Cars of Crackers

[Crackers]

Some old Ex-Berlin buses doing tours in Nuremberg. They are both SD202s, one a 1987 and one a 1988.

[Crackers]

Three shites in a row! 

Well used Coxster

One for the mismatched panel thread. 

106!

[Crackers]

Things have been a little quiet at Chateau Crackers lately since selling the P6, however dad's been feeding back some news on the blue Landy.

A few weeks ago he was asked to ferry a friend's son to his school prom, so before I left for Germany we did a little bit of tinkering to make sure everything's OK after a few months laid up due to the now-resolved running issue. All seemed OK, except for a boss on the steering column has broken, which means the choke cable won't return - fix TBD.

Day after the event, I got this message:

Oh dear... that sounds like a tasty short somewhere in the dash. Oops.

Solihull Spaghetti, reveal yourself!

Yes, a perfect* match** to the wiring diagram. Good. Time to call a Sparkie  Good thing it's easy to remove the doors for better access.

Didn't take the electrician long to find the culprit:

Yep, that's toast. Looks like the choke cable has chafed through the insulation on the main group of wires coming up to the binnacle. Unsure whether this is related to the issue with the choke cable pictured below:

The cable core shouldn't be visible there. The part immediately behind the handle, with the small brass clip attached, is a part of the casting on the right - it's snapped off at some stage and now won't let the cable go back as it should unless you pull it back at the carb. We reckon a bit of high-strength JB weld will probably do the job, as it looks like a swine to replace the whole upper casting on the column. 

The electrician has got everything back up and running again, the only casualty being the dash illumination switch which fell apart, but isn't needed anyway. The lighting was spliced into the side light circuit, so it just lights up as it usually would. It's not like you need the option of switching the instrument lights on with the headlights off, as they're so dim they don't make a difference in daylight anyway. If I can convince him to fit an electric rad fan, a switch for that will probably go in that slot instead.

New oil pressure switch and washer pump fitted, so the washers now work for the first time in his ownership. Also, the sparkie bypassed the central red light on the dash that was discussed in this/another thread when he bought the car, the light was redundant as a trailer-supply indicator because we don't tow.

I believe he's got the electrician coming back soon to look at a general tidy up of the wiring and check over the rest of the loom to just make sure everything's pukka.

In Saab news, I was hoping that the non-functional AC would be fixed by the time I came home. Dad's local garage managed to investigate the major leak for free, but didn't have any slots to repair it until I get home so I'll look at changing this valve/associated o-rings myself. Hopefully that's the only leak in the system, then I can get it tested, vacuumed and regassed/oiled. Fingers crossed!

That pretty much brings things up to speed. I've got a few shite-spots to post and some Modernz which probably won't get much attention on here. Back home at the end of next week!

[Crackers]

Home from Das Deutschland. Nice to be back in the Saab, but a stark reminder of how bad Britain's roads and drivers are! 

Anyway... A bit more BS* below. 

*BavariaShite/BerlinShite

[Crackers]

A bloody Lada Samara! 

Incredible. 

^with rare anti-gravity option. 

[Crackers]

And finally, two oddities. 

The name of the first one is on the tip of my tongue but I can't remember:

And then... This... Thing? 

I honestly can't tell whether it started live as an early 2000s Merc, or a Jag S-type. I can only assume the owner is blind. 

[D.E]

6 minutes ago, Crackers said:

And then... This... Thing? 

I honestly can't tell whether it started live as an early 2000s Merc, or a Jag S-type. I can only assume the owner is blind. 

A Kia Opirus, except for this silly two tone paint they came out of the factory like that...

[LightBulbFun]

7 minutes ago, Crackers said:

And finally, two oddities. 

The name of the first one is on the tip of my tongue but I can't remember:

kinda reminds me of a Bitter SC

but the face just looks a bit wrong like someones punched it in the face and broken its nose LOL 

[Crackers]

1 hour ago, D.E said:

A Kia Opirus, except for this silly two tone paint they came out of the factory like that...

Christ. I honestly though it was a bodykitted something-else. 

A crime against design, if ever there was one. 

[Crackers]

1 hour ago, LightBulbFun said:

kinda reminds me of a Bitter SC

That was my first thought, but it's just not quite right... The boxy arches and sidelight positions just don't quite match. Even Google Lens reckons it's an SC. 

My photo isn't quite clear enough to see the front badge unfortunately. 

[Crackers]

Oh dear, I've just seen a Berlingo van for sale going very cheap down the road. It didn't look too bad... at 30mph, in my headlights, in darkness. Might have a quick gander tomorrow, even though I have neither the need or space for a van.

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, Crackers said:

Oh dear, I've just seen a Berlingo van for sale going very cheap down the road. It didn't look too bad... at 30mph, in my headlights, in darkness. Might have a quick gander tomorrow, even though I have neither the need or space for a van.

