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2021 Quote Thread


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I'd like to kick off this year with this classic Bo11ox rant from Bornite's Clio sale thread.

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I hate 'its only worth what someone is willing to pay' cos it is such a tedious, predictable, pointless cliché of a sentence that adds nowt. When you see these bell ends on FB asking 'whats it worth' day in day out, EVERY SINGLE TIME you get some parsnip-fingered nonce piping in with 'its only worth what someone is willing to pay' like its some great nugget of profound wisdom that's going to part the clouds of uncertainty and finally allow beautiful rays of deal-making sunshine to fall on the whole dismal exchange, when in reality its just the car-trading equivalent of two tubercular cretins pointlessly throwing breadsticks at each other.

 

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  • 4 months later...

Jim Bell's advice on how to advertise a MK3 Astra:

"That looks like a wonderful thing to sob in after you've followed your wife to her karate instructors flat and watched them do sex in silouette form through the bedroom window when the blinds are shut but there's a light behind them so you can see all position changes from your hiding place in an adjacent tree. 

 

Might be worth putting that in the advert".

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  • 1 month later...

@St.Jude on the subject of the calibre of people giving advice on protecting the things most precious to us.
 

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To be fair to her, she worked Sundays and would often work with a hangover.

Which just shows how gulable people are, as in they will worry about what car they're in but don't mind a teenager who stinks of stale archers and lemonade fitting the car seat for them.

 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

A gem from  @cobblers - in fact I believe this is signature material:

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It just can't be, this 2.2 is absolutely the worst sounding engine I've ever had. No amount of sound deadening could stop it sounding like a head on collision between a mobile hammer factory and another mobile hammer factory.

 

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  • 4 months later...
On 6/3/2021 at 7:53 AM, Split_Pin said:

Jim Bell's advice on how to advertise a MK3 Astra:

"That looks like a wonderful thing to sob in after you've followed your wife to her karate instructors flat and watched them do sex in silouette form through the bedroom window when the blinds are shut but there's a light behind them so you can see all position changes from your hiding place in an adjacent tree. 

 

Might be worth putting that in the advert".

This wins. I can't see another quote ever beating this gem. @Jim Bell needs to do some observational comedy on Uchoobs methinks. 

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