Car features you don't like

[AnnoyingPentium]

Since I have parking sensors on my Fabia, it beeps to say if it's in reverse. Otherwise you'd be none the wiser.

[Justin Case]

The way in which in a Volvo V40 you have to set the satnav by scrolling round a screen, one letter at a time. I just hope that I never have to find my way to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

[maxxo]

56 minutes ago, Jazoli said:

I guess you've not driven any of the recent VAG stuff with the latest touch screen and touch sensitive slider controls and buttons on the wheel, its much much worse than it ever was, the mk7 golf's infotainment and controls were simplicity in itself, the mk8's is a complete clusterfuck. 

I haven't I must admit

Only moderns I've driven are Honda and a Toyota, both were quite good

[horriblemercedes]

1 hour ago, AnnoyingPentium said:

I like auto headlights since it stops the fuckwits from going unseen and causing accidents. I don't like high-beam assist though, just encourages further laziness, and isn't very proactive. Better than the twits that don't dip their lights at all, mind you.

 

High beam assist depends on the car, in my experience. I've found it really good in JLR and BMW products for example, but slow to react in VWs.

Over 80k miles in a Discovery 4 with high beam assist, I think I can remember one time ever that it got caught out but it corrected itself quicker than a human could have anyway.

[Wack]

2 hours ago, grogee said:

My Celica beeped to tell you that you'd successfully selected reverse gear. To the uninitiated, it would sound like reversing beepers, until you'd crunch into a wall. 

Having fitted proper sensors I then went onto the forums and found out how to disable Toyota's stupid beep. 

I had similar with a Nissan Navara , reversing beeper beeeping but not working 

We had been to knowsley Safari park though , fucking monkeys had ripped the sensors off 

[bunglebus]

I don't get the need for touchscreens in cars. I can adjust the heater and stereo etc in my car without looking away from the road. You just can't do that with a touchscreen 

[juular]

With climate control in general, I prefer the old fashioned way of just setting the temperature of the blower.  In my view it's about how the air feels, rather than setting the exact temperature you want.  The worst part is when you set it to say 21C on a cold morning, and when it reaches that it starts sucking in ice cold air and blasting it at your face, and you have to keep cranking it up or just setting it to full to feel comfortable.

My Volvo has one of the nicer climate control systems, very simple, subtle and accurate, but I always tend to either have it on full hot, cold, or off.

Speaking of climate control,  my Mrs's Accord has one of the worst centre console layouts ever. 

The climate, audio and nav controls are all jumbled together as if someone has just fire a cannonful of buttons at the dash.   The temperature display is on the LCD above the controls, but the climate control is the stupid rocker switch on the seperate lower console.  I've been borrowing this car on and off for over two years now and I still can never find the recirc, defrost or temperature controls when I actually really need them.

And don't start on the satnav and audio controls.  After all this time I still feel like I'm just pressing random buttons with text on them and eventually something happens. then there's the big pointless rotary control that doubles as an "Enter" button and a 4 way joystick at the same time. It's just a complete mindfuck.

The C70 on the other hand is pure tactile simplicity and manages to have all the same functions, and you can work it easily without taking your eyes off the road. It doesn't even take up any more space.

Oh and auto wipers, I only have them on my Trafic, and I love them.  At first I got annoyed at not having intermediate wipe, but on the van it's genuinely well implemented and I just left it to do it's job.   I often felt that just as I could do with reaching for the stalk, it would do a wipe.  Pass an HGV on a wet day, it wipes just the right amount of times and leaves you alone. A really well designed electrical system on a Renault.. fucking hell!

[Metal Guru]

2 hours ago, Gerrymcd said:

Tech that doesn't work well.  Anything you regularly use that involves having to dive into the screen for like temp controls. The Volvo V90 was terrible for this.  The C4 Cactus I had was even worse. Golf MK7.5 had a screen but at least the essentials are on buttons. 

No voice recognition I've used has understood me, even when I try and enunciate it's still hopeless. 

My biggest hate - electric folding mirrors - they should either fold when locked, or have a big fuck off button that works without the ignition on (so I can push it once I'm out the door). Otherwise they are pointless as I then have no mirror available to use before I open my door. 