They're really smoll. Also easy to sell give away

[Crackers]

Took the 9-5 (which recently became a Saab 9) to the FOD this weekend, well received all round with a few people left quite impressed at its turn of speed. 

Shame the "proper" 95 doesn't have it's face on, but it was nice to get the two side by side this evening for a photo op. 

[Crackers]

Badge engineering.

My front and rear Saab emblems were totally gubbed, so I slapped a new pair on (gen-you-wine OEM Saab, no less) which has really smartened things up. 

In the less successful corner, the "5" of "95" fell off a couple of weeks ago, and I also noticed the R in Aero was wonky, so I thought I'd just go the whole hog and debadge it. Which went well. 

The paint behind the badges is clearly slightly less faded than the rest of the bootlid, and a couple of letters took a tiny bit of paint with them - so you can make out the outline of all the lettering unfortunately. Hopefully after a couple of washes it'll all blend in a bit better.

Looks alright from a few feet back and it's definitely smoothed out the back end, so I'm happy enough but not thrilled. 

[Crackers]

Another job done: Cataract Surgery

The headlights had developed some pretty bad yellowing since I bought it, so based on a recommendation from a thread on here I attacked them with a Holts restoration kit. 

The results speak for themselves, it looks years younger. 

Before:

During:

After:

Still haven't fixed the air con, handbrake and Coolant leak, and it's just started a slight clonk from a bushing in the front somewhere. Leaving that one until the MOT and they'll hopefully locate it. A few jobs on the list then, but all easily achievable in the fullness of time. 

Still love it. ❤️

[Crackers]

The ungrateful prick heard me saying nice things about it. I've clearly thrown out the shite-equilibrium by improving one aspect of the car, so it just blew the passenger door speaker to balance things back out again. 

Can't wait to do battle with 18 year old trim clips... 🙄

[Crackers]

Well that's... unfortunate.

I bought a replacement speaker for the door after it blew up the other day.

Let's get it all apart then:

Amazingly, only 1 trim clip broke! Masking tape is obviously the right fixing method for the door liner, right?

Quick audio test, yes that's definitely the blown speaker. Let's whip that out and get the replacement in then......

...oh.

No, that's not right is it...

It turns out I've got the Harman Kardon sound system in the car, which I had no idea of. I assumed it was the mid-range system so bought the Pioneer speaker, as I thought the HK-equipped cars had a different head unit to the one I've got. I expect the Pioneer speaker will blow up in short order if I stick the H/K amp down it, so it's time to find an HK speaker. Great news, there's a few on ebay... in Lithuania. Literally not a single one for sale in the UK. Don't really want to risk (or pay for) international postage so I've got a bit of sleuthing to do now. Never mind, door all back together minus the speaker, UFN.

In an even more depressing discovery...

Arse.... there's the coolant leak then. It's suddenly gone from a manageable monthly top-up, to a more concerning weekly refill, which means it's got 4x worse than it was. We're taking the car on a road trip in 3 weeks, so the clock is ticking to get that replaced as it'll play on my mind if I'm playing radiator roulette several hundred miles from home with other people driving it...

Had a quick look online and I think I'll farm it out since, as usual, I don't have the time or space to do it before then, and whilst it doesn't look too bad a job there's a couple of potential balls-up points which I'm bound to make a cock of.

No, I still haven't fixed the air con, handbrake, or suspension clonk...

 

Chalk it up as one of those days.

[Wgl2019]

Sorry to hear there are a few bits causing issue 😕

I never knew the Saab had HK speakers...... as I have the old rear door in my garage I thought I would see if it has a suitable replacement for you, it's still HK but unfortunately possibly the least inspiring looking speaker imaginable! 

(you are of course still welcome to it free of charge if it will provide a temporary solution)

 

Edit: I think the rear speaker mounting looks to be smaller than the front ones so won't fit. Probably not much of a loss.

[Crackers]

3 hours ago, Wgl2019 said:

Sorry to hear there are a few bits causing issue 😕

Nothing of your doing, no need to apologise! It's a 18 year old car with 170k on it - there will be issues. 

Yes the rear speaker is a different part number to the fronts - no biggie, I'll just have to play the waiting game on a replacement! 

Yesterday's post sounded a bit despondent but it's only because I want to keep the car as nice as I can, because I can't imagine what I'd replace it with if I had to! 

[Crackers]

Another Saab appeared at Casa Di Crackers yesterday!

Don't panic - just a courtesy car whilst the 9-5 was away having a new radiator and a couple of other leaks sorted out. 

A 9-3 estate, 1.9 diesel, 6 Speed manual. A bit leggy, and it was utterly filthy when I picked it up, but I put 100 miles on it in the evening and really gelled with it. Only a 120bhp diesel but it went well enough and seemed to run on thin air! 

So I treated it to a quick 2-bucket wrongun before I took it back. It came up OK! 

For a garage courtesy car that must get the worst possible treatment, it really did wear it well - rough around the edges, but pretty spot-on to drive. 

