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Live c0113ct10N thr34D


djoptix

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The sign boasts "connect, charge, relax, save".

1496065664_Screenshot2022-02-03at06_43_15.png.f3a01f2b7f12ecec4c1e740224957266.png

 

  • Connect = fail. Onboard wifi doesn't work.
  • Charge = I'll give them 50% on this one. The 13A power outlets work when the bus is running, but the funky blue USB ports on the seats don't.
  • Relax = not yet.
  • Save = I think that's a fair claim. My ticket cost £8.06, the equivalent train is over £100.

Bit gutted that I didn't consider sitting at the FRONT of the bus! That would have been better. Damn it.

Still, we've just stopped at the second stop (which is in central Bristol) and the bus is nowhere near full, meaning that I have the back seat to myself and can utilise TWO power outlets. #winning.

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Bus driver announcement:

"Now this is very very important. For those passengers who are getting off at Heathrow, DO NOT COME TO THE SIDE OF THE BUS TO COLLECT YOUR LUGGAGE. Wait at the front of the bus and I will bring your luggage to you. This is Heathrow airport rules.

"If you DO come to the side of the bus to collect your luggage, please don't be surprised if I am very very cross and tell you to get back, because Heathrow Airport staff will come over and have a right go at me.

"Finally, if you are wondering which terminal or gate or whatever your flight goes from, please don't ask me, I don't know. Yes I get asked every single journey."

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4 minutes ago, mintwth said:

 That job as sausage stuffer in the sandwich factory is working out then? 😉

I'll thank you to keep my sexual proclivities to yourself sir/madam...

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2 hours ago, djoptix said:

Well, it's all relative I suppose...? If you lived in Canada you would say we were basically next to one another... :)

On honeymoon in Hawaii we had a ride in a horse drawn carriage. The driver asked where we were from - so we told him and asked where he was from -  he said New York.

He then remarked we were practically neighbours - it did have an element of truth.

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1 hour ago, djoptix said:

Could REALLY DO WITH SOME FUCKING COFFEE. 

My bus is wasting time going via Heathrow, don't they know I have a train to catch in just under four hours???

No coffee on the bus? I was deeply impressed to be offered a free coffee at my seat on an early bus from Vienna to Bratislava once. Less impressed by the quality of said coffee, but hey - if it's brown, drink it down.

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"We are about to arrive at Victoria, please make sure you take all your personal belongings with you. Anything you leave will go straight on eBay to pay the credit card bill my missus ran up over Christmas.

"Please remain seated until we have come to a stop, there are some sharp bends coming up and I wouldn't want any of you to fall and hurt yourselves.  [pause] Well, I don't personally care, but work will give me a bollocking."

[millenial stands up and starts putting on backpack]

"THAT MEANS YOU TOO, MATE. SIDDOWN."

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