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What car turns you into a raging twat?


loserone

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1 minute ago, Shirley Knott said:

I came here to suggest them too but you beat me to it!

I actually won, and still own the one from that roffle that BigManSpaff (Remember him?) basically trolled to death almost de-railing the entire thread. His vitriol towards them was pretty intense.

Long story short, s'alright. It's never going to set the world on fire but it's a torquey old thing and with the 8V 2.0 lump it's fairly simple without much to go wrong. It's currently being piloted by my wife on her daily 20 mile commute without much fuss, all the while providing electric everything, climatronic AC and achieving nearly 40mpg.

Yep that's the cunt, he derailed my thread too, useless prick, mine was a good car and served me (and a couple of shiters well)

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42 minutes ago, Dick Longbridge said:

What didn't rot profusely in 1976 though? Agreed on them being good cars overall though. 

Ironically, Allegros. The designers were determined not to do another total rot box like the 1100/1300, and actually listened to the production engineers at Pressed Steel on how to avoid obvious rust traps, which is more than Issigonis ever did…

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4 minutes ago, AnthonyG said:

Ironically, Allegros. The designers were determined not to do another total rot box like the 1100/1300, and actually listened to the production engineers at Pressed Steel on how to avoid obvious rust traps, which is more than Issigonis ever did…

You sure? 😄

an-abandoned-and-decaying-austin-allegro-estate-car-2CKCWBG.jpg

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23 minutes ago, sierraman said:

I think most people were disappointed in the Mk3 Golf GTIs lack of power but then again most of the hot hatches round that time were limp. Looked good though and felt a quality product. 

I really liked mine...

...even though it was slower than the XR3i I had before...

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35 minutes ago, sierraman said:

I think most people were disappointed in the Mk3 Golf GTIs lack of power but then again most of the hot hatches round that time were limp. Looked good though and felt a quality product. 

I liked mine with the 2.8 VR6 lump. That and the mulberry leather. They did/do love to rot though. 

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18 minutes ago, Dick Longbridge said:

I liked mine with the 2.8 VR6 lump. That and the mulberry leather. They did/do love to rot though. 

They dropped the ball there, because the late MK1 and MK2 were pretty rust resistant. There must have been some cost cutting.

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2 minutes ago, artdjones said:

They dropped the ball there, because the late MK1 and MK2 were pretty rust resistant. There must have been some cost cutting.

For sure. They reverted back to better rust resistance for the mk4. The mk3 was a proper oddball though. Mrs DL owned a mk3 97 mk3 tdi Golf and we sold it when it was around ten years old. That thing was seriously crispy on top and underneath by then. You could just tell it wouldn't survive another couple of winters unless some major work was untaken to slow down the gingerness. My brother bought one of my old mk3 vr6s from me at a similar age and sold it to one of his mates after leaving it laid up for 18 months. Apparently the mate spent the next few days welding it up. The bodywork on that one looked clean but it was fizzing away at  a rate of knots below the underseal. 

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3 minutes ago, artdjones said:

And the mk 5 regressed again after the 4.

I'd say you're right on that one. I see a lot of "like-new" early 2000s reg Mk4s, and there's a 56 Golf or two (ages with my Fabia) kicking about that looks as if they've been dragged out of a swamp.

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5 hours ago, Dick Longbridge said:

I liked mine with the 2.8 VR6 lump. That and the mulberry leather. They did/do love to rot though. 

i had a mulberry highline complete with matching leather! Paid £350 for it off the original owner in 2013 with a bit of a rattly chain, ragged the balls off it and scrapped it when i put a trolley jack through the sill 3 months later. Great buy though. 

 

VR6 2.jpg

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My only persistent annoyance is VW's quest to make every car on the road the same by taking A car and copying it to every one of their sub brands.   So if there's a new sub compact MPV you can bet there's going to be one in VW, Seat and Skoda flavour. if they can be bothered they may even tart it up a bit and make it an Audi.

I understand manufacturers want to share platforms and engines across their models but especially in the cheaper models but they start with something bland then make it blander and most basic as it rolls out to the sub brands.

The absolute pinnacle of this and the one that boils by piss the most are the hateful trio of the 2010's VW Jetta,  Seat Toledo and Skoda Rapid.

These are like a turnip, which is an already boring vegetable boiled down for 14 hours until all goodness and and flavour is removed.

Now I believe the Jetta amazingly is a different platform from the Skoda and and Seat but it's equally as tedious. They're dull, they're pretty horrible inside and they all have an awful selection of the same small petrol and diesel engine.

I guess this was VW trying to corner the Taxi market after the old taxi only Octavia A4 was eventually retired but good god they're awful.

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Lets look at the interior of the Skoda. Obviously not helped it it looks like someone has taken a waz on the seats.  Horrible grey everywhere. 