I'm all for the tech when it works.

I found the electronic handbrake setup on the Volvo V90 and Golf Mk7.5 (auto /dsg) I had to be excellent. Squeeze the brake pedal when at a stop and it holds it for you, (so you can take your feet off the pedals) brilliant. 

(You can easily overide it, if for example you had to leave it parked for a month)

Or use the Adaptive cruise that works from 0 mph and creeps for you in traffic jams (and steers as well in the Volvo), mint.

Made the twice daily trawl on the M8 just that little bit less shite. Appreciate as a new car these things are great, but I would not want to have them going boink outside a warranty. 

I’d rather my mirrors weren’t folded when I’m parked. It does at least leave an exclusion zone between a passing car and the side of my car. I’d rather come back to my car and find a damaged door mirror than a scrape the whole length of the car.

[AnnoyingPentium]

12 minutes ago, bunglebus said:

I don't get the need for touchscreens in cars. I can adjust the heater and stereo etc in my car without looking away from the road. You just can't do that with a touchscreen 

Think I'll be alright...

[Missy Charm]

1 hour ago, AnnoyingPentium said:

We've got those Alexa things in the house for playing music...

Me: Alexa, play Something Good by Utah Saints

Alexa: I couldn't find something good by utah saints, here is some other music.

Me: Och Alexa, hawd yer wheesht.

Alexa: switches off

Me: fine then.

Now that's enough O/T lol.

But what if the Alexa thinks all Utah Saints records are rubbish?  

'Cloudbusting' is better, anyway.  

[AnnoyingPentium]

8 minutes ago, Missy Charm said:

But what if the Alexa thinks all Utah Saints records are rubbish?  

That's exactly what we're thinking. First time it said it we were buckled. Haha.

I've went back and fixed it as the joke didn't really work the way it did when it happened.

I'll need to listen to 'Cloudbusting' now.

[Fumbler]

The BX's rear wiper and rear washer are connected together with a momentary switch on the binnacle. This is super duper annoying, because if I want to wipe condensation off the rear window, I wash it too. If I want to keep the rear wiper on while reversing in the rain, I can't because the switch doesn't latch and it also triggers the pump.

[3VOM]

3 hours ago, Crackers said:

V1. 

Rotate. 

Does yours not call VR as well?

Bank Warning for off roaders?

[garethj]

4 hours ago, Asimo said:

Easier to list what I would add to, say, a 1970 VW.

Not much.

I’d make sure you ticked the heated rear window option and good heating and ventilation too.  Aircon is really nice.

Let’s say a late ‘70s Passat with aircon.  A roomy, 5 seater car which can easily crack 100mph and weighs less than 950kg.  That’s 150kg less than a Lotus Exige which doesn’t even have back seats.

[myglaren]

My Alexa is broken.

I used it mainly to play stuff in my Amazon library, but it could never find anything by Georgia Dagaki (Georgia Dogfood according to Alexa) and Eleftheria Arvanitaki* was never recognised.

 

* which the spell check thinks should Diphtheria Sanitation

The '59' Civic is the newest car I have owned and I don't usually have many issues with cars but would with a lot of the preceding items - touch screens etc.

The heater controls are a bit of a menace - well everything is at night when I can't see what any of the buttons are for.  The worst thing is reversing, poor visibility with the silly spoiler thingy and the reversing lights are too close to the center of the car.  Lights straight behind but not to the sides, fun when reversing it on to my sons drive in the dark with a car 8" either side.

When I first drove it I had no idea how fast I was going, could only see a rev counter.

The speedo was occluded by the steering wheel until I altered the height of the steering wheel and seat.

[Spurious]

15 minutes ago, garethj said:

I’d make sure you ticked the heated rear window option and good heating and ventilation too.  Aircon is really nice.

Let’s say a late ‘70s Passat with aircon.  A roomy, 5 seater car which can easily crack 100mph and weighs less than 950kg.  That’s 150kg less than a Lotus Exige which doesn’t even have back seats.

With all the crash resistance of a biscuit tin.

