Jump to content

The grumpy thread


outlaw118

Recommended Posts

Fucksticks!!

The normally oh so reliable 99 Ford focus has had a FTP,or really a fail to start as it was fine when parked,but refused to start yesterday for a run to the recycling center. 

A quick check revealed no fuel arriving at the engine.

So knackered fuel pump then.

The trouble with the Focus is that you have to drain and drop the fuel tank to access the pump.

Or....cut hole in the floor...

Anyway , pump is out to reveal this...

20211126_134012.thumb.jpg.d0a69beb59b6e40dcc8a472e82ea68be.jpg

The connection has turned crispy and won't pull out of the pump,evidence of overheating too,which has caused the former I guess.

A new pump is cheap,but the connection may be a problem. 

These things are no longer in breakers now,and even then may be no better.

We shall see.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, junkyarddog said:

Fucksticks!!

The normally oh so reliable 99 Ford focus has had a FTP,or really a fail to start as it was fine when parked,but refused to start yesterday for a run to the recycling center. 

A quick check revealed no fuel arriving at the engine.

So knackered fuel pump then.

The trouble with the Focus is that you have to drain and drop the fuel tank to access the pump.

Or....cut hole in the floor...

Anyway , pump is out to reveal this...

 

A new pump is cheap,but the connection may be a problem. 

These things are no longer in breakers now,and even then may be no better.

 

If you can get better photos of what's left and of the new pump, there's a Facebook group called "automotive connector identification" that'll be able to help you work out what the connector is, they're usually fairly readily available 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, cobblers said:

If you can get better photos of what's left and of the new pump, there's a Facebook group called "automotive connector identification" that'll be able to help you work out what the connector is, they're usually fairly readily available 

Thanks,the pump is actually ok.

I've soldered new wires directly onto it,and tested them.

Will fit it in the morning. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, junkyarddog said:

Thanks,the pump is actually ok.

I've soldered new wires directly onto it,and tested them.

Will fit it in the morning. 

Need to know if you used the Haynes 'drain and drop tank' method or cowboy 'ah fuck it, hole saw under rear seat' method. 

FWIW I found loads of Ford pumps on the Bay when I was looking for my Puma. Different pump/sender assembly, sure, but the motor itself might be the same. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What a complete nightmare.

Just had some doddery old fart in for me to mot his LDV luton bodied van. Obviously the MoT test bay, keep clear sign on the roller door isn't fucking big enough for him to see and he parks right in the entrance. He comes in the office while I'm doing the paperwork for the car already in the test bay. When I ask him not to park there he replies "why ?". Hmm, can you see that bright orange Land Rover in the workshop ? well this is the paperwork and that is the owner you are blocking in. Bit of a grumble but then goes outside.

Next thing there is a thunderous crash.This cretinous moron has driven his box van forward ramming my roller shutter door. Didn't think to check his van could fit under. I came out of the office thinking he'd driven into the freshly painted Land Rover until I saw the carnage. When I asked him what the fuck was he doing he said " thought I'd drive forward " Anyone with half a brain could see the door was only half up now it's a twisted mess. The runners and guides are broken, the rubber seal is just hanging off and the door is creased to buggery. He must have rammed it in temper , what an arsehole. Took me almost two hours to straighten the door enough to close it and this fucking cretin has the audacity to say " I'll ring next week to rebook my MoT " I just told him to fuck off. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, grogee said:

Need to know if you used the Haynes 'drain and drop tank' method or cowboy 'ah fuck it, hole saw under rear seat' method. 

Hmmmm,now let me see,to drain,and remove/replace the tank in cold damp weather on the drive laying on my back getting my eyes and many other facial orifices full of mud,dirt and rust sounds like an extremely unpleasant way to spend an hour or so...

Rather that just a slightly unpleasant 10 minute task of carefully cutting an access hole into the pump and bypassing the previous paragraph. 

With only one grazed knuckle to show for it.

Hope this answers your question 😉😀

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Update to the smoke-spewing brand-new boiler: the heating engineer fella is meant to be calling this morning to take a look (he was 'away' yesterday, apparently); he reckons it just needs some adjustment. I'm less convinced, but we'll see... 

Fortunately, we still have the ancient solid fuel fire fitted to the house from before the boiler went in - managed at least to keep the living room warm last night while the storm raged and screamed round the house, while the back boiler ensured plenty of hot water this morning.

1899044351_IMG_20211127_1041422.thumb.jpg.cde5b883520fb5dd317ee69c1922695c.jpg

Sometimes low-tech wins.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, junkyarddog said:

Hmmmm,now let me see,to drain,and remove/replace the tank in cold damp weather on the drive laying on my back getting my eyes and many other facial orifices full of mud,dirt and rust sounds like an extremely unpleasant way to spend an hour or so...

Rather that just a slightly unpleasant 10 minute task of carefully cutting an access hole into the pump and bypassing the previous paragraph. 

With only one grazed knuckle to show for it.

