Motor Industry Graffiti

[worldofceri]

On the loading bay door at the city centre Sainsbury’s in Sheffield was (maybe still is) carved, in pretty big letters, “OPEN NOW FUCKERS OR U GET SUM OF THE DRIVER”. [sic]

Always used to make me chuckle. Ironically I never used to have to wait long there compared with some other supermarkets.

Shame I never had a camera on my phone in those days.

[robinmasters]

I used to work in a supermarket, and this was on the safety instructions on one of the trolleys we used to bring stock out on.

I spent the first five minutes of every shift finding this trolley. 

p

[sutty2006]

Even the bananas at work aren’t safe. 

[DodgyBastard]

On 11/25/2021 at 9:30 AM, Timewaster said:

I can't remember where I saw it, it might have been on As, but I remember a picture of a rough gnarly old quarry truck, weather beaten and exposed to the elements. 

On the dash board were 3 old lucas switches, marked up in hand written tipp-ex "Lights", "Wiper" and "Fuck knows" 

It was in a quarry which had a few scrap cars dumped around it near fort William.

 

[Matty]

[CreepingJesus]

First Arnold Clark garage I worked in had the bothy redecorated at one point, and so the shiny new elf'n'safety signs didn't last long: the one I remember most clearly was the 'thoroughly' in 'Now wash your hands thoroughly' being amended to 'ugly' and attributed to Ian, who wasn't pretty, and was generally the butt of any joke going.

Who it was who'd amended the big 'Arnold Clark' on a motivational poster on the opposite wall, to 'An old cunt' with cut up bits of other posters and numberplate stickers, went unrecorded. It was a very neat job, but they left me enough space to scrawl 'except cunts have warmth, depth and are enjoyable and useful to humanity' under it. Thankfully, Uncle Arnold never sullied himself by visiting such places on his regular drop-ins.

Another garage I worked in, where the general manager made a habit of avoiding the bothy unless absolutely necessary, had 'Scott is a fudge packer' spray painted in 12" tall letters along the wall by the door. The GM spotted this one time, and - somewhat suspiciously of course - demanded an explanation. My boss, Andy, being an absolute legend of bullshittery, explained that was because Scott had taken on extra work with Cadbury's, assembling the selection boxes the Xmas past. In Greenock. Said GM accepted the explanation just fine, and got back to what he'd actually deigned to enter our nether hell for. I had to hide myself in the boot of a car, pretending to do something, cos I was powerless with suppressed laughter...

In there too, we'd instituted the 'special tools' board in the workshop manager's office: y'know, the one for the expensive/specialised/MOT test 'communal' tools etc.; this gained a cock'n'balls, complete with appropriately positioned screws, at the (estimated) correct height for him to hang his tackle on if he felt like it. How kind! How thoughtful! Don't know why he was so unimpressed. Some people...honestly...

[grogee]

1 hour ago, CreepingJesus said:

First Arnold Clark garage I worked in had the bothy redecorated at one point, and so the shiny new elf'n'safety signs didn't last long: the one I remember most clearly was the 'thoroughly' in 'Now wash your hands thoroughly' being amended to 'ugly' and attributed to Ian, who wasn't pretty, and was generally the butt of any joke going.

Who it was who'd amended the big 'Arnold Clark' on a motivational poster on the opposite wall, to 'An old cunt' with cut up bits of other posters and numberplate stickers, went unrecorded. It was a very neat job, but they left me enough space to scrawl 'except cunts have warmth, depth and are enjoyable and useful to humanity' under it. Thankfully, Uncle Arnold never sullied himself by visiting such places on his regular drop-ins.

Another garage I worked in, where the general manager made a habit of avoiding the bothy unless absolutely necessary, had 'Scott is a fudge packer' spray painted in 12" tall letters along the wall by the door. The GM spotted this one time, and - somewhat suspiciously of course - demanded an explanation. My boss, Andy, being an absolute legend of bullshittery, explained that was because Scott had taken on extra work with Cadbury's, assembling the selection boxes the Xmas past. In Greenock. Said GM accepted the explanation just fine, and got back to what he'd actually deigned to enter our nether hell for. I had to hide myself in the boot of a car, pretending to do something, cos I was powerless with suppressed laughter...

In there too, we'd instituted the 'special tools' board in the workshop manager's office: y'know, the one for the expensive/specialised/MOT test 'communal' tools etc.; this gained a cock'n'balls, complete with appropriately positioned screws, at the (estimated) correct height for him to hang his tackle on if he felt like it. How kind! How thoughtful! Don't know why he was so unimpressed. Some people...honestly...

A healthy workplace is a productive workplace. Good work all round. 

[Pieman]

On 12/2/2021 at 12:18 PM, martc said:

My girlfriend lives in Penistone, and everyone in her family, even her 84-year old grandma, calls it "Penis Town".

I'll endeavour to take pics of any comedy graffiti I spot for this thread - sometimes I wish a large proportion of people's humour extended beyond drawing cocks on things. 

 

[Dick Longbridge]

An oldie but a goodie...

 

[Dick Longbridge]

Ingenious. 

 

[CreepingJesus]

I scrawled a few things on the backs of trailers, if that counts.

The 'best' one that springs to mind, was on the back of my own trailer, in utterly foul winter weather. It wasn't mine for much longer, cos I'd been diverted to help a mate in trouble: we swapped over, he fucked off sharpish. 