I love my old Audi.  I am aware, dispite it's protec-ten or whatever the crash system in it, it's not going to be half as safe a car as a modern thing with airbags, ebd, abs and superb brakes.

Working as a Paramedic has made me reconsider how cars respond to crashes.  Yes, a wagon will still squish you, can't escape physics.  But I've seen moderns roll off the A road and drivers walk away. Stuff that would have killed you 30 years ago has people walking away these days.

[Timewaster]

7 hours ago, Sham said:

I just leave climate on the desired temperature, turn on the AC button and press auto and auto recirc. Then leave it alone. Forever. If the Mrs wants it warmer, she just turns the temp up on her side. When she isn't in the car, I turn off the dual function. It still stays in auto.

If I need Max demist, I press that button and then press auto again when I don't need it.

Why would you mess around with a system that keeps the temperature just so? Do you constantly adjust the central heating in your house? Of course not.

Some systems work quite well, others not so much. 

What annoys me is if I set a temperature, say 19° then on a cold morning I get blasted with the hotest air the car can manage until it gets up to 19°

At which point it starts blowing cold (unheated) air. 

You can't blend the temperature of the air. 

[grogee]

6 hours ago, juular said:

With climate control in general, I prefer the old fashioned way of just setting the temperature of the blower.  In my view it's about how the air feels, rather than setting the exact temperature you want.  The worst part is when you set it to say 21C on a cold morning, and when it reaches that it starts sucking in ice cold air and blasting it at your face, and you have to keep cranking it up or just setting it to full to feel comfortable.

My Volvo has one of the nicer climate control systems, very simple, subtle and accurate, but I always tend to either have it on full hot, cold, or off.

Speaking of climate control,  my Mrs's Accord has one of the worst centre console layouts ever. 

The climate, audio and nav controls are all jumbled together as if someone has just fire a cannonful of buttons at the dash.   The temperature display is on the LCD above the controls, but the climate control is the stupid rocker switch on the seperate lower console.  I've been borrowing this car on and off for over two years now and I still can never find the recirc, defrost or temperature controls when I actually really need them.

And don't start on the satnav and audio controls.  After all this time I still feel like I'm just pressing random buttons with text on them and eventually something happens. then there's the big pointless rotary control that doubles as an "Enter" button and a 4 way joystick at the same time. It's just a complete mindfuck.

The C70 on the other hand is pure tactile simplicity and manages to have all the same functions, and you can work it easily without taking your eyes off the road. It doesn't even take up any more space.

Oh and auto wipers, I only have them on my Trafic, and I love them.  At first I got annoyed at not having intermediate wipe, but on the van it's genuinely well implemented and I just left it to do it's job.   I often felt that just as I could do with reaching for the stalk, it would do a wipe.  Pass an HGV on a wet day, it wipes just the right amount of times and leaves you alone. A really well designed electrical system on a Renault.. fucking hell!

The weird thing is, the same manufacturer made this (EP3 Civic) which is the best I've ever used. Set the temp, put fan to auto and it'll just do its thing. Or if that's too blowy you can set your own fan speed. And direct the air wherever you want. Three knobs. No flashing lights. Nice and close to your left hand. Doesn't get cross if you want AUTO but no A/C.

I really don't understand why this hasn't become the standard, like 'indicators left stalk wipers right stalk'.

[Timewaster]

We almost had a standard in the 90s when manufacturers used the 3 rotary switches system. 

Peugeot, Citroen, Vauxhall, Ford plus several others. 

Fallen by the wayside now though. 

My mitsubishi has proper buttons with a digital display. 

When you alter the controls, the digital display is replicated on the main screen. 

Except the layout is not the bloody same. The screen demist symbol is in a totally different place.  

Annoys the hell out of me.  The two displays are 3" apart. 

[Sham]

1 hour ago, Timewaster said:

Some systems work quite well, others not so much. 

What annoys me is if I set a temperature, say 19° then on a cold morning I get blasted with the hotest air the car can manage until it gets up to 19°

At which point it starts blowing cold (unheated) air. 

You can't blend the temperature of the air. 

