Most stupid message while flogging a shiter

[camryv6]

49 minutes ago, motorpunk said:

"For 50p I will perform a sordid act on your Dog, and film it. Is that low enough?".

This is why I cannot deal with the general public.

I only have 25p cash tonite m8

[straightSix]

[Rod/b]

People are shit. 

[dozeydustman]

I was going to view a 9-5 estate local to me before I bought the 9-3 last week.

Messaged the seller to say I wouldn’t be coming as had bought another car, got a reply of ‘£950 tonight mate’.

[DodgyBastard]

My bike listed at £1895

 

 

Fuck off you twat!

[AnnoyingPentium]

6 minutes ago, DodgyBastard said:

My bike listed at £1895

 

 

Fuck off you twat!

At the end of that first screenshot when he says "you can get..." I'd have said "well fucking buy it then you tool" 😂

[N Dentressangle]

You went much deeper into that 'conversation' than I would have done

[DodgyBastard]

If you tell too many people to fuck off you can be banned from Facebook marketplace and although it is full of penniless roasters there are some genuine buyers out there.

[Vince70]

My R50 was the last car I tried to sell and it’s absolutely immaculate with 95000 on the clock and I put it up for £700 I think and would of gone down to £600 it also had a clean mot after spending £450 on getting all the advisories done.

I put it on Facebook and within two hours I got offered £400 but only if it’s perfect and I had to sell it to the guy as he really wanted a yellow Cooper and when I said No he started with the sob story that he really needed it and would look after it.

Then I had an offer of a non running Bora with No MOT as a straight swap and that was enough plus I got a No show.

It lasted up on Facebook for no more than a few hours and actually it scraps for £370 so will get it out of hibernation next winter.

I might drain the fuel out first as it has a full tank of premium unleaded and put it in the golf.

[lesapandre]

12 minutes ago, Vince70 said:

My R50 was the last car I tried to sell and it’s absolutely immaculate with 95000 on the clock and I put it up for £700 I think and would of gone down to £600 it also had a clean mot after spending £450 on getting all the advisories done.

I put it on Facebook and within two hours I got offered £400 but only if it’s perfect and I had to sell it to the guy as he really wanted a yellow Cooper and when I said No he started with the sob story that he really needed it and would look after it.

Then I had an offer of a non running Bora with No MOT as a straight swap and that was enough plus I got a No show.

It lasted up on Facebook for no more than a few hours and actually it scraps for £370 so will get it out of hibernation next winter.

I might drain the fuel out first as it has a full tank of premium unleaded and put it in the golf.

I just don't get all this. What's the difference for these 'buyers' between say £700 and £900?  Are they that short of cash or do do they hope to buy cheap and then sell on? 

Or is it just a game to see how cheap they can get it?

Or is it just a mix of everything?

I'm assuming if anyone agrees "1500 pick up Sunday" - that if anyone does turn up they then start bartering lower because "you did not tell me it had a tear in the driver's seat" etc etc.

The whole ferrago I assume means a lot of people are just scrapping old cars to avoid the hassle of all this nonsense.

[Datsuncog]

3 hours ago, lesapandre said:

Or is it just a game to see how cheap they can get it?

Probably this.

Seems to be the same when selling anything - we've been clearing out furniture in advance of a house move, and shifting anything on Gumtree/ Facebook Marketplace is a soul-destroying enterprise.

Something that cost say £100 last year, and still available to buy new at that price, was offered out for £25 in as-new condition, just to get it gone.

You'd think that would be enough of a bargain, but no - offers of £10, and then requests to have it delivered to an address that would involve a 100 mile round trip.

And then no-shows, followed by feeble excuses.

This is why so much of our stuff is just going straight to a charity shop, and also probably why so many cars with a bit of life in them are being scrapped - dealing with massive throbbers is enough to make you lose the will to live.

