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Car features you don't like


Missy Charm

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I cannot believe no one has mentioned electric handbrakes yet!

Y'know how most people used to be content with a steel rope connected to a big visible lever between the seats?

You could even look in a strangers car and see whether the handbrake was on!

But now, for our convenience you have a button! A button (which can go wrong/fill up with coffee etc.) connected by flimsy wires to a control unit (which can collect moisture/be blown up by dodgy mechanics) connected (by more wires) to some crappy motors (in plastic, moisture collecting casings) bolted to the calipers the steel wire used to go to.

Some cars have ones that release automatically, some dont. Some work independantly of the ignition, some dont. Some have push buttons, some have pull switches. Compared to a handbrake, that works the same on most cars!

Hell mend you if you dont use the correct procedure when changing the brake pads!

ARGH!

My impreza is a bit more analogue with a handbrake and some steel cables. It does, however have this annoying button....

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next to the clock, marked 'BRIGHT'. All it does is dim the clock! Thats it! Why?!

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1 hour ago, delux said:

I cannot believe no one has mentioned electric handbrakes yet!

Add in electronic throttles as well.

There was nothing wrong with a cable. About 3 things that could go wrong.

Now you need a computer, sensors, wiring, power, motors....

'Ah but you can have different drive modes now'

They've always existed,  Sports mode = pressing the fucking pedal harder than ususal.

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Automatic transmissions. Yeah, I know, they have a lot of fans on here, but I just can't be doing with them. I'm driving, therefore I decide what gear we're in - not the car!

I do understand that they're of great help to some people though.

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7 hours ago, delux said:

I cannot believe no one has mentioned electric handbrakes yet!

Y'know how most people used to be content with a steel rope connected to a big visible lever between the seats?

You could even look in a strangers car and see whether the handbrake was on!

But now, for our convenience you have a button! A button (which can go wrong/fill up with coffee etc.) connected by flimsy wires to a control unit (which can collect moisture/be blown up by dodgy mechanics) connected (by more wires) to some crappy motors (in plastic, moisture collecting casings) bolted to the calipers the steel wire used to go to.

Some cars have ones that release automatically, some dont. Some work independantly of the ignition, some dont. Some have push buttons, some have pull switches. Compared to a handbrake, that works the same on most cars!

Hell mend you if you dont use the correct procedure when changing the brake pads!

ARGH!

My impreza is a bit more analogue with a handbrake and some steel cables. It does, however have this annoying button....

spacer.png

next to the clock, marked 'BRIGHT'. All it does is dim the clock! Thats it! Why?!

My wife’s Bini Countryman has a manual handbrake but it’s a sort of T bar arrangement and is awkward to use. Design over function, but that’s Binis for you.

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8 hours ago, taxi paul said:

My alphard beeps when the elecric side door opens. Really annoys the camper conversion owners. Who wake up for a wee at two in the morning. Then have to open the door to access awning for toilet. Only to wake half the site with a very loud beeping. Also beeps in the car when you select reverse. Plus when you leave the lights on and take keys out. 

My Celica beeped to tell you that you'd successfully selected reverse gear. To the uninitiated, it would sound like reversing beepers, until you'd crunch into a wall. 

Having fitted proper sensors I then went onto the forums and found out how to disable Toyota's stupid beep. 

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+1 for lane keep assist. Had a hire Corsa with it, it was downright dangerous on country lanes. Fine, I though, I'll turn it off. Could I find the button? Could I bollox.

+1 for "bad" climate control. The one in our Alfa 159 is bloody awful. Sometimes I just want fresh, unconditioned air from outside blowing to my face - but it won't let me. 

+1 for electric handbrakes on manuals. Have you tried parallel parking on a hill with one? What a ballache. 

I drove a Peugeot once (5008 I think) that had a head-up display that flashed if you drove too close. Fine, well done, but it smacked of an unfinished adaptive cruise system (which wasn't available).

We are now at a point where manufacturers are just pulling shit out of the air and saying, "that's a good feature". The new Range Rover has adaptive off-road cruise control.

Why? Who drives off-road in a £100,000 car and doesn't drive carefully? Who will actually use that feature?

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7 minutes ago, grogee said:

+1 for "bad" climate control. The one in our Alfa 159 is bloody awful. Sometimes I just want fresh, unconditioned air from outside blowing to my face - but it won't let me. 

I've only ever come across one climate control system I liked, and even then it was okay at best. Every FL Auris on TR spec and above (IIRC) got dual-zone climate which wasn't too bad, not that complex either.

Didn't get to use individual climate settings as it would cause my Mum to go off one because the temperatures didn't match. So defeated the point of dual-zone just a wee bit. Hahaha.

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I just leave climate on the desired temperature, turn on the AC button and press auto and auto recirc. Then leave it alone. Forever. If the Mrs wants it warmer, she just turns the temp up on her side. When she isn't in the car, I turn off the dual function. It still stays in auto.

If I need Max demist, I press that button and then press auto again when I don't need it.

Why would you mess around with a system that keeps the temperature just so? Do you constantly adjust the central heating in your house? Of course not.

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I agree with almost all of the above especially auto handbrake and touch screens.

The only auto feature I like is auto choke (if it works), and I can live with an auto gearbox in the right car. Other than that, I will tell the car what I want it to do and when thank you.