[Crackers]

Well the 9-5 has made a return to it's first road trip in my hands and come back to the Welsh highlands. 

We're staying alongside Llyn Celyn, named after the village of Capel Celyn which was submerged in the lake when the dam was built. 

Of course it's a trip for trains:

Unfortunately I am not convinced the new radiator has fixed my coolant concerns as the coolant level seems to have dropped from the level it was at when I collected the car, which is giving me head gasket concerns. I know some people have solved oil and water issues on these by replacing and re-torqueing the head bolts, which is not too hard but a bit involved. Time will tell. I'm hoping for the best 🤞

[Split_Pin]

Whenever I have fitted a new radiator to one of my cars the level usually drops for up to a week after, as all the nooks and crannies are filled. 

[Talbot]

Also, is there a possibility of a pinhole or porus bit of a hose somewhere?  I've had that many times in the past.  Or even just a poor-sealing pressure cap on the expansion bottle, which is allowing vapour to leak away. 

[Saabnut]

7 hours ago, Talbot said:

  Or even just a poor-sealing pressure cap on the expansion bottle, which is allowing vapour to leak away. 

This is a very common fault on these modern Saabs.

[Crackers]

Today didn't go quite according to plan. 

Got up, to drive home from Derbyshire to Sussex. Quick check of levels as I usually do before a long trip and - oh, where's all my coolant gone then? 

Yes, it's in a big red puddle on top of the gearbox. Where's that come from? 

Cock. 

That's had it then! 

The following is copied from the AA tales thread. 

-------------

So, today in a nutshell:

AA call placed at 10:13.

Patrol arrived at about 12:00. Had a quick look at declared in a thick Sheffield accent, "Aye, that's fooked". Did try to bodge it, but the pipe is a moulded one which drops to a smaller diameter beyond the connection to the head (helpful), and he didn't have enough different sized joiners to make up a repair. So it was promptly declared a Relay. 

Loaded up on his van which took a while, and departed Bakewell about 13:15. Furthest he could take us was M1 Leicester Forest services. The onward transporter was requested for 15:30, and arrived at 16:20.

This driver was running against his tacho hours and had to get back to Guildford depot, so couldn't bring the car all the way to Chichester. He said he'd ring me to tell me where he'd be dropping it.

I now have no idea where my car is now. Nobody's rung me to tell me what's happening with it and I expect I'll only know if I ring up the nominated garage tomorrow.

I'd have had it brought home but I don't have time to replace the hose this week, as I'm out after work every night this week. I also want them to sniff-test it for a potential head gasket issue, as I don't trust it isn't pressurising more than it's meant to. So, the fate of the car is a little unknown as of yet. Hopefully it gets down here eventually!

HOWEVER.

Thanks to the endless generosity of the AS fold, I do have a car to run round in until I get the Saab back. @Six-cylinder very kindly drove out to Northampton services with @Andyrew's Eco-Astra, which is now with me temporarily. A massive thank you to both of you for helping a Shiter In Need at point-blank notice!

All in all, I'd say the AA have done a decent job today. All of this was booked through their app, and I haven't had to deal with any call-centre staff. The patrol man and the transporter driver was both friendly and helpful blokes, further confirming my theory that the guys on the ground are a good bunch, who are sadly watching the company going down the drain thanks to hopeless management who just want to pull all the value out of the business and laugh all the way to the bank. 

Oh well, life goes on. 

[mat_the_cat]

Liked for solidarity and the AS help, not the situation.

We really ought to meet up when you come to Wales, although we were about 1000 miles away at the time!

[High Jetter]

AS is maybe the 5th emergency service? (Or 1st for members!)

[Crackers]

Good news! The Saab made it to my local friendly garage last night. I popped in today on my uni break to let them know what was up and was reminded why I use this garage: He confirmed which pipe it was, then scooped one up from under the service desk. As others have said, turns out this is a very common failure, they keep them in stock because they get several in every month for the same part. 

Potentially saves me a bit of time waiting for a part and allows me to continue my evening plans for the week - sometimes it's honestly easier to let someone else handle it, even for a minor part replacement like this!

[mercedade]

19 hours ago, Crackers said:

Good news! The Saab made it to my local friendly garage last night. I popped in today on my uni break to let them know what was up and was reminded why I use this garage: He confirmed which pipe it was, then scooped one up from under the service desk. As others have said, turns out this is a very common failure, they keep them in stock because they get several in every month for the same part. 

Potentially saves me a bit of time waiting for a part and allows me to continue my evening plans for the week - sometimes it's honestly easier to let someone else handle it, even for a minor part replacement like this!

Do you have a description of the pipe that failed? I'm chasing a teeny tiny coolant leak that I do not want to turn into an AA trailer.

[Crackers]

12 hours ago, mercedade said:

Do you have a description of the pipe that failed? I'm chasing a teeny tiny coolant leak that I do not want to turn into an AA trailer.

I'll try and put a pic up when I can get one.