Ever detail that could have lifted the cabin removed. Even the fake silver trim is grey rather than silver.

Every time I see one I just feel sorry for the people having to drive it even more so if it's a taxi driver as they probably didn't have a choice. A personal buyer could at least have chosen something else.

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I don't like the Fabia saloon, but not because of the fact it's a Fabia hatch with some sort of hideous growth on it. I don't like the fact it was only sold in some weird version of the 'Classic' spec seen on the hatch and estate where you got air conditioning in some cases if you were a lucky sod. The choice of engine was seriously limited too (two 1.4 16v petrols and a 1.9 SDI). Skoda missed a trick by not selling a 1.9 TDI mid or top spec version here, I reckon. It doesn't mean I wouldn't buy one and start retrofitting niceties and all that shite to it. 

But my god it is ugly, in a charming "I really need my eyes tested" sort of way... I mean, look at this Bronze Beast.

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Jazzy...

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16 hours ago, Dick Longbridge said:

For sure. They reverted back to better rust resistance for the mk4. The mk3 was a proper oddball though. Mrs DL owned a mk3 97 mk3 tdi Golf and we sold it when it was around ten years old. That thing was seriously crispy on top and underneath by then. You could just tell it wouldn't survive another couple of winters unless some major work was untaken to slow down the gingerness. My brother bought one of my old mk3 vr6s from me at a similar age and sold it to one of his mates after leaving it laid up for 18 months. Apparently the mate spent the next few days welding it up. The bodywork on that one looked clean but it was fizzing away at  a rate of knots below the underseal. 

I’ve just bought a 2000 X plate cabriolet and it is just basically a MK3 Golf plus I’ve also had the same car on an P plate with the MK3 front end previously 

I will say although it’s the same car as the MK3 I had the  late Mk3.5 examples really are well screwed together as this neglected old banger hasn’t any rot and has lots of rust protection.

The earlier example  I had was a lower mileage garage queen and about 12 years old at the time and I did need to keep on top of things to stop the rust bug getting to it.

This one I’ve got now hasn’t been given a clean in years and when I dug out a bucket of compost from under the front liners it was still like new whereas my earlier car had a little rot starting in the same place and nowhere as much muck underneath and was a southern car so didn’t see many harsh winters.

I also have an old early MK4 V5 and will say the build quality on those is amazing as the one I’ve got lived one street away from the seafront for 7 years and in all that time it never got as much as a bucket and sponge thrown at it and is still completely rot free although both are a pretty boring drive if I’m honest.

 

 

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I absolutely despise Land Rovers in general but particularly Disco 1s and 2s, every single fucking time someone I know buys one it turns out to be an unreliable, overpriced heap of rotten shit, absolutely irredeemable stains on British car history  that are mostly owned by boring cunts who'd have a brain aneurysm if a single original thought came into their heads.

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img_1932.jpg?resize=600,400

The Rover Metro / Rover 100 they can all GET IN THE FUCKING SEA

The original Mini-Metro and Mk 2 A series Metro's were of their time.
You could forgive the tendency to rust, because all Austin Rover and pretty much all Fords and Vauxhalls of that time did too.
The 4 speed A series lifted straight from the Mini was unrefined, but the Metro got the 1.3 donkey as standard which the Mini didnt get at the time for a bit of extra ooomph.
Slightly warmed over MG Turbot versions would suit the boy racer and they felt very similar to the Mini in handling - very much like a go-kart.
Saggy hydrolastic suspension if kept pumped up handled bumps well enough and didnt let the car lean too alarmingly in hard cornering.
Interior trim was basic but well laid out. Though it was supposed to replace the Mini, it didnt but it was a nice small hatch for those who had no need of a bigger car, but wanted something a little more refined than the Mini. Vanden Plank versions came with leather and more toys than you could shake a stick at.

It was however a car designed in the 70's using a lot of tech from the 50's It had its day. I had one and loved it. Greasing nipples, oiling the dash pot, painting tide marks. Ahh jumpers for goal posts.

The R6 K series should have been light-years ahead. It wasnt. 
Penny pinching and cost cuts meant that the re-designed Metro ended up being a face-lift. Albeit with the (1970's designed) kettle series engines. Same build quality - same dire rusting issues that plagued the Mk1 and Mk2 were carried over into the R6 platform.
They should have killed it. The Rover 200 should have been the Metro replacement. Instead my father bought two, which meant I ended up owning two.
A 1991 H plate 1.1 which had the same brown interior and dash as my previous D plate Mk2 but with an engine that felt gutless compared with the 1.3 A series. Rusty arches and door bottoms. Then a few years later a P reg 1.4 16v  more fun to drive but still with rust breaking out under the arches and the jacking points on the sills. The interior was just the same, albeit a different colour and with some faux wood to the D plate car from 1986.
Coupled with a crash test rating of "YOU ARE GONNA DIE" when everything else was at a minimum "MAIM BUT WALK AGAIN" through to "NOT A SCRATCH" this was a car that was frankly left to limp on for far too long.

