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Best phrases in car adverts


RoverFolkUs

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https://www.carandclassic.com/car/C1437400

This is a good one

First off only limited pictures, don't even know what interior looks like

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.All orginalcar has been in dry storage for 18 years 

So its been used as an Orgy venue for the past 18 years? not driving? So you're selling a recommissioning job? 

oh wait

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 MOT to October 2022

guess that's alright then 

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 owners handbook service record book from new invoices etc

illustrated confirmation might be helpful to back that up...

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Must be an investment

Why sounding so doubtful?

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£7700

Oh I see, won't get much return on that...

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1 hour ago, MisterH said:

https://www.carandclassic.com/car/C1437400

This is a good one

First off only limited pictures, don't even know what interior looks like

So its been used as an Orgy venue for the past 18 years? not driving? So you're selling a recommissioning job? 

oh wait

guess that's alright then 

illustrated confirmation might be helpful to back that up...

Why sounding so doubtful?

Oh I see, won't get much return on that...

£7700 sounds reasonable when it includes JDM tax and pop-up-headlight tax! ;)

 

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3 hours ago, sierraman said:

What????

3/10 for effort with the advert.

Bonus imbecile points for managing to smash an Android head unit and the weird shadow in the 5th picture making it look like it's had some whacky paint job. 

But that's ok, "because Ford" as per the windscreen sticker 🤔

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Just now, RoverFolkUs said:

Bonus imbecile points for managing to smash an Android head unit and the weird shadow in the 5th picture making it look like it's had some whacky paint job. 

But that's ok, "because Ford" as per the windscreen sticker 🤔

Anyone caught with a ‘Because...’ on the swept area of the screen would be sentenced to 15 years hard labour under my rule.

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  • 1 month later...

Erm....

1736396006_Screenshot_20220604-2052142.thumb.png.8f77a06e652af9a3775f183e27e01fa6.png

1435677744_Screenshot_20220604-2052242.thumb.png.ef88c2df493214cd3bb392afb1fa5a55.png

644108414_Screenshot_20220604-2052403.thumb.png.8291ad1a577b47afbd322ed4beb86cd8.png

I'm sure this seller would be an absolute delight to deal with.... 

1579423827_Screenshot_20220604-2052402.thumb.png.920a3dd36ee0110aa2f2f420169bf40f.png

No hostility?! Ha! Maybe he should have a go at that!

So he's asking £525 for something that's scrap at the moment... Fair enough, he can ask what he likes. But why so angry for no reason!? And you'd rather scrap it for, say £300, than sell it for an offer somewhere between £300 and £525, he seems to think it's worth a lot more as scrap than it really will be... 

To be fair, the fail list doesn't look horrific at all. But I wouldn't have much confidence in trying to buy the car from him without getting verbally abused for no reason!

 

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 6/3/2022 at 5:26 PM, RoverFolkUs said:

989483633_Screenshot_20220603-1723242.thumb.png.a12aeba810342ee76aa7c063e3ad4f7d.png

2018699189_Screenshot_20220603-1723342.thumb.png.caa744272c63b9d6412cb92d4625bf15.png

Comedy adverts are a bit passe now that Gumtree and Marketplace have been about for a good long while but this one would definitely not put me off if I was looking for a car like that.

In terms of other adverts, why do folk say 'no knocks or bangs'. The first I'd be listening for of course but nothing goes 'bang' on a car more than once in its lifetime.

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  • 1 month later...
48 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

"The car is on the move! The car is running good. The car is driving non stop!!"

"The car is in motion! The car runs fine. The car is driven non-stop."

938841197_Screenshot_20220831-2242192.thumb.png.e9ee7c57faa36c98db277bec7a07207f.png

1411182615_Screenshot_20220831-2242382.thumb.png.65735d182b77360519070d3dd57326df.png


Looks pretty stationary in the photo, so clearly not being driven non-stop!

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On 3/25/2022 at 8:20 PM, MisterH said:

This is a good* one:

https://www.carandclassic.com/car/C1437184

Thanks for highlighting that, could have been caught out there...

And even less apparent when you won't even bother to find out what they are...

In that case why am I not in high demand?

...what?

If it had a blue oval stuck to the front then yes

 

 

Shame, as when I first saw it I thought maybe he wasn't that bad...

Been up to him myself. Didn't buy the one I went for (too expensive for what it needed) and the other one he had had sold. What put me off him was he was really not friendly. Sounds soft, but if you deal in classic cars then surely you don't mind a gas. Shame he was a miserable twat really, he gets some really interesting stock in.

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6 hours ago, Matty said:

Been up to him myself. Didn't buy the one I went for (too expensive for what it needed) and the other one he had had sold. What put me off him was he was really not friendly. Sounds soft, but if you deal in classic cars then surely you don't mind a gas. Shame he was a miserable twat really, he gets some really interesting stock in.

I certainly got the impression, reading some of his ads, that in order to transact with Mr Howie, one needs to be of the right sort.  Should I, for instance, turn up with a briefcase full of used twenties and ask to buy the Landcrab, I probably wouldn't get too far...

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Just now, Missy Charm said:

I certainly got the impression, reading some of his ads, that in order to transact with Mr Howie, one needs to be of the right sort.  Should I, for instance, turn up with a briefcase full of used twenties and ask to buy the Landcrab, I probably wouldn't get too far...

Fair point. But what is the right sort? He was asking the price of a goer for a car that needed floors. I bought one a few weeks later for £1500 less. I wasn't rude or owt, just politely said it wasn't for me. 

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  • 4 months later...

'Has short MOT but if this doesn't sell for what i'm asking, i'll get another MOT on it then will be up for far more money'

Yeah i bet M8, your willingness to let if go cheap now and turn your back on all that certain extra money by getting a years ticket on it is pure kindness, I'm sure it has nothing to do with you shitting it about what it needs to get another MOT and you not even wanting to stick it in now is definitely not because the massive failure sheet it'll generate would then be online and it'd be worth even less than 'Bargain price M8' when it's recorded officially as completely fucked 😂

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