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The grumpy thread


outlaw118

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They never came back yesterday afternoon and its now 9am and no sign of them arriving so far today either. It seems that these guys follow the traditional French tradesmans working methods of doing a day here, and afternoon on a different job, a couple of days on a job miles away, another day here, then the rest of the week elsewhere...basically working* all over the place but actually achieving fuck all progress anywhere.

 

So, basically, French building trades are like English building trades, but left hand drive.

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Dear owner of Black S-Max that I parked next to at Lakeside earlier.

 

Thank you so much for slamming your front AND back doors into the side of my car adding additional dents to it. In particular thank you for chipping off a nice big lump of paint right on a swage line which will be impossible to sort without respraying the door. In addition the scratches down the side where you squeezed your fat arse against my car were a nice touch.

 

When I parked there, I was incredibly careful to not use your doors as a target for mine. I now realise this was wrong and I apologise profusely for not inflicting a couple of hundred quids worth of damage to your car when I parked there.

 

In a world gone wrong, where lunatics roam the streets and the planet teeters on the edge of destruction, you are still a cunt of the highest order. Karma is a bitch my friend, Karma is a bitch.

 

Regards, Parky

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Fuggin ass holes! For the 2nd time this year there has been fraudulent activity on my bank account. Today I notice my balance is down by £429.98, call the bank and this morning someone used my debit card details to buy some electrical equipment for £359.99 and £69.99 spent at Lego!? 

 

Should get the money back but its still infuriates me, having my bank account almost emptied and now having to wait for this back, could be today could be Monday or Tuesday! 

 

My bank (Santander) are pretty good but I detest these pond life thieving unts who make a living from obtaining details.

 

I have one suspicion, the guy I gave my details to when buying car insurance @ Sureterm on Monday, that is the only person who could have seen or heard me say the debit card number / details etc....otherwise I have no idea how/who has pulled this off. 

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Says it all unfortunately, that place does tend to attract all the utter cretins from this area en masse. Commiserations, I had the exact same thing happen to the Maestro three days after a full respray, so I know how you feel.

 

Agreed. It's turned into the Jeremy Kyle show waiting room.

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Isn't Lakeside some sort of shopping complex?

For the ultimate LOLs just have a walk round the roundabout off the M53 that takes you to Cheshire Fucking Oaks shopping outlet. Chrimbo is best as a rule, they've put sort of fixed cones/poles in to stop the morons swerving across three lanes of traffic, but most are covered in the paint from myriad dizzy blonde bints in Minis and 4x4s, who clearly have their own set of rules.

It's absolute fucking carnage, CH4 could make a mint by just setting up some cameras and filming the best bits every day, you'd be stunned by the way some of these absolute knob warblers attempt to drive.

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I have to say, even if someone opened their door into my already heavily fucked wing I'd be pissed off, if I saw them do it (and therefore could 100% be sure it was them in their car), I'd boot my door open into theirs to balance the karma out.

 

There's just no excuse for it.

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I've tried to relax and put it down to one of those things but still can't help but shout the word "CAHNT" in a cockney voice in my head. Nothing like a bit of annoyance to bring my Cockney background to the fore.

 

Torture and murder is still illegal, right?

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Dear owner of Black S-Max that I parked next to at Lakeside earlier.

 

Thank you so much for slamming your front AND back doors into the side of my car adding additional dents to it. In particular thank you for chipping off a nice big lump of paint right on a swage line which will be impossible to sort without respraying the door. In addition the scratches down the side where you squeezed your fat arse against my car were a nice touch.

 

When I parked there, I was incredibly careful to not use your doors as a target for mine. I now realise this was wrong and I apologise profusely for not inflicting a couple of hundred quids worth of damage to your car when I parked there.

 

In a world gone wrong, where lunatics roam the streets and the planet teeters on the edge of destruction, you are still a cunt of the highest order. Karma is a bitch my friend, Karma is a bitch.

 

Regards, Parky

 

I unfortunately had to go to a Tescos whilst out in the Cherry Europe a while back, so I carefully parked it at the furthest end of the car park which was completely empty. When I returned to it, there was some dark green modern europod parked next to it... I mean right next to it, in the space next door...they could have parked anywhere in the whole effing car park but they chose there. When I got home I noticed a green scuff on the rubbing strip on the passenger door... funnily enough. I really despair.

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You have heard of the Dark Web right? its the shady part of the internet where paedos and crims hang out...well, I am sure there must be a load of car forums there too, probably called AutoCunt, and PistonKnobHeads etc. where Beavis and Butthead types chat about their motoring experiences....

 

"was at Tesco today and some normal person had parked their car at the far end of the carpark. Obviously they cared about it, so I did the right thing and parked my leased Focus really close to it and dinged their door when I got out. lol"

 

followed by three pages of replies by people saying "nice one m8" and "serves them right for having a nice car".

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I have to say, even if someone opened their door into my already heavily fucked wing I'd be pissed off, if I saw them do it (and therefore could 100% be sure it was them in their car), I'd boot my door open into theirs to balance the karma out.

 

There's just no excuse for it.

I once had some miserable old bastard do this to my Escort, as I was sitting in it.

I got their attention and expected an apology, only to be ignored and then asked what I wanted?!

 

A 'discussion' ensued and my final reply was booting their people carriers wing.

 

Arseholes.

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20 year old Discovery with side-steps is the way forward.