It should have been taken outside and shot.
In 1991

I know some people will look back on them with fondness because they had one in their youth. But these are people who have no other benchmark by which to measure the R6 with other cars of the time.

They should ALL be crushed.

 

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Not a specific car, but a function of a lot of cars these days.. warning alarm for seatbelt not being worn.  Makes me irrationally angry and all I want to do is stab the sounder with a large flatblade screwdriver, repeatedly until it shuts up.  If I need to move a car about for a few hundred yards, up a driveway or some other situation, I'm not going to wear a belt, and thats my cocking choice.  Stop telling me what to do and just generally fuck off.  Now.

One of the things I like about the Merc.  It will warn you if you've left your lights on, which is handy.  It will advise if you've pulled away with the handbrake on, which is sensible.  But you can drive it down the motorway with your belt off in absolute silence without a single warning noise or lamp.  Good.

I've been known to pull the passenger seatbelt over and click it into the drivers reciever before now to shut a know-it-all car up before now.  If anything, the warning beep makes me more intent on driving without my belt on.

Yes, I know... I should always wear a seatbelt yadda yadda.  One saved my life once, I know how important they are.   It's still my sodding choice to put it on, not the cocking vehicle.

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I don't mind the 90s Volvo approach to the seatbelt warning of having it tick like the indicators, it's not too grating when you're shuffling it around but starts to get on your tits by the time you should probably be wearing a seatbelt.

Flying along the farm track at my unit in the 205 with no seatbelt on is quite enough for me.

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7 hours ago, cort16 said:

My only persistent annoyance is VW's quest to make every car on the road the same by taking A car and copying it to every one of their sub brands.   So if there's a new sub compact MPV you can bet there's going to be one in VW, Seat and Skoda flavour. if they can be bothered they may even tart it up a bit and make it an Audi.

I understand manufacturers want to share platforms and engines across their models but especially in the cheaper models but they start with something bland then make it blander and most basic as it rolls out to the sub brands.

The absolute pinnacle of this and the one that boils by piss the most are the hateful trio of the 2010's VW Jetta,  Seat Toledo and Skoda Rapid.

These are like a turnip, which is an already boring vegetable boiled down for 14 hours until all goodness and and flavour is removed.

Now I believe the Jetta amazingly is a different platform from the Skoda and and Seat but it's equally as tedious. They're dull, they're pretty horrible inside and they all have an awful selection of the same small petrol and diesel engine.

I guess this was VW trying to corner the Taxi market after the old taxi only Octavia A4 was eventually retired but good god they're awful.

s-l1600.jpg

s-l1600.jpg

s-l1600.jpg

Lets look at the interior of the Skoda. Obviously not helped it it looks like someone has taken a waz on the seats.  Horrible grey everywhere. 

Ever detail that could have lifted the cabin removed. Even the fake silver trim is grey rather than silver.

Every time I see one I just feel sorry for the people having to drive it even more so if it's a taxi driver as they probably didn't have a choice. A personal buyer could at least have chosen something else.

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

I wrote about the MQB platform once and ended up making this. Supposedly different cars but all the same tedious VAGness.

 

41219967-A43C-4479-BC5F-52EE84312572.jpeg

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40 minutes ago, motorpunk said:

I wrote about the MQB platform once and ended up making this. Supposedly different cars but all the same tedious VAGness.

 

41219967-A43C-4479-BC5F-52EE84312572.jpeg

They’re just so bland but that’s obviously what people want . Loads of manufactures sell more interesting better made stuff but they seem to be able to make a jacked up polo with a 1 litre engine  for 20 grand seem desirable  to the GP. Some of the interiors are GRIM too.

65ff7122c0a647a9a01a734f057691d8.jpg

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7 hours ago, AnnoyingPentium said:

I don't like the Fabia saloon, but not because of the fact it's a Fabia hatch with some sort of hideous growth on it. I don't like the fact it was only sold in some weird version of the 'Classic' spec seen on the hatch and estate where you got air conditioning in some cases if you were a lucky sod. The choice of engine was seriously limited too (two 1.4 16v petrols and a 1.9 SDI). Skoda missed a trick by not selling a 1.9 TDI mid or top spec version here, I reckon. It doesn't mean I wouldn't buy one and start retrofitting niceties and all that shite to it. 

But my god it is ugly, in a charming "I really need my eyes tested" sort of way... I mean, look at this Bronze Beast.

27114b67dbf14250b8da826ec9ce54ac.jpg

Jazzy...

413256fcde7749459b0d483c1c1ad611.jpg

Meh.  Poor man's Seat Cordoba.

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  • loserone changed the title to What car turns you into a raging twat?

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