I accept this is true, the Vitara is much more sudden than the Octavia, which caresses my delicate fleshy areas. But if the temperature in the cabin is right, can you not just aim the vents away from any sensitive areas?

[Mrcento]

Actually, i have another nomination for fucking annoying climate control.

Spaceship civic.

I absolutely hate the fact there's no dial or simple button to change where the air is blowing, just a mode button you need to cycle and take your eyes off the road to look at the screen to see what you're selecting.

[Timewaster]

Incar voice recognition that doesn't. 

I've moaned about this before but.... 

I have a friend called Huw. (a Welsh Hugh). 

Me: Call Huw

Siri: You do not have a contact with that name. 

Me: Call Heyooo

Siri: You do not have a contact with that name

Me: Call Herrryooooooowah

Siri: You do not have a contact with that name

Me: Call HerrrYooo

Siri: I'm fine, thanks for asking. 

FFS. 

[Noel Tidybeard]

• manual heater controls that NEVER get the right temperature
• peugeot washers that decide the you need this much screen wash when you actually want this much just to dampen the screen for a flick wipe
• orange dash lighting
• fraud quick clear- i can't not see the wires

[SteersWithThrottle]

Headlights on moderns that leave a fucking x-ray of your skull on your headlining as you pass them.

LEDs were bad enough but now they are using actual fucking lasers FFS. Since the main/dip is all computer controlled these days, WCPGW?

[Noel Tidybeard]

13 minutes ago, Mrcento said:

Actually, i have another nomination for fucking annoying climate control.

Spaceship civic.

I absolutely hate the fact there's no dial or simple button to change where the air is blowing, just a mode button you need to cycle and take your eyes off the road to look at the screen to see what you're selecting.

leaving it set to auto has done me fine for 11 years- i like the fact that the controls are quite literally close enough to not take my hand off the streering wheel

[delux]

A customer today asked us to turn off his lane assist on his 2021 Isuzu Dmax.

You can hold the button in to switch it off but you have to do it every time you start it.

We used to plug the computer in and turn it off permanantly if the customer wanted. Found out today we can no longer do that!

To turn it off now we have to email the VIN and serial number off our Isuzu computer to Isuzu who (within 3 hours) email us a file to upload to the ECU, then perform an update (another 20 mins). What a fuck about! Customer had completed sudoku in the paper and eaten all the good biscuits before we were done!

Next time we will tell them to turn it off with the button each time and chuck them some free air fresheners.

Mitsy L200, take out the fuse! LOL!

[grogee]

4 hours ago, Spurious said:

With all the crash resistance of a biscuit tin.

I love my old Audi.  I am aware, dispite it's protec-ten or whatever the crash system in it, it's not going to be half as safe a car as a modern thing with airbags, ebd, abs and superb brakes.

Working as a Paramedic has made me reconsider how cars respond to crashes.  Yes, a wagon will still squish you, can't escape physics.  But I've seen moderns roll off the A road and drivers walk away. Stuff that would have killed you 30 years ago has people walking away these days.

+1. We all moan about airbag lights and nannying seat belt reminders but EuroNCAP (for it is mostly them) have made motoring a lot safer than it was. 

We all think we'll never need them but it only takes a lorry next to you to have a puncture on the motorway and suddenly you're the business end of a pile up. 

Fortunately I've never experienced an airbag in action (although I've witnessed a few tests). Have any shiters felt the kiss of an airbag during a Traffic Incident?

[AnnoyingPentium]

24 minutes ago, SteersWithThrottle said:

Headlights on moderns that leave a fucking x-ray of your skull on your headlining as you pass them.

LEDs were bad enough but now they are using actual fucking lasers FFS. Since the main/dip is all computer controlled these days, WCPGW?

Yes. Try being in a lower car when some twit in a new Rav4 has their high beam LEDs on.

[New POD]

34 minutes ago, grogee said:

+1. We all moan about airbag light.....

Have any shiters felt the kiss of an airbag during a Traffic Incident?

Yes.  The airbag is the reason I walked away with only a small burn (From the airbag) from a self inflicted crash into a lamp post. 

[AnnoyingPentium]

That poor wee Astra.