Couple of days later in the yard, I heard 'Haw you, ya bastart...!' and I was delighted to hear his tale of the strange behaviour of other motorists around him that night. I didn't have to admit who'd scrawled 'Honk if overtaking, driver may be half asleep', my mirth said enough. I didn't actually think it would work, mind you...

[Matty]

23 minutes ago, CreepingJesus said:

I scrawled a few things on the backs of trailers, if that counts

You've just jogged my memory. I wrote "honk if you support the homosexual truck drivers club of Great Britain" on the back of my mate Georges wagon at work in permanent marker. He went down to Kent and back twice and went fuckin space age at me when he finally seen it. He made me repaint his trailer which I thought was fair dos 😁

[Dick Longbridge]

3 hours ago, Matty said:

You've just jogged my memory. I wrote "honk if you support the homosexual truck drivers club of Great Britain" on the back of my mate Georges wagon at work in permanent marker. He went down to Kent and back twice and went fuckin space age at me when he finally seen it. He made me repaint his trailer which I thought was fair dos 😁

That really made me belly laugh. Brilliant! 

I guess the question remains as to whether he received any unwanted honking?! 🤣

[Matty]

3 minutes ago, Dick Longbridge said:

That really made me belly laugh. Brilliant 🤣

Tbh I surprised myself. I'm not usually that quick 😆

[yes oui si]

I occasionally do site visits for meetings with companies who are looking to sponsor the people we work with for jobs once their paperwork clears, I'll try to photograph some of the ones I see. 

Also, I'd forgotten how terrifying factory shitters are. One place in Dalkeith had about 100 staff sharing two loos, neither of which were attached to the floor. I hovered. 

The cubical wall had "I wis gonna draw a picture of <name> but the walls no big enough, the fat fuck" 

 

[Dick Longbridge]

6 minutes ago, yes oui si said:

I occasionally do site visits for meetings with companies who are looking to sponsor the people we work with for jobs once their paperwork clears, I'll try to photograph some of the ones I see. 

Also, I'd forgotten how terrifying factory shitters are. One place in Dalkeith had about 100 staff sharing two loos, neither of which were attached to the floor. I hovered. 

The cubical wall had "I wis gonna draw a picture of <name> but the walls no big enough, the fat fuck" 

 

*cubicle

[sheffcortinacentre]

11 hours ago, DodgyBastard said:

It was in a quarry which had a few scrap cars dumped around it near fort William.

 

Recognise back axle on red one with nova but it won't click what it is (fiat, or pug?). Green ones a mini, red one with bullbar lada niva, yellow on MK4 cortina Ghia on top of a messrina

[Lord Sterling]

Yo,

Not exactly "Motor Industry" but graffiti nonetheless...

Some 10 years ago when I was younger and fitter, I worked for a  distribution company contracted to a site in Smethwick. Most it involved spending hours on end in the back of a trailers slowly filling it with boxes. The backs of the trailers were extremely dusty (blowing your nose after working in there saw quite a lot of black stuff infused into your nose greenery) but the battered trailers also sometimes provided entertainment in the forms of the graffiti others working at the HQ or other places these trailers were left at.

Please note, I'm not responsible for any of the graffiti. Enjoy...

 

This one below still makes me laugh for some reason 😆

[sutty2006]

[Matty]

9 minutes ago, sutty2006 said:

That's great but where's the poor bastards knob gone?

[somewhatfoolish]

Jim fixed it for him?

[sutty2006]

It’s a 2D shot, so it’s out of sight 🤣

[tul66]

Not motor industry related but this was left on the windscreen in the centre of Thirsk by a couple of lads I worked on site with. Wankers! 😀

[Dan302]

I used to work for the Police and a great prank was carried out on one of my mates (not by me I might add)

Someone drew a cock and balls on his stab vest with a UV security pen so the next time he arrested someone and stood with him under the black light (used to check prisoners for smart water) in the custody suite it appeared for all to see. 

Apparently the prisoner was crying with laughter 🤣

 

[rainagain]

29 minutes ago, Dan302 said:

I used to work for the Police and a great prank was carried out on one of my mates (not by me I might add)

Someone drew a cock and balls on his stab vest with a UV security pen so the next time he arrested someone and stood with him under the black light (used to check prisoners for smart water) in the custody suite it appeared for all to see. 

Apparently the prisoner was crying with laughter 🤣

 

That reminds me of a great night out I had in Dundee. One of my friends was studying art at the time and she drew intricate tribal tat type designs on our faces in UV ink before we went clubbing. One of my mates had a particularly annoying whiny girlfriend. She asked to get stuff drawn on her as well, my friend obliged but wrote ‘cunt puncher’ across her forehead, telling her it was the best one she’d drawn that night. She had no idea and blissfully danced the night away with everyone around her pissing themselves laughing, even her boyfriend didn't let on (thankfully they broke up not long after as she was a right PITA).

[sutty2006]

Nothing is safe. Even the dust gets it..

 

[GR8 PL8 M8]

Since this has turned into the "workplace graffiti" thread, I thought I'd share a few from mine.

This one always makes me smile:

This one required some censorship I'm afraid:

And this one I found tucked away in a seldom visited room, no-one else knew that it was there or who drew it. I've now set it as the A shift WhatsApp group photo...