wuvvum Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 I'd like to kick off this year with this classic Bo11ox rant from Bornite's Clio sale thread. Quote I hate 'its only worth what someone is willing to pay' cos it is such a tedious, predictable, pointless cliché of a sentence that adds nowt. When you see these bell ends on FB asking 'whats it worth' day in day out, EVERY SINGLE TIME you get some parsnip-fingered nonce piping in with 'its only worth what someone is willing to pay' like its some great nugget of profound wisdom that's going to part the clouds of uncertainty and finally allow beautiful rays of deal-making sunshine to fall on the whole dismal exchange, when in reality its just the car-trading equivalent of two tubercular cretins pointlessly throwing breadsticks at each other. BlankFrank, Dave_Q, SiC and 24 others 14 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdkrc Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 Quote What a terrible pile of shit; it's like an LDV Convoy made in Naples. Well bought! @somewhatfoolish on the Iveco thread DoctorRetro, CreepingJesus, Dave_Q and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Split_Pin Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Jim Bell's advice on how to advertise a MK3 Astra: "That looks like a wonderful thing to sob in after you've followed your wife to her karate instructors flat and watched them do sex in silouette form through the bedroom window when the blinds are shut but there's a light behind them so you can see all position changes from your hiding place in an adjacent tree. Might be worth putting that in the advert". grogee, catsinthewelder, Bamboocarman and 22 others 6 1 17 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimH Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 @St.Jude on the subject of the calibre of people giving advice on protecting the things most precious to us. Quote To be fair to her, she worked Sundays and would often work with a hangover. Which just shows how gulable people are, as in they will worry about what car they're in but don't mind a teenager who stinks of stale archers and lemonade fitting the car seat for them. St.Jude, wesacosa and garethj 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St.Jude Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 2 hours ago, JimH said: @St.Jude on the subject of the calibre of people giving advice on protecting the things most precious to us. I'm glad my wife isn't on the forum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tadhg Tiogar Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 A classic from @MondeoBlues on the subject of water utility companies: "my will to live has blown away like a fart in a wind tunnel" catsinthewelder, Crackers and St.Jude 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiltox Posted August 8, 2021 Share Posted August 8, 2021 13 hours ago, captain_70s said: I don't think that makes you an utter throbber by default though, you must have picked it up elsewhere. In response to @New PODabout the joy of parenting 95 quid Peugeot, Fumbler, cms206 and 9 others 1 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New POD Posted August 8, 2021 Share Posted August 8, 2021 Yeah. That's funny****🤔 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crackers Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 A gem from @cobblers - in fact I believe this is signature material: Quote It just can't be, this 2.2 is absolutely the worst sounding engine I've ever had. No amount of sound deadening could stop it sounding like a head on collision between a mobile hammer factory and another mobile hammer factory. wuvvum, Kiltox, GR8 PL8 M8 and 10 others 2 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High Jetter Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 Shirly hammers make no sound whilst moving...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumblespeed Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 13 hours ago, High Jetter said: Shirly hammers make no sound whilst moving...? Rattle a bit when colliding though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilko220 Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 Bo11ox on the Ford Zephyr: Quote I always liked the shape of these and they seem to have avoided the crazy prices and knucklehead image of most old fords. Probably cos they supposedly drive like a half-burst lilo on the Whitley Bay Leisure pool. MiniMort, AndyW201, catsinthewelder and 4 others 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimH Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 @Bitzer discovers one of the problems with trying to carry out research on the Internet. Quote Unfortunately, any discussion about thermal insulation I read ends in name-calling and trench warfare about dew point. loserone and grogee 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tadhg Tiogar Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 On 7/9/2021 at 1:38 PM, St.Jude said: I'm glad my wife isn't on the forum! Surely also a candidate for Quote of the Year? HMC 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St.Jude Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 29 minutes ago, Tadhg Tiogar said: Surely also a candidate for Quote of the Year? Pretty slim pickings this year if I get two nominations! Tadhg Tiogar 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tadhg Tiogar Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 1 minute ago, St.Jude said: Pretty slim pickings ... Wasn't Slim Pickings a noted blues guitarist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crackers Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 Him there above me @Tadhg Tiogar with a useful tip from the Standards of Driving thread: On 18/08/2021 at 20:15, Tadhg Tiogar said: A good landing is where you can walk away. An excellent landing is where they can reuse the plane.... ProgRocker, MiniMort, Blake's Den and 2 others 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiltox Posted August 25, 2021 Share Posted August 25, 2021 😂 16 minutes ago, captain_70s said: I took that car to the jetwash once you spooge gargling, gran berating, cat buggering, cunt thimble. I'll fucking do you in. grogee, Dave_Q, Rod/b and 5 others 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talbot Posted August 26, 2021 Share Posted August 26, 2021 On 8/24/2021 at 6:22 PM, Crackers said: Him there above me @Tadhg Tiogar with a useful tip from the Standards of Driving thread: A very, very old quote. My current favourite: On 12/28/2020 at 2:50 PM, Bren said: Timing chains are made from fog. sdkrc and Fumbler 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tadhg Tiogar Posted August 26, 2021 Share Posted August 26, 2021 47 minutes ago, Talbot said: A very, very old quote. "A timeless classic" Crackers 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiltox Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 When asked for match recommendations 4 hours ago, Sham said: BiC make a reusable match. louiepj and Sham 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Longbridge Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 On 6/3/2021 at 7:53 AM, Split_Pin said: Jim Bell's advice on how to advertise a MK3 Astra: "That looks like a wonderful thing to sob in after you've followed your wife to her karate instructors flat and watched them do sex in silouette form through the bedroom window when the blinds are shut but there's a light behind them so you can see all position changes from your hiding place in an adjacent tree. Might be worth putting that in the advert". This wins. I can't see another quote ever beating this gem. @Jim Bell needs to do some observational comedy on Uchoobs methinks. cobblers, Bamboocarman, Kiltox and 3 others 3 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High Jetter Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 'do' sex? Not a phrase I've used. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somewhatfoolish Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 1 hour ago, High Jetter said: 'do' sex? Not a phrase I've used. Dick Longbridge, Crackers and Fumbler 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted January 1, 2022 Author Share Posted January 1, 2022 It's a close run thing between the Mk3 Astra and the parsnip-fingered nonce I reckon. Yank Tank 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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