It's not that timewasters never existed, but twenty years ago you had to go to a shop, buy a newspaper, scan through the classifieds, go and stand by the phone in the hall to make a call... there were a few steps involved. 

Now every complete bellend has a direct line to you at the end of their arm, and repeated watching of Bargain Hunt and Wheeler Dealers makes these same twunts think they're some sort of fucking genius deal-maker. Always go in super-low! Ask loads of irrelevant questions! Use the slightest superficial mark as a way to chip your initial offer in half again! Demand a hand-job or it's no deal!

A pox on their shriveled gonads. 

[steveo3002]

some types cant not barter , if you had 6 month old ferrari £1500 theyd ask whats best price will you take £375

doesnt always work out while theyre pestering to buy it for a used sandal or magic carpet sometimes a genuine buyer comes along with real money and you can strike up  fair deal  

[Markeh]

I'm all for a bit of a haggle, indeed haggling is something I enjoy doing a lot - I love nothing more than a bit of bartering on a car boot of a Sunday morning - but maybe find out what you want to know about the item, where I am, or maybe, here's a bold idea, view the damn thing before you haggle. It absolutely fucks me off when someone haggles a price first thing then asks where I am or keeps asking for more info on it that normally results in them offering less - or worse, when they get here and haggle more off. Far as I'm concerned if you've haggled and agreed a price with me before collection, I will not be budging a single penny.

Few months ago I sold an old TV locally. Was listed at £50. This chap kept offering £30, we eventually settled on £40 and me delivering (long story short I was driving past the end of his road anyway). Tried to give me £30 there, I was firm and said no, got my £40, off I go to my destination. Phone's blowing up by the time I get there, oh, the smart TV bit doesn't work properly on it, can you come back. I say yeah I'll come back and refund you later that evening on my way back. He wouldn't give the item back, he was insistent that I should send him £10 via bank transfer and he'd keep the TV. I said it's all or nothing, either I come and get it and take it back or you live with it. Silence. All that hassle just to get an extra tenner out of me.

I was in absolute disbelief when I sold the Meriva earlier this week - went up on Facebook Marketplace on the Sunday evening at £1250, first person to message me asked for a contact number and when I was about, rang me the next day, came and viewed it, no hassle, pointed out a couple of bits and haggled a little, £1100 we came to. No hassle, no grief, money straight in my account not 5 minutes later.

Compared to the usual "cash 2nite" bellends it was a refreshing change!

[dozeydustman]

A lot of people on Facebook Mongketplace just tap the default “Is this available?” Message when you go to communicate with the seller. By and large when I reply to one of those, radio silence ensues.

I write my own message and ask for more details, never make an offer until I see in person and I don’t make a twatty low-ball. If something’s up for £1100 I’ll ask for £x off to fill the tank. Bartering can often be hassle for the buyer as well as the seller.

[cobblers]

 

11 minutes ago, dozeydustman said:

A lot of people on Facebook Mongketplace just tap the default “Is this available?” Message when you go to communicate with the seller. By and large when I reply to one of those, radio silence ensues.

I was selling (and still am) a pickup bed tent on marketplace - a tent that fits in the bed of a pickup truck. 

25 seconds after I listed it, the "Is this still available" messages started. Over the space of a few days I counted nearly 100 contacts.

80% of people never even replied to the "yes, I still have it". Of the 20%, every single one of them was a complete idiot in one way or another.

"will it fit my double cab ranger/defender/some other pickup with a tiny bed"

"I've listed the dimensions in the ad, it's a fairly small tent. I don't know how big your truck is, is the bed long enough to lay down in?"

"oh nowhere near mate its only about 4 foot long if that"

"it's a fucking tent mate not a tardis"

 

another one

"would it fit in a caddy?"

"yes, it rolls up quite compact"

"no I mean would it fit in there built up?"

"why the fuck would you want to do that?"

"There's holes in the roof from a light bar that leak sometimes"

[Supernaut]

On the other hand, there's a local trader selling cars on FB marketplace.

