing conditions in January just before the MOT.

The battery was disconnected for 30 mins before airbag removal (the time filled having a cuppa to provide warmth for the next part of the endeavour)

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Wheel removal was simple, and luckily for me, the steering angle sensor wound round until the yellow telltale appeared.

This meant IMG_20220104_190053062.thumb.jpg.3f64723749817f83ab81c4e888ec6efc.jpg

A lack of lights!

It was now in with a chance of becoming a long term fleet member.

Time to get it in for an MOT

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Bugger.

It looks a lot. But In reality,

Strip and clean the rear brakes

Fit new rear pads

New front damper (and a swap to stock springs at the same time)

Polish the headlamps

Bottle of cataclean and rag it to pass emissions

 

PASS

 

That achieved, it settled into the role of daily driver.

Here is it with some of my other decrepit fleet members ( and @jaypee's Galaxy)

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Yes, that is a Ph1 Clio 172 Exclusive in front of it - I went into 182 ownership knowingly, despite my better judgement..

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1 minute ago, bigfella2 said:

It cost me 85 bleeding quid for a recovery truck and driver to come out and show me how to resync the immobilizer. Looks sweet, 168k is a testament to how strong these are.

I'm guessing it's a full fat version?

Long hard experience has taught us how to do the resync🤣

Aye it's got all the toys.

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The rest of January and February proceeded without incident, averaging 35.7mpg in mixed use with a full load of tools in the boot.

I must say cruise control is a god send - the ability to just sit at a GPS 65mph on the motorway, without danger to your licence is great, especially as I know that these cars prefer to cruise a fair bit quicker..

Daily duties continued apace. Here it is in sunny Callander after a spirited drive. The rear seats a safe space to secure steak and haggis pies from Mhor Bread for the drive home.

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A decision to upgrade the Xenon bulbs went in a quintessentially Clio way..

Removal of the battery (to access the passenger headlamp) resulted in a snapped battery clamp bolt.

This necessitated drilling and tapping the battery tray to fit a new bolt. Handily, the battery tray also doubles as the gearbox mount and is made of aluminium.

No pressure then.

Step forward @blackboilersuit and his multifaceted tap and die..

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The £80!!! Bulbs were fitted and vision is much better.

A couple of weeks later, the Clio was pressed into being an exhaust holder to allow the separation of a BMW E30 exhaust. A job it did admirably

IMG_20220402_112616877.jpg

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9 hours ago, 320touring said:

IMG_20220226_102826481.thumb.jpg.4edc1e88700e70d7c854538164a178f1.jpg

Yes, that is a Ph1 Clio 172 Exclusive in front of it - I went into 182 ownership knowingly, despite my better judgement..

Is that the one we collected from the arse end of the Black Country, via BHX to pick up a deluded beardy SCTSH, then on to Mother O'Rourke's Pie Shop in Tipton for much-needed refs?

I lose track...

😁

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2 hours ago, Jim Bell said:

"DONT LIFT TILL TILL YOU GET THE BWWWAAAAAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAP"

Really enjoyed a shot of this. Never driven something so rapid that didn't torque steer or spin up a bit. It just sticks like babies shit to a woollen blanket. 

Fantastic car and great Nav. 

I loved that you repeatedly slowed down. Just so you could boot it's Baws again😁

1 hour ago, chaseracer said:

Is that the one we collected from the arse end of the Black Country, via BHX to pick up a deluded beardy SCTSH, then on to Mother O'Rourke's Pie Shop in Tipton for much-needed refs?

I lose track...

😁

Alas naw, that is bean tins noo. Though the front end lives on as part of a racecar.

The car in the picture is the long suffering Burd's motor..

1 hour ago, sporty-shite said:

Reading this is making me regret selling mine even more than I did. They truly are a brilliant car, and I'd have my old one back in a heartbeat. 

Prices are starting to get silly now. Buy soon or be skint👍

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If you have made it to here dear reader, you're probably wondering when the hill climbing begins...