Hope this answers your question 😉😀

In the end I got pretty good at dropping the tank on mine. But only because I had to do it three fucking times:

- Replace feed line to filter which I thought was leaking (it wasn't)

- Repair leaking tank with 'stop leak' putty and repaint

- Remove and replace old tank because the 'stop leak' didn't work

- Then replace the bastard filler hose with genuine Ford part because the old one had turned to jelly and no generic replacement available

I sympathize because it was exactly as you describe, although this was in the summer so much more agreeable conditions to be lying on the driveway. I did take the opportunity to replace the shitty Ford captive nuts with some stainless items.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Smart car broke down this morning on the M6 

No doubt a fight with smart coming up , the MHD engine uses a very tight belt , alternator & starter in one unit and the belt powers the water pump 

When it snaps you've got about a minute before it's cooked , design fault mercedes are supposed to fix for free according to evilution the smart forum , it was off in under 30s so hopefully it'll be ok 

So we'll find out on Monday what they say , it's only done 19,000 miles 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

New pump bought and fitted.

20211127_151018.thumb.jpg.135fedc148ee3cb9b0018036a36a5518.jpg

Meat and Doria?

No?

Me neither. 

20211127_143746.thumb.jpg.feaeb2d40add27a3905e8c126b9802eb.jpg

Comes with the plug connector though!

All back together,and running again.

Although that wasn't without incident, the car was lowish on fuel,not low enough to have the idiot light on mind you,but driving it the car kept hesitating and couldn't take but the lightest of throttle without losing power and bogging down.

I nursed it to the local fuel station and added a thimble full of petrol ie €20.00 and normal service has been resumed.....hopefully🙄

20211127_150957.thumb.jpg.e4602f8e9bd7809cdde67f6d839b4254.jpg

X marks the spot😂

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

6 hours ago, Wack said:

Smart car broke down this morning on the M6 

No doubt a fight with smart coming up , the MHD engine uses a very tight belt , alternator & starter in one unit and the belt powers the water pump 

When it snaps you've got about a minute before it's cooked , design fault mercedes are supposed to fix for free according to evilution the smart forum , it was off in under 30s so hopefully it'll be ok 

So we'll find out on Monday what they say , it's only done 19,000 miles 

And the postman bought a nice surprise , a £30 fine for driving in a bus lane , all I need now is fucking carol singers 

 

No that's not me driving it. 

20211127_184916.jpg

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was  very slippery this morning coming home from work.

And you've always got the clever cunt behind you who thinks because they've got traction control they can defy physics.

Fuck you buddy.

I'm surprised that the dick head didn't try overtaking.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 11/26/2021 at 7:03 PM, meggersdog said:

What a complete nightmare.

Just had some doddery old fart in for me to mot his LDV luton bodied van. Obviously the MoT test bay, keep clear sign on the roller door isn't fucking big enough for him to see and he parks right in the entrance. He comes in the office while I'm doing the paperwork for the car already in the test bay. When I ask him not to park there he replies "why ?". Hmm, can you see that bright orange Land Rover in the workshop ? well this is the paperwork and that is the owner you are blocking in. Bit of a grumble but then goes outside.

Next thing there is a thunderous crash.This cretinous moron has driven his box van forward ramming my roller shutter door. Didn't think to check his van could fit under. I came out of the office thinking he'd driven into the freshly painted Land Rover until I saw the carnage. When I asked him what the fuck was he doing he said " thought I'd drive forward " Anyone with half a brain could see the door was only half up now it's a twisted mess. The runners and guides are broken, the rubber seal is just hanging off and the door is creased to buggery. He must have rammed it in temper , what an arsehole. Took me almost two hours to straighten the door enough to close it and this fucking cretin has the audacity to say " I'll ring next week to rebook my MoT " I just told him to fuck off. 

I swear people's brains are shrinking.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, NorthernMonkey said:

Two days ago, having got fed up of tripping over my TD5 Defender in the workshop awaiting a new windscreen rubber and tidy up of the front screen surround, I made a start and cut the screen out.

 

48hrs later, FFS…

B5F48C10-6426-4D8C-BCF8-66860851597D.jpeg

Literally 5 days after I take the prop shaft off my t25 because the VC was a bit tight. FFS!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 11/26/2021 at 7:03 PM, meggersdog said:

What a complete nightmare.

Just had some doddery old fart in for me to mot his LDV luton bodied van. Obviously the MoT test bay, keep clear sign on the roller door isn't fucking big enough for him to see and he parks right in the entrance. He comes in the office while I'm doing the paperwork for the car already in the test bay. When I ask him not to park there he replies "why ?". Hmm, can you see that bright orange Land Rover in the workshop ? well this is the paperwork and that is the owner you are blocking in. Bit of a grumble but then goes outside.

Next thing there is a thunderous crash.This cretinous moron has driven his box van forward ramming my roller shutter door. Didn't think to check his van could fit under. I came out of the office thinking he'd driven into the freshly painted Land Rover until I saw the carnage. When I asked him what the fuck was he doing he said " thought I'd drive forward " Anyone with half a brain could see the door was only half up now it's a twisted mess. The runners and guides are broken, the rubber seal is just hanging off and the door is creased to buggery. He must have rammed it in temper , what an arsehole. Took me almost two hours to straighten the door enough to close it and this fucking cretin has the audacity to say " I'll ring next week to rebook my MoT " I just told him to fuck off. 

That definitely needs the twat being charged for a new door.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It’s always good when the salesman sells a machine to a customer that is not suitable for a task it was never designed to do and then I get sent in to “just do your best with it” so hopefully it’ll be ok.

it’s ok Goosey they also have your mobile number so the can contact you anytime, anyplace, anywhere, forever and ever amen 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...