I say selling, likely not selling them. They don't seem to be shifting, and I'll explain why below.

 

The other day he put up a rather nice yellow Peugeot 107, reasonable mileage, long MOT, good price. I sent a polite, coherent message asking if he was available for a viewing.

Silence.

I sent another message yesterday stating I am still interested.

Nada.

The ad is still up, the car isn't marked as sold.

 

He also has several other cars for sale, with several week old adverts.

No phone number, no address, nothing. No other means of contact.

It turns out you can submit feedback on sellers, so I submitted the "does not respond" feedback. This guy has an average of 3 stars already from only 7 reviews. Whoops!

[motorpunk]

Anyone else had this scenario? I had a mint E46 330Ci, very low mileage, FSH. I forget how much it was up for but I had some guy ask me a million questions... I answered them all and just said "come and see it". He didn't. I then part-exchanged the BMW against another car I wanted, no messing, specialist dealer, job done. Then the original guy calls me and says he wants to view. I said it's gone. He asked me a load more questions about its history so I ignored him. Then I get increasingly aggressive messages asking who had bought it, what's their number, he really wants the car. I said "it's not my car, fuck off and leave me alone" and yet he begged and cried and demanded I told him who owned the car now. If he had been half right at the start, I would have said it's up at this dealer, call them, but time-watering nutters can FRO. I had a text about 2 years later from who I think is the same guy saying he'd bought his dream E46 now and it's this spec and he loves it blah blah... I might get a burner phone for any future car sales, I don't want nutters getting my number.

[cobblers]

22 minutes ago, motorpunk said:

 I might get a burner phone for any future car sales, I don't want nutters getting my number.

My mate does this when he wheels and deals with old ish VWs. a new PAYG sim card for every car, then he'd leave the simcard in the ashtray when they took the car.

[timolloyd]

Years and years ago I advertised my XJR on eBay.

I think it was very fairly priced at £5.5k. Not crazy, but it was low mileage, full history, pretty perfect.

I was expecting to get around 5 for it.

This guy starts messaging me with some fairly generic questions, but seems keen.

His opening offer?

 

 

 

£750.

 

 

[GR8 PL8 M8]

I've been trying to sell a few old bicycles on Facebook marketplace recently, collection only. The amount of messages that I receive asking where I am, when the listing clearly shows "Listed [time] ago in Slough, England", with a little map showing the approximate location, which I've inputted the first four digits of my postcode into so that my house is actually in the radius shown on the map...

These illiterate morons invariably respond with "too far sorry" after I reiterate where I am. Here's a typical conversation:

And here's another one:

How hard is it to search "Slough" into Google maps? Surely it took longer to message me than to do that? At least they said sorry so they didn't get an arsey response.

I've now starting putting the location in the listing text as well, but that will only stop the likes of the first person, not the second. Who are all these people not utilising the search radius filter?

The other half of messages are people from shithole countries attempting to scam me or fishing for my address. Oh, and this guy:

Culminating in this message, which would make precisely zero sense if you hadn't read the previous conversation:

I did check, and the guy actually lived here, hence why I kept the conversation going for so long. I felt a bit sorry for him to be honest, but there was no way I was going to continue to battle with the Berlin Wall of language barriers.

[lesapandre]

Those seem like non UK-based messages above. I've had people fishing for my my address on various Internet sites.

My hunch is something to do with creating fraudulent bank accounts or other nasty stuff.

[artdjones]

3 hours ago, Datsuncog said:

Probably this.

Seems to be the same when selling anything - we've been clearing out furniture in advance of a house move, and shifting anything on Gumtree/ Facebook Marketplace is a soul-destroying enterprise.

Something that cost say £100 last year, and still available to buy new at that price, was offered out for £25 in as-new condition, just to get it gone.

You'd think that would be enough of a bargain, but no - offers of £10, and then requests to have it delivered to an address that would involve a 100 mile round trip.