Back in the mists of time,  @Elstro1988 started a thread on hillclimbing using a Kia Rio..

 

Since then. I have fancied having a go at it.

 

I joined Monklands Sporting Car Club (£20 for the year) and got details on the championship.

Handily, they offer track days where you can go and get as many runs up the hill in 4hrs as you want.

This seemed a brilliant idea to test if I enjoyed it, before going deep into the championship/overalls/gloves/timing beam breaker etc.

The first track day of the year was Sunday 10th April.

 

Wednesday, 6th April, I was to be found giving the Clio a once over.

A problem was discovered.

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A glorious stuck piston on the front right caliper.

Nevermind, new pads and a replacement caliper should fix it..

Clio Stu is contacted and the caliper replacement is scheduled for Friday 8th April 

Overnight click and collect pads are procured and we are sorted.

 

 

Well, not quite.

Anyone who knows me will recall that on all the 172s I have owned previously, rear calipers have been a pain.

This 182 was determined to continue the tradition.

 

We fitted the new front caliper and new pads on the front.

Decide to bleed the caliper through. All going well, and no bubbles to be seen.

Tighten everything back up and test the pedal 

 

To

The 

Floor.

 

Bastard.

 

A look round the other calipers and brake lines reveals that the left rear caliper (same circuit as front right) has popped the caliper seal.

 

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The piston was removed and a new seal fitted, stopping the leak.

 

However. We now had air in the lines, and a pedal that just would not firm up.

We tried 2 different bleeding orders, bleeding it with the car off and the car running. Even taking it for a drive to get the ABS to cycle (to remove any air in the pump).

Nothing worked. 

At 11.45pm I called it - time to give up and go home. I called my Brother for a lift, top chap that he is!

 

On the Saturday I was helping a mate move house (any excuse to hire a van!)

So the car was not looked at.

No hillclimbing for me then.

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I elected still to go along on the Sunday, and at least get a look at the course and meet the folks.

Suffice to say, the people we met were very pleasant and welcoming, and the array of cars wide.

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This was making noises I hope my Oxford will one day make - sounded and looked great climbing the hill!

 

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No idea what this is - the driver was far too busy scaring passengers for me to be able to have a chat.

 

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These extremely well presented MGTFs were driven by a couple of old boys who gave them laldy..

 

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A lovely Morgan that promptly spat its dummy on the initial sighting run, and FTP'd for the rest of the day.

 

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A father and son built bike engined bastard. Noisy and quick.

The father was heard to remark "that's him coming up the hill sounding like a black and decker drill"

 

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This did two climbs then left. Don't know why. It was lovely

 

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This had a 1380 A series in it with a tasty cam - properly lumpy and deceptively fast. Good direction changes too, almost as if being light and nimble helps..

 

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The MX5 to the left of the galaxy belonged to another first timer - he really seemed to be enjoying himself!

 

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Another person enjoying themselves was the owner of this Aygo - each run faster than the last, and the wee thing seemed to enjoy it.

 

Speaking of wee things...

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there were two specials present and they were spectacular

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That 1930s Morgan gets around.

I saw it, and spoke to the owner briefly, at the cars and coffee at park farm the other week.

Then I saw it at Doune yesterday. It was behaving itself that time.

 

I also saw the orange bike engined bastard at Doune too.

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On the Wednesday after the (non) hillclimb, I collected the Clio from Clio Stu.

He had flung a pair of discs on it, and bled it again, finally getting a pedal. Thankfully.

I think the old discs were a bit tired..

IMG-20220414-WA0001.thumb.jpg.bf50b5d44811b64b9bd3d7e4f92f2def.jpg

 

The next "Track day" at the hillclimb is on the 5th of June,  so that's the next target.

Additionally, @gm has got me thinking a wee teeside track evening may be in order too. There's one on the 6th of June...

Onwards!

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