Anyone know if the "wipe when washing screen" feature can be turned off on a 3B Passat? That's about the only auto thing it does and I want to get the screen wet before dragging the wipers over it

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3 minutes ago, bunglebus said:

Anyone know if the "wipe when washing screen" feature can be turned off on a 3B Passat? That's about the only auto thing it does and I want to get the screen wet before dragging the wipers over it

You can set how many times it wipes on the Fabia using VAG-COM. Currently mine is standard so it washes, then it's screeching for the last two out of the four wipes.

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Touch screen for radio, menu settings etc....perfectly fine, good way to implement it, but for heater controls, no absolutely not

Nothing so much annoys me per say, just stuff like an electronic handbrake.....I don't like them, I like a manual handbrake so it can sit there not being used all year and then I panic at MOT time 🤣

I certainly think the stuff fitted to cars these days is getting better than a few years ago, especially regarding integration and touch screens 

Adaptive cruise control etc is fantastic 

Land departure warning I don't like, I get why it's there but it gets on my nerves whenever I drive dad's civic 

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AEB (Automatic Emergency Braking). In theory, it means that the car will apply the brakes to prevent you from rear-ending the vehicle in front. In practice, I suspect it's caused more accidents than it's prevented. This is because of the emergency stops it causes the car to perform for no apparent reason. Genuinely terrifying. 

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I like auto headlights since it stops the fuckwits from going unseen and causing accidents. I don't like high-beam assist though, just encourages further laziness, and isn't very proactive. Better than the twits that don't dip their lights at all, mind you.

 

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Tech that doesn't work well.  Anything you regularly use that involves having to dive into the screen for like temp controls. The Volvo V90 was terrible for this.  The C4 Cactus I had was even worse. Golf MK7.5 had a screen but at least the essentials are on buttons. 

No voice recognition I've used has understood me, even when I try and enunciate it's still hopeless. 

My biggest hate - electric folding mirrors - they should either fold when locked, or have a big fuck off button that works without the ignition on (so I can push it once I'm out the door). Otherwise they are pointless as I then have no mirror available to use before I open my door. 

I'm all for the tech when it works.

I found the electronic handbrake setup on the Volvo V90 and Golf Mk7.5 (auto /dsg) I had to be excellent. Squeeze the brake pedal when at a stop and it holds it for you, (so you can take your feet off the pedals) brilliant. 

(You can easily overide it, if for example you had to leave it parked for a month)

Or use the Adaptive cruise that works from 0 mph and creeps for you in traffic jams (and steers as well in the Volvo), mint.

Made the twice daily trawl on the M8 just that little bit less shite. Appreciate as a new car these things are great, but I would not want to have them going boink outside a warranty. 

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37 minutes ago, maxxo said:

 

I certainly think the stuff fitted to cars these days is getting better than a few years ago, especially regarding integration and touch screens 

I guess you've not driven any of the recent VAG stuff with the latest touch screen and touch sensitive slider controls and buttons on the wheel, its much much worse than it ever was, the mk7 golf's infotainment and controls were simplicity in itself, the mk8's is a complete clusterfuck. 

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In the Transit, I've had a few episodes of bombing along listening to a podcast.. Smith and Sniff or whatever, then the voice control decides that some sentence they  said sets off the voice control, so the daft van asks who I want to send the text message to, or starts calling Dave, or Steve.

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I do understand the frustration with ventilation  controls, but I suspect mainly because I’ve never driven anything modern or posh for any length of time. The MG ZT-T I borrowed for a bit last summer had controls with all manner of buttons and I could never get it to behave how I wanted, and then when it did behave it was always adjusting itself.
 

A couple of knobs (fnarrrr) or sliders will do just nicely thanks - although I do appreciate that over the course of a journey involving a warm up, motorway, and then slower roads, there is a fair amount of twiddling to keep things demisted and at a pleasant temperature. 

The controls our current car sports - super easy to operate without looking at them, and the sliders on the individual face vents allow you to access air to the face regardless of what other direction you have air diverted. Perfect!

 

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11 hours ago, D.E said:

My 205 in highly luxurious* GR spec has a buzzer for when you open one of the front doors while the lights are on, but annoyingly it doesn't distinguish wether the engine is running or not. 

I kinda wish my Volvo did have this tbh, sometimes the lights automatically turn off when I turn the ignition off and sometimes they don't. Sometimes I remember to turn the lights off myself, and sometimes I don't. I've never left them on overnight and deadened the battery, but one day I will, probably when I've driven into the middle of rural Northumberland on my own.

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12 minutes ago, AnnoyingPentium said:

I imagine we have the same issue, aye.

Me.Right Traaaaaaaansit, ya bastard, tak me tae Tillicoutry.

Van.I'm sorry, I didn't understand that...

Us Scots all have a telephone voice.. now I need a Ford voice.. there is a whole new language I need to learn in my Focus' handbook.

Self driving cars are going to be fun..

 

 

 

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We've got those Alexa things in the house for playing music...

Me: Alexa, play Something Good by Utah Saints

Alexa: I couldn't find anything good by utah saints, here is some other music.

Me: Och Alexa, hawd yer wheesht.

Alexa: switches off

Me: fine then.

Now that's enough O/T lol.

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2 hours ago, grogee said:

My Celica beeped to tell you that you'd successfully selected reverse gear. To the uninitiated, it would sound like reversing beepers, until you'd crunch into a wall. 

Having fitted proper sensors I then went onto the forums and found out how to disable Toyota's stupid beep. 

I think everyone does the same, it's a weird feature.

It did save my skin a couple of times though, as I felt 1st and reverse were uncomfortably close together and vague, at least on mine.  Went to rag it away from the lights, into what I thought was 1st and 'beeep... beeep'... oh fuck!

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