And then no-shows, followed by feeble excuses.

This is why so much of our stuff is just going straight to a charity shop, and also probably why so many cars with a bit of life in them are being scrapped - dealing with massive throbbers is enough to make you lose the will to live.

It's not that timewasters never existed, but twenty years ago you had to go to a shop, buy a newspaper, scan through the classifieds, go and stand by the phone in the hall to make a call... there were a few steps involved. 

Now every complete bellend has a direct line to you at the end of their arm, and repeated watching of Bargain Hunt and Wheeler Dealers makes these same twunts think they're some sort of fucking genius deal-maker. Always go in super-low! Ask loads of irrelevant questions! Use the slightest superficial mark as a way to chip your initial offer in half again! Demand a hand-job or it's no deal!

A pox on their shriveled gonads. 

Good rant. Would read again. AAA+++++

[GR8 PL8 M8]

3 minutes ago, lesapandre said:

Those seem like non UK-based messages above. I've had people fishing for my my address on various Internet sites.

My hunch is something to do with creating fraudulent bank accounts or other nasty stuff.

All those people lived here, or had very convincing fake profiles. So far the only people I've given the address to showed up to collect, so no worries there. One guy wanted my mobile number, to which I refused, but he showed up about five minutes later, turns out he was just lost!

I listed some pedal go karts at £200, which I thought was a bit high, but I made the listing at midnight and had 1000 views and 10 messages 12 hours later. The first guy to message did so half an hour after listing, and offered asking price. His profile was all in Arabic, with nothing but Islam related posts, but he spoke (typed) good English and seemed genuine. He drove over an hour to get to me, and the transaction went smoothly. Classic "don't judge a book by it's cover".

[artdjones]

My two most hassle free purchases were when the price was agreed before seeing the car or van. One was a Xantia HDi 110 which was up for €1500, a good price in 2009 for a nine year old with 92k on the clock. It was 3 hours from me which wasn't a problem, but unprompted he offered to drive to Cork, about 45 min. from me and over 2 hours from him on a no haggling basis. I met him in the station yard there, the car was fine, I gave him his €1500 and he hopped on the train home 10 minutes later. Best car I've owned.

And my recent van purchase was done the same way, except I had to get a lift the other way 4 hours.The van had no test, so I got him to give me a price tested based on that. He added €200 to the veryfair price, so I went up on a no haggling basis. If it wasn't what he said it was no deal. So got driven up and deal went through fine. Of course I'd got a finance check done cheap through a trade friend .

For selling East Europeans are the best customers as long as they're not like the poor wretch above, unable to speak English. They turn up, they look at the car, they haggle a little, buy it, and go. 

[grogee]

9 hours ago, DodgyBastard said:

If you tell too many people to fuck off you can be banned from Facebook marketplace and although it is full of penniless roasters there are some genuine buyers out there.

I sold the Brokus via FB, saved me the £60 odd Toilet Trader fee

[DodgyBastard]

Ah, the joys of marketplace...

 

[RoverFolkUs]

51 minutes ago, DodgyBastard said:

Ah, the joys of marketplace...

 

Raju - "if you bring it I'll drop you" - is that a promise or a threat? No need for physical violence over a bargaining session that didn't end your way.... (yes, I do understand what he really meant)

[catsinthewelder]

Did you put 'no offers' in the ad?

I know it makes fuck all difference.

[RoverFolkUs]

I am increasingly tempted to put a few fake adverts up to draw in as many of these pondlife as possible and subsequently block them to save me dealing with them in the future when actually trying to sell something!

[AnnoyingPentium]

Just now, RoverFolkUs said:

I am increasingly tempted to put a few fake adverts up to draw in as many of these pondlife as possible and subsequently block them to save me dealing with them in the future when actually trying to sell something!

Always more where they came from though. They're like bloody midgies, kill one and five billion appear.