Parked in the supermarket car park  when I went to the bank today.As I returned my phone rang.I'm sat in the car talking on the phone when the woman parked next to me turns up.I was writing something down as she looked at me, then felt her car door hit mine.Didn't even glance my way as she pulled out.The nice black rubber mark on the lower edge of her driver's door raised a smile though.

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I had that at Asda a while back. Sat in the car waiting [absolutely tugging ages] for t'wife and this sausage licker in a Mondeo throws his door into mine as he gets in. As I was bored I got out to ask exactly what the fuck he was doing and would he like to be a bit more careful in future. Predictably said flange face gave me a right load of abuse and got back in the car whilst his wife backed out of the space as quick as possible.

 

Thankfully as they got to the car park exit they failed to look and a truck hit them causing a lingering, firely,painful death. (Sadly this bit didn't happen but I can dream right?)

 

I do still have his registration number on a bit of paper somewhere though.

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Isn't Lakeside some sort of shopping complex?

For the ultimate LOLs just have a walk round the roundabout off the M53 that takes you to Cheshire Fucking Oaks shopping outlet. Chrimbo is best as a rule, they've put sort of fixed cones/poles in to stop the morons swerving across three lanes of traffic, but most are covered in the paint from myriad dizzy blonde bints in Minis and 4x4s, who clearly have their own set of rules.

It's absolute fucking carnage, CH4 could make a mint by just setting up some cameras and filming the best bits every day, you'd be stunned by the way some of these absolute knob warblers attempt to drive.

 

The council here wants to let some shyster 'developers' build a "high-end outlet village" on one of the very few bits of green space left in Cannock, despite there being several more suitable sites closer to the motorway.  I can find no commitment to improve substantively the local road network - other than a bit of roundabout tweakery - even though it already cannot cope with peak traffic.

 

Many of the dignitaries in question are friends and fellow party members, so this could get messy.  But, as proposed, if you take the wider view, it is a monumentally fecking stupid idea.

 

http://millgreenoutletvillage.co.uk/

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I know i've told this story before, but I worked for a guy who was a bit of a metal case, someone smacked their door into his in a car park and when an apology was't forthcoming so he sat there for a minute or two, shouting and repeatedly belting his drivers door into their car, caving their passenger door in. 

 

Like I said, he was a bit odd.

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Aye it happened to me on the day we were going to trade our car (Focus) in, the wife insisted we stop at McDonalds on the way, whilst sat in the car waiting for her some stupid cow in a brand new Touran thing parks next door and she and her kids both open their doors into the side of if, dinging both front and back doors, I asked what the fuck she was doing and why she has no respect for other peoples property, she just gave me a load of abuse so I returned the favour with my front and back doors, her car looked decidedly worse than mine afterwards, it really pisses me off so I just give it back twice as bad now.

 

Another one last week, I recently bought a new (old) A4, it was unmarked, the old bloke who owned it had never picked up a single ding or scratch on any panel, in 15 years! after parking it carefully a couple of times on essential trips to the supermarket I have returned to find 2 fresh dings on the drivers door, in a week, wankers........ :-(

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To balance things out though...

 

Back in April, I was down Cleethorpes prom one evening with Mrs Ratdat when we observed some feckless bint reverse out of a parking space, across the road and into the side of a parked Mazda completely stoving the door in. They were about to drive off when some other peeps who'd also witnessed it stopped them. The driver and passenger got out and actually inspected the damage on the Mazda but got back in their car and buggered off.

 

I wrote their car details and my number on a bit of paper and stuck it under the wiper of the Mazda. Apparently, the feckless twat is now denying it ever happened but unknown to her, the Mazda guys insurance Co got in touch with me, I filled out a witness form and told them that yes, I was quite happy to go to court as a witness. I'll do it just so she gets screwed because she deserve it. Hopefully it'll not only cost her a packet but her insurance will skyrocket and the cops will do her too. That's karma mofo.

 

I once reversed my old Laurel into a parked Micra smashing in it's rear quarter. Nobody witnessed it but I still went and found out who the owner was and paid to get it repaired out of my own pocket to save an insurance bumming. It cost me £600 but that's my tough shit for doing it.

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I do it on a fairly regular basis, if I have parked with no other car nearby and some dickhead parks so close it's nearly impossible to get out. Then, I simply 'do a Vic & Bob' and repeatedly open my door on their car.

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Re rover crank pulley.

You can take the starter motor off and jam the flywheel teeth with a suitable tool. You can take the bolt out that way!

 

I had great fun doing mine prior to this trick.

I had my dad sit of the brake pedal harder and harder until one of the break calipers blew a seal.

I also tried the cam belt locking method and stripped the teeth and bending two of the valves!

Using a breaker bar also means eventually scraping the paint off the edge of the arch!!

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What causes a cooling system to pressurise? I've spent last night literally shouting at the 740 to the point that I'd hand back my SVM membership if I wasn't a co-founder of it.

 

It's been fine all week, spent yesterday running like a cow, started fine this morning and its now overheating merrily. Switched it off, slowly loosened the pressure cap and nearly got fucking scalded with boiling coolant, followed by loud sounds of water glugging its way back from the bulkhead. The carpets seem to be dry and it open seems to happen with the heaters on. Gonna try bleeding it up again...

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  • Mrs6C changed the title to The